Ways You Unknowingly Lean Forward With Men
Leaning back is not a strategy to get a man. It is giving a man space. Space to show you who he is. It’s giving yourself space to observe his intentions.
Leaning back is about managing your emotional investment. Right from the very start. Yet many women use leaning back when a man isn’t stepping up like they desire or is showing some less than desirable behavior.
While absolutely yes, you should lean way back in these situations yet if you understand about leaning back in relationships, these situations may not come up at all.
Leaning Back Involves Offering Up Some Reservations
Leaning back is more than just not initiating and mirroring his behavior. There are many times a women feels she is going with the flow when in reality it is leaning forward.
I recently read about a woman that just spent three days with a man she wasn’t in a relationship with and was just dating. Three days, non stop togetherness. Some women invite themselves to always be in a guy’s presence even.
Now he hasn’t called or texted or contacted her since so she is now leaning back. She is in no contact. Apparently so is he.
A woman that spends all this time with a man who she is not in a relationship with is highly likely to begin to feel attached. She has not managed her emotional investment very well.
And he knows. Trust me he knows. So he is now managing her investment for her by withdrawing his attention. He holds the power.
Spending large amounts of time with a man who isn’t even your boyfriend without any attempt to hedge your bet by also giving your rotation a chance to build up is leaning forward.
Another common example of this is a woman texting all day long with a man. He keeps texting and she keeps answering. She justifies it by calling it mirroring his actions.
Not all actions deserve to be mirrored.
More times than not, the woman who engages in these all day textathons with men end up in Katarina’s private group posting in a couple of weeks how he suddenly slowed down or a day went by with no texts at all.
She is now stressed and anxious and in fear that he is losing interest.
It’s highly likely that he is. You didn’t give him the space to show you his intention as his intentions are not revealed in the words of his texts.
As stated at the beginning of this post, leaning back is about managing your emotional investment.
In both of the above examples, no reservation was offered up. This comes across as over eagerness and being eager is not leaning back.
You may say well he was or is the eager one. Maybe he is and maybe he is genuinely excited about you at the moment.
Pacing him now will do show you his real intentions and build a deeper emotional bond.
Stop thinking in terms of instant gratification and focus on long term satisfaction.
Leaning Back Prevents Those Sticky Situationships
A situationship is when you get into a place in a relationship where you don’t know what to do. For example, you are dating a man, he says he isn’t ready for a relationship but doesn’t want you seeing others.
He isn’t giving you what you need yet now you have invested so much time and energy into this man, you feel uncomfortable dating others. You may fear he will leave. You feel damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
You thus trap yourself in one-sided exclusivity. Thousands of women do this every day and they ended up in Katarina’s care.
Had you leaned back and taken space from the beginning, this situationship would not even develop.
The trouble most women have is they are so focused and desiring to be in a relationship that they can’t pace themselves let alone pace the man.
When you focus on the journey and not the destination, you will be naturally leaned back.
I have fond memories of men that I dated that it didn’t go anywhere with yet I didn’t get my heart broken.
When you are at ease and leaned back, you don’t get into these situationships and the men that aren’t good for you weed themselves out and the cream will rise to the top.
Leaning Back Is an Energy
Leaning back is about giving yourself and him space and being at ease in the space.
When you are leaned back naturally a man experiences a feeling of freedom to be himself and that alone is so very alluring.
Take for example the man you are dating or in a relationship gets the opportunity to travel. You don’t torture yourself with thoughts of if he meets or hooks up with someone else. You don’t get all anxious if he doesn’t contact you every day.
You relax and anticipate his return. You trust.
Leaning back is creating and embracing space. It’s something that a woman with a full life just does naturally.
She creates that space by not jumping all in too soon or too fast. She does not attach to every man that shows her some attention.
She rests easily in that space and is not filled with anxiety and worry.
You can practice all the leaning back behaviors in the world yet if you are still feeling anxious, worried or fearful, you are not truly leaned back and your energy will betray you.
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