Members LoginThis Fear Will Block Love in Your Life
Do you wonder and worry “will I be single forever?” Will I die alone? This is a real fear experienced by so many in the world. Many are consumed by this fear.
I remember a time in my life where I “thought” I was so in love with a man who obviously was not in love with me, for like the 18th time. I remember sitting on my front porch having my own pity party, crying, screaming to God will I ever meet a man that really sees me and gets me.
I even remember what I was wearing in that pivotal moment in my life when I finally said enough is enough.
No more waiting around and wasting time for something or someone else to be happy.
If you are reading this, I am sure you can relate. Your frustration at the rejection in your life has manifested into a deep fear of being alone and never finding the one. Terrified that you will never find that soul connection.
Drowning in feelings of aloneness and loneliness. Feeling that time is running out and your biological clock is ticking.
Fear you may die alone.
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Fear of Being Alone Keeps You Lonely
If you have delved into any form of spiritual teachings, you are familiar with the words fear and love can not coexist.
Fear keeps you anxious, angry and hopeless. These emotions repel deeper human connection which is the one thing you want more than anything.
Love is joyful, happy and content. These emotions attract.
If you are terrified or in a constant state of worry, you are focused on what you don’t have and the universal laws of attraction will keep delivering more of the same.
What you focus on will expand. Not only will it grow and take up space in your mind lie a cancerious growth, it will expand and spill into your outer world as well. Poison!
When you learn peace from being alone you radiate a certainty that is extremely attractive.
What if I am Alone Forever
We don’t have a crystal ball. We really don’t know if we will or will not be alone or single forever. Answering this question is a first step in overcoming this fear of being alone or loneliness.
Do you see a life of sadness, misery and despair?
I have a glimpse of what life is like from this sadness and despair. My Mother lived in this place through out much of her life.
I loved/love my Mama and her path is partly responsible for my path. I don’t want my life to be like that. That is just not an option for me.
Surely happiness exists outside of a romantic lifetime partner.
When you embrace this and find peace with it, liberation comes.
Life is going to keep on rolling whether you have found that one or not so what are you going to do with that life?
Acceptance of what is in this moment and letting go of the need to know what is going to unfold in our lives is freedom.
We don’t know what is ahead of us. You can live in fear of it or you can embrace it with joyful anticipation.
You have a choice here.
I just celebrated the 93rd birthday with a woman I have known all my life that has never married or had children. She is a delight, still lives a full live and has no regrets.
She made a choice to be happy where she is at and it shows.
Times We Are Acutely Aware of our Aloneness
There are times in our lives when we are far more aware of how alone we are. After a break up. In a health crisis. In the midst of the loss of a loved one. Sometimes just having a sucky day is all it takes to trigger that aloneness.
These are the toughest times for those that experience loneliness in their lives. I have experienced them all and it’s highly likely you have too.
I have had a health crisis. 6 times in the hospital. I did not dwell on the support I did not have from a man in my life. It didn’t even cross my mind and I am at complete peace with this.
I live in what is now and not what it could or wish it should be. The reality was I did have friends and family for support. I focused on that.
Need I mention that after 8 days in a hospital with no shower is not exactly how I want a romantic interest to see me. He better be full in to get that privilege.
The reality also was this. At the end of the night when my friends and family had gone home, I was alone. Alone with my fears. Not fears of being alone but the awareness of my own immortality.
I was scared and no man, friend or family could take that away.
Depending on another human to take away your fears is fleeting. This is an inside job.
A man is not the cure for your fear of being alone forever. He can comfort, support, but the fear is in you and out of his control.
There is no way he can give you a life time guarantee. People leave. People die. Nothing is forever.
Consequences of Fear of Being Alone Forever
Most who are terrified of being alone and in despair because they haven’t met the one yet are the same ones who:
- Wind up in unfulfilling relationships
- Stay in dead end relationships long after the expiration date
- Settle for low value men
- Carry grudges and resentment deeply from men in the past
- Struggle with letting go
- Feel sad when others have what it is they want
- Jump into relationships too fast
- Experience trust issues
All of the above are connected. Have you ever stayed in a relationship too long with a man who doesn’t treat you right? Being alone seemed scarier. Something was better than nothing?
Then due to the behavior of this man that you stayed with and gave to, and he left, now you struggle to trust.
