When He Says You Deserve Better This Is What He Means
I think we have all heard this line before, when he says you deserve better. It’s confusing to many women I am sure. Usually when a woman hears a man say she deserves better or she deserves more she rushes into convincing mode. She tries to reassure him that he is enough for her. After reading what it really means when he tells you that you deserve better, hopefully you will never try to convince a man otherwise again.
You may take this as a compliment and I hate to break it to you, but it’s really not a compliment. Contrary to popular belief, men really don’t want to disappoint you. When a man says you deserve better, he is trying to warn you ahead of time, hoping you won’t be disappointed when you don’t get your needs met from him.
A man that tells you that you deserve better or that you are too good for him or anything of that nature already knows you are more invested that he is. He is in a way letting you down easy. It’s a nice way of telling you, he isn’t able or more likely isn’t willing to give you what he knows you deserve in a relationship.
You deserve better is a phrase men use that ranks right up there with “I don’t want to hurt you”.
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Why Does He Think He is Not Good Enough
The reality of these words from a man is he is right and he does speak the truth. You deserve a man who wants to give you the love and respect that you deserve. When he says you deserve better he is telling you that he won’t give you better. It’s in your best interest to believe him.
I have used this line. I used it on my ex many times before I broke up with him and I meant those words. He did deserve better. He deserved to find a woman that could love him the way I just didn’t. I knew he was deeply in love with me and I knew I could not return that. In my mind he just wasn’t the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, so I told him many times that he deserved better.
Part of this is also guilt on his part. I know, I felt some guilt too. Maybe guilt isn’t the right word but I sure felt bad. I felt bad knowing a man loved me and I could not love him back and my thought that he deserves better was spot on, he did. I just didn’t want to give him better, therefore I couldn’t.
When a man really loves you or is smitten with you, he won’t be telling you that you deserve better. He will do anything in his power to be better for you. When he says you deserve better, you haven’t captured his heart enough to inspire him to WANT to give you better. Men do what it is they want to do.
Don’t Try to Convince a Man He is Enough
When a man feels that you are more invested into the relationship than he is this is just one of the lines you will hear or a stalling tactic that he will use to try to slow you down or pace the relationship. if you react by trying to convince him otherwise, you are just showing him exactly how much more ahead of him you really are. This does not endear you to him, quite the opposite. Men don’t really respect women that settle for their crumbs.
When you try to convince or prove to a man that he is good enough for you, when he knows already that he is not because he can’t (doesn’t want to) give you what you deserve, he will usually begin to pull away.
When a man says you deserve better, he has already come to terms with the fact that he can’t meet up to your expectations. This happens more often when a woman gets ahead of the man in a relationship. She begins to act like a girlfriend before he has claimed her. He isn’t feeling inspired to win you over, because he already knows he has you.
When you act like a girlfriend before he is ready, he is going to feel pressure to reciprocate because he knows that is what you want and expect. This often causes a man to tell you that you deserve better.
If you are a woman that knows her value, you will intuitively know this man has no intention at this point of giving you a commitment and you won’t invest too much energy into such a man. A high value woman is easy to lose. She can take it or leave it. This is the kind of woman that inspires men to step up. A woman trying to convince a man he is good enough does not inspire this in a man because she doesn’t value herself enough. She accepts his low offer.
When he says you deserve better, he speaks the truth and it has nothing to do with if YOU think he is good enough for you and everything to do with he just knows he is not because he doesn’t feel motivated to step up and be THAT man for you.
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