Why Men Ask Why are You Still Single

why you are still single

why are you still single

It’s really a simple question.  Why are you still single?  Men ask it all the time to single ladies.  For such a simple question it sure gets a lot of attention.  A lot of women analyze how to to answer this question.  It’s asked in Katarina’s group at least weekly, if not more.

So let’s analyze it shall we?  First if you are on a date with him, apparently he is “still single” too.  I mean we hope so right?  Is this some kind of test?  Why does he ask this question and what answer does he expect?

It’s just a rhetorical question ladies, an icebreaker, a question that about every guy is going to ask you.  It’s an indirect compliment.  If they don’t ask it on the first date to make conversation, then they ask it on the third or 4th when they are trying to woe the pants off of you.  Something like, wow I can’t believe you are still single.  It sort of sounds like “I can’t believe I got so lucky” doesn’t it?

Three Ways not to Answer Why are you still single?

Some are offended by this question.  They think wow what is he implying.  Is he asking if I am a bitch?  Is he thinking I am hard to live with?  What magical answer is he looking for?

1.Do Not go on the defense.  If you feel like you have to justify yourself and the reason you are still single.  If you feel this, stop right here and go look in the mirror.  That’s may be how you view yourself. In other words you ask yourself the same thing if you are honest with yourself. Maybe this question is a trigger for you.  Maybe you are projecting how you feel about self onto him if you feel you have to defend.

2. It’s a qualifying question.  The pick up artists teach these kind of questions.  A qualifying question is one where the man asks the woman a question that causes her to sell herself to him.  If you find yourself going into pitch about how you are over qualified, because you are not going to settle, because you have high standards as so forth and so on, is you jumping into the role of the seller.

why are you still single3. The fairy tale answer.  I haven’t met my prince or Mr. Right has not come along yet. Just don’t go there.  Most men when qualifying you as mentioned above may think you are high maintenance or unrealistic.  I mean life is good and all but it ain’t Disney.

Living up to a fairy tale or high expectations of romance is not at the forefront of the minds of most men. You don’t really want to paint that picture with your reply.

Men are visual ladies and your words paint pictures in their heads.  Seriously.  Usually not the pictures you or I would imagine. He doesn’t get excited visualizing himself as Prince Charming though he does want appreciation.

Best Way to Answer Why are You Still Single

You flip it back on him.  This is an opportunity to create a common bond and flirt at the same time.  How do you do that.  Something like below:

  • Oh I don’t know, probably about the same reason you are still single.
  • Well aren’t you still single too?
  • I guess we have that in common

*always smile delivering these answers. You can tilt your head slightly, or playfully touch his arm if you want more impact but only if this feels natural to you.  He will know the difference.

It’s human nature that we people just love people who are like us.  There is evidence of this on Facebook constantly.  Watch someone post about their ailment and watch how many people comment with the same ailment comparing remedies.

These types of answers paint the picture of “hey, this woman is like me”.  It’s not an obvious thing that he will be thinking but it will register in his subconscious.  Women with Feminine Mystique just do this sort of thing naturally.  They don’t even have to think about it. When men are asked why they fell for such a woman, they often can’t put it into words.

Have you tapped into your feminine energy and cultivated your feminine mystique?

MORE: Polarize Yourself To The Man You Adore, You Won’t Stay Single For Very Long










  • I stumbled across this somehow, but if I were to ask a woman this, it’s always a compliment. How did this beautiful woman reject the masses of dudes that hit on her constantly? Honestly any answer is ok, just don’t get defensive or that gives me the answer why.

  • Some people have an ability to read into people and can get away with replying back with humor. But definitely like your “best way to answer” options. can’t go wrong with it.

  • Read Robin’s best way to answer that, it’s brilliant. Then leave it alone. If he’s not single, he’s not available, so move on and find a man who is available.

  • But my question still remains what would you answer someone that asks why you still single? Especially when that person is NOT single. Can be someone you just met, or someone you work with. I really do not know what to answer.

  • I really don’t know why I am considering this man. Probably because we see a lot of each other and we grew very fond of each other. He wasn’t somebody I wanted to like…. Would love to talk privately.

  • Katarina, what if he asks this question and he is not single, but he likes you? What should one answer? It has to be either 1, or 2 or 3 no?

    • If he isn’t single, it doesn’t matter how you answer him. How about I don’t think that’s any of your business. Just kidding but really, why are you considering a man who is not available?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *