The Fine Line of Luring with Honey or Being a Doormat!

lure with honey or be a doormat

Katarina teaches us women about luring with honey in dating and relationships. Many however, take this concept a bit far and use it in situation where it’s not warranted.  The result is doormat behavior.

Honey can be as as simple as just being warm and receptive and open (listen to the luring-with-honey class here).

It can also at times be as simple as just being non reactive and drama free (listen to the softening-boundaries class here).

Situations are all different, and knowing when to implement the above two simple forms of honey determine if you are high value or a doormat.

You can join katarina’s High Value Goddess Community on Facebook here!

When Honey Turns to Doormat

For example.  A woman has been on a couple of dates with a guy.  He disappears for weeks, comes back around, makes plans and then doesn’t follow through or show up.

He may or may not offer an apology or explanation.  Regardless it’s not the first time or the second time it has happened.

He does this numerous times and again, pops back up, usually with a text maybe just to say hey, maybe to suggest meeting again.  Her question is what is a high value response or how to give a honey response.

Let’s say he texts “Hey, let’s get together soon”.

A man that disappears, doesn’t follow through, and flat out flakes does not need to be slathered with any honey.

Me personally I probably would not reply at all. I withdraw my attention.

No response is actually honey when you compare it to the alternative.

The alternative being reactive and giving him a piece of your mind.  Lashing out and going into a speech about how valuable their time is and how disrespected you feel.

Wasting your time yacking at a man about his wrong doings is not valuing your own time. Trust me he already knows.

Talking less is far more effective.

Show him with actions or lack of how to treat you. Words won’t work.

I have seen ladies give advice to reply with something like “Sure I am free such and such a day.”

That’s when honey turns into a doormat and you just told him you will accept bad behavior.

Please don’t do that. If you must say something, just say okay and leave it.

When to Pour Some Sugar on Him

Let’s say you have just started talking to a man and he asks you out, sets the time and place.  The night arrives and right before the date he texts or calls you that something came up like maybe work, sick, sick kid. car accident, whatever.

If this is the first time, I usually give a benefit of a doubt.  You can pour a bit of honey in your response but please don’t go overboard.

A little Honey Response:

“No worries, things happen, some other time.”

That’s it. You were polite, non reactive and left it open and the ball in his court.  All you do now is keep living your life and forget about him for now.

A Doormat or Undesirable responses:

“Oh that’ too bad, I am disappointed.  I am free Thursday.”

“It would have been nice if you had told me sooner. My time is valuable.”

While I am on this subject, I have to say, whoever came up with this offering up the days you are available when it doesn’t work out the first time might want to rethink this.

A man cancels or flakes on you, he is aware and if he is interested he knows what to do.  You don’t have to lead him.  It screams of over eagerness scented with some control.

If he is interested and you have been receptive and non reactive, he will try again.  You don’t have to help him along.

Honey is for the Worker Bees

Save your honey for the guys that are putting in some effort.  Guys that stay in touch, make plans and put in some work. Be open, flirty, and receptive.

Giving honey to flaky guys, guys that just send you texts daily (e-tethering) with no plans for dates or putting in actual time to get to know you in person don’t get your honey.

You can read what to do with a man who is e=tethering here.

Honey in cases where guys just aren’t really present in your life comes in the form of being drama free and non reactive.

Honey can be as much about what you don’t do as what you do.  A guy flakes on you and you take the high road and just move on knows you value yourself.  You showed him with actions or lack of your reactions, that he doesn’t get your attention with less than behavior.

Even negative attention is attention, so simply withdraw attention.  That actually is honey.

Men notice this as most women aren’t so calm.  They lash out with their feelings and give him a piece of their mind.  We call this vinegar.

Take the high road.  It’s honey honey. You will stand out among the crowd.

Learn ultimate way relating to a man in a way that will cause him to see you as an exception here.

 

MORE: When Expectations Are Actually Deal Breakers?

You want to learn more of this sacred knowledge that will bring you more understanding of men, love, relationship and in the process more peace of mind?  There are a few options you can do (pick two or all of them):

1. Sign up for my newsletter, and you will receive three first chapters of my ground-breaking ebook and a free class on how to overcome your anxiety and triggers without pushing him away.

2. Add yourself to one of my fabulous FB support groups: Katarina Phang’s High Value Goddess Community.  My groups aren’t moderated and it’s what sets them apart, believe it or not!  Transformation happens gradually or fast (depending on where you are in your journey) because you are forced to see your own reflection in every member that stirs a strong emotional reaction in you.  The groups make you AWARE and AWAKE, that’s the entire purpose of my teachings.  It can’t be done when you are being coddled in a fake environment of safety (you don’t get that in the real world out there either but you will learn to cope as a healthy and well-adjusted adult).  Any wonder I’m the one coach with the most results out there?  It’s thanks to this, among other things.

3. Download my Apps: Android and/or IPhone and you can access all the free and paid contents from there.

4. Subscribe to this blog on the upper right hand corner of this page.

5. Follow me on FB and like my page, so you will know when I have FREE classes with juicy content and teachings on FB live videos.  I give away so much free content because I know the impact I have on humanity as a whole.

6. Subscribe to my youtube channel.  I’ll eventually add all my free classes/videos there.

7. Sign up for my magnificent Feminine Magnetism Group Coaching consisting of 27 weeks (approximately 54 hours of learning), particularly Module 1 Journey Inward and Module 5 Salvation Through Relationship.  You will accelerate your growth with this one-of-kind profound program not being offered anywhere else. Begin the journey toward equanimity and self-acceptance.

8. Come to my celestial home for the upcoming retreat.  We’ll have at least twice a year/retreats.  If you like to listen to my speeches, you’ll be even more blown-away to sit with me in my living room (the Zen room) in an intimate setting while I’m delivering my teachings.  You’ll come home with a new more empowered perspective on love, men, relationship and life in general. I can shift you energetically like no other and usher you to the gate of a new dimension of reality.

Please share this article if it resonates with you.

Want to learn more the ins and outs of inspiring the man you adore to commit to you THE MOST DEFINITE WAY?  Here’s the most affordable way: by working with me face to face in a very relaxed, fun and intimate setting in my own home!  And you will get some of the coaching programs I mention here as bonuses as well so you can start listening to them before coming to the weekend getaway.  I promise you it’ll be one of the most worthwhile investments you’ll ever make in your life and you will leave knowing exactly how to be a high value woman.  Your life will turn upside down for the better after the retreat if you practice all the skills I teach there.

Related Post

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *