Members LoginThe Beautiful, Delicate Bonding Act of Receiving
It is better to give than to receive. That is a belief I truly began to question over the last decade of my life. They are both equal. Neither is greater than the other.
My apologies Apostle Paul, but there is no record of these words ever coming from the mouth of Jesus in the bible. Maybe he did say them, maybe he didn’t, but you won’t find these words in Mathew, Mark, Luke or John. They are written in the book of Acts, long after the death and resurrection.
In order to receive, there must be a giver in the equation. Giving when done from a healthy place is joyful. You as the one who struggles to receive deprives the giver of this joy.
Receiving is giving when you think about it this way. You just gave joy in your grace to receive.
Yet so many women struggle with this.
They can’t even receive a compliment with grace. That dress looks great on you is met with “oh, I have had this old dress for years”. They downplay themselves which downplays the gift of the compliment.
Your Inability to Receive Breaks a Relationship
I am now aware of how my inability to receive broke down quite a few of my relationships. Perhaps in my sharing, you will see some of yourself here.
My first love, he was a giver. I was young, like 20. Not long out of the nest of my Mother.
He would leave sweet cards on my car. He would leave gifts outside of my door. It is not lost on me that he didn’t give these things in person. He had some rejection fears of his own perhaps, but that is another post entirely.
He eventually cheated on me with a girl who would fawn all over his gifts. First heartbreak of my life.
I took away his joy in my inability to receive. She gave it back to him.
Much later in life I had a boyfriend that I thought was perfect. Alpha male.
I got laid off from my job, started to struggle. He showed up at my door with 500 bucks and a big smile on his face. I wouldn’t take it.
He wanted to give it.
That was an opportunity for me to be vulnerable and I tossed it away. My emotional unavailability shone like a beacon in that moment.
I sucked the wind right out of his sails and took away his opportunity to be my hero. I thought I was being selfless, but I was actually very selfish, putting my pride first.
He felt my distrust and distrust was exactly what it was. I didn’t trust that he was giving with no conditions.
I was raised that most things that were given to me came at a big price. Held over my head and emotionally manipulative with many conditions attached.
My inability to receive was learned trauma behavior and baggage that I still practiced and carried long after the trauma was gone.
Difference in Taking and Receiving
There is a big difference in the energy and vibration from one who is receiving and one who is taking or attempting to take.
You may be thinking, well I am a giver not a taker but there are ways in which you may be attempting to take that you haven’t given a second thought.
When I see a post from Katarina’s group asking things like the following I see the taker in the woman.
- How can I get him to give me more attention and affection
- How can I get him to call instead of text
- How can I get him to spend more time with me
- How can I get him to share his feelings
- Should I tell him when he doesn’t text me back that I am hurt
- How can I get him to step up
- How can I get closure from him
This is you trying to take. Trying to take something that he isn’t willing, ready or wants to give. It’s unbalanced.
This is one reason why having the talk rarely if ever works. It’s you trying to get what you want (taking).
I don’t know about you, but I can feel it when someone is trying to take or get something from me for their own benefit. My defenses go up and the bonding experience is null and void. It’s not happening.
When a man gives to you, graciously receive. If he calls you one evening when he usually just sends a good night text, tell him it pleases you. You can just say oh what a nice surprise. Don’t tell him you wish he would do it more.
Receive the inch without trying to take the mile.
When you want more, it’s because you think that getting more will make you feel better. Do I need to tell you that this is you putting the responsibility of your well being into his hands?
A man who feels responsible for your well being will not feel safe with you and it extinguishes the fire.
Allow things to unfold naturally without pushing (trying to take). If he gives you what you desire, wonderful. If he doesn’t give him freedom and move on.
Learn more how to shine in your captivating receptive feminine energy through the hit Leaning Back Workshop and experience a shift in your relationship or situasionship with your EUM (he’s “EU” because you’re not polarized enough to his masculine energy which means he puts you in the friend zone).
Embrace the Vulnerability of Receiving
Many a woman labels herself as a giver. You have seen the memes on social media I am sure.
Memes about how they give and give but when they are done they are done. They post these things like it’s a badge of honor. About how their big hearts keep getting broken.
It’s not. When I see these things, I think oh there is a woman who is not comfortable with receiving.
Receiving requires vulnerability and humility. These characteristics help strengthen connection.
If you understand the universal laws of the universe, it only makes sense that if you identify as a giver, you will attract those who take from you.
The over giver story that you have written for yourself is not serving you.
If receiving makes you uncomfortable, somewhere in there is a story of unworthiness.
Change the story you tell yourself. Begin to focus on receiving. What you focus on expands.
Remember that when you are able to graciously receive, you are giving the giver at that moment joy.
Men want to make you smile, make you happy. Let them.
And last but not least, if you’re a true Katarina Addict please be informed that the most affordable way to get my coaching is the fan subscriptions and as of today March 21, 2022 we have 220 classes that I call satsangs in the library amounting over 245 hours of streaming (mind you number adds quickly week to week as Coach Dasha and I will show up once or twice a week (minimum 6 or 7 classes/month, soon will be 8 classes/month) and you will get all this wealth of knowledge on men and relationship for a measly $99/month!!!
You get to listen to all the previous classes including the ones that will help you a great deal if you are in the breakup situations: “How to Move On after a Breakup, And Attract Him Back in The Process If That’s What You Want“ (90 mins) and “How to Survive and Thrive After A difficult Break Up” (90 mins)!!
And attend the next one LIVE every Thursday or Friday at 5 pm EST. Get ready with your questions and Katarina will dissect them for you.
Check the list of the 220 classes here (please note I will need to update the list every so often so keep checking on it). Sign up today and stay for at least 3 months so you can claim your bonus class valued at $107 here including the super duper hit class: How to Be High Value and Easy to Lose and How It Can Inspire Men to Step up.
And get a BONUS of my new 265 pages ebook valued at $67: The Road to Goddesshood; Katarina Phang’s Clients’ Accounts on Their Journey to Reclaim Their Authentic Power Volume 1 upon signing up. IT’S SIMPLY AN UNBEATABLE VALUE FOR MONEY YOU WON’T GET ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET EARTH!!