It’s a cycle, a pattern that can repeat itself over and over until you take the time to do the inner work and make peace within.
It’s a useless fear that doesn’t serve you.
Loneliness is a symptom of one that is disconnected from self.
JOY!
The Fear of Being Alone Steals This From You
When you are consumed by any fear, your energy is that of desperation. When you fear you may be alone forever and never meet that special man to share you life with, you lose sight of the big picture.
You allow this fear to steal your joy!
You date with an agenda in hopes to quell that fear. In the process you miss many experiences that can bring you joy. You miss many lessons that can bring you a deeper self awareness and closer to love.
I have experienced many men who did not turn out to be the one. I have been involved with many men I knew would not be the one.
I experienced heartache and I also had the time of my life. I am grateful for the memories, connections and experiences.
Each one came with a lesson about myself. One taught me that I had issues with receiving. Another taught me I myself was unavailable on an emotional level. So many lessons and so much self awareness came from these experiences.
Love is all around you in many forms other than a man. A man is just a blip on this huge radar of life.
If a man is the only or main means of what you believe it takes to be happy in life, my dear woman, you are missing all the joys all around you wearing that set of blinders.
If you make a conscious effort to see and give love in all areas of your life, whether it be your pet or a random stranger, your friends, family, your world will shift.
More love will be drawn in and not only will men be drawn to you, but others as well.
Removing this fear will remove a huge block to love and set you free. You owe it to yourself to do so.
Your relationships in all areas will improve and happiness will follow. You may even find you career takes an upper turn.
The battle to conquer oneself is what makes a woman truly remarkable and a keeper. And the irony of it all is “this battle” is about letting go, trusting things to unfold in its own time, going with the flow and how to stop resisting so much to whatever “life is” in the moment. How to face FEAR and SELF-DOUBT in the face of all challenges inherent in all dating situations is the key that is missing that prevents these women from having the relationship they want. Katarina Phang
Excerpt from The Journey Inward
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When Your Biological Clock is Ticking
You want to learn more of this sacred knowledge that will bring you more understanding of men, love, relationship and in the process more peace of mind? There are a few options you can do (pick two or all of them):
1. Sign up for my newsletter, and you will receive three first chapters of my ground-breaking ebook and a free class on how to overcome your anxiety and triggers without pushing him away.
2. Add yourself to one of my fabulous FB support groups: Katarina Phang’s High Value Goddess Community. My groups aren’t moderated and it’s what sets them apart, believe it or not! Transformation happens gradually or fast (depending on where you are in your journey) because you are forced to see your own reflection in every member that stirs a strong emotional reaction in you. The groups make you AWARE and AWAKE, that’s the entire purpose of my teachings. It can’t be done when you are being coddled in a fake environment of safety (you don’t get that in the real world out there either but you will learn to cope as a healthy and well-adjusted adult). Any wonder I’m the one coach with the most results out there? It’s thanks to this, among other things.
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7. Sign up for my magnificent Feminine Magnetism Group Coaching consisting of 27 weeks (approximately 54 hours of learning), particularly Module 1 Journey Inward and Module 5 Salvation Through Relationship. You will accelerate your growth with this one-of-kind profound program not being offered anywhere else. Begin the journey toward equanimity and self-acceptance.
Frolic with Kat in her hot tub overlooking her stunningly picturesque back yard
8. Come to my celestial home for the upcoming retreat. We’ll have at least twice a year/retreats. If you like to listen to my speeches, you’ll be even more blown-away to sit with me in my living room (the Zen room) overlooking the celestial infinity pool in an intimate setting while I’m delivering my teachings. You’ll come home with a new more empowered perspective on love, men, relationship and life in general. I can shift you energetically like no other and usher you to the gate of a new dimension of reality.
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Want to learn more the ins and outs of inspiring the man you adore to commit to you THE MOST DEFINITE WAY? Here’s the most affordable way: by working with me face to face in a very relaxed, fun and intimate setting in my own home! And you will get some of the coaching programs I mention here as bonuses as well so you can start listening to them before coming to the weekend getaway. I promise you it’ll be one of the most worthwhile investments you’ll ever make in your life and you will leave knowing exactly how to be a high value woman. Your life will turn upside down for the better after the retreat if you practice all the skills I teach there.
This is one of the best post I’ve read Kat, such an eye opener