Six Important Messages About The Mind That Will Change Your Life Forever

the nature of the mind

If you have followed me a while you will notice that I don’t actually dispense love advice, rather mainly how to be love itself.  This is what makes me stand out from the rest.  To immerse in and become love is simply to drop the mind.  But to drop the mind requires you to understand what the mind is and how it works.

Here are six important messages you can start cultivating and meditating on and that will change your life forever:

1. To know how the mind works you have to separate yourself from the mind. You need to practice creating that gap between you and your thoughts. Only then you can observe in a detached fashion like a scientist observing natural phenomena.

When you know the origin of thoughts, you see through their illusory nature. Only then you will also understand the the mechanics of the disappearance of thoughts. Thoughts can only disappear when you no longer see their benefits but instead you see objectively their destructive effects.

Only when thinking or continuing on a thought is a matter of choice you have attained self-mastery.

You will no longer duped by them. Simply put: depression is a sign of believing in every damning I-thought. It’s a mind that is DUPED big time. It’s very overwhelming. Only when you have tasted the experience of no thought (no mind) you will experience the taste of life without any depression/anguish/suffering at all.

This is what liberation is all about and it is doable in this lifetime as I have attained it myself.


2.  Since the mind (ego) will always inquire and seek, I found out that it wouldn’t be quiet till it had exhausted every avenue. Then it would know it can’t know everything and let go. Hence my inner work program Journey Inward gives the appearance of the whys of this and that so one day you’ll just let go all this “knowledge” cause it doesn’t serve a purpose anymore. It doesn’t matter anymore. Acceptance will come naturally when the mind is totally exhausted and seeing its own limitations. To tell a newbie to just accept is a tall order cause the mind will resist.

I used to have an idea of what the Buddha’s enlightenment was: he could see this life, past and future lives and how lives (the universe) come to be, etc…all this superpower stuff. But that is the ego that always seeks to figure everything out. The Buddha came to that realization when he had tried all methods under the sun and he got exhausted, deprived and nearly killed himself with starvation. That’s all ego. The truth was much closer than he thought it was. Just be here, now…stop running and seeking. Be okay with what is…that’s all to it.

Enlightenment isn’t about gaining more knowledge or the ultimate knowledge, it’s about extinction of all egoic drives (hence it’s called Nirvana which means extinction or disappearance).

He didn’t become a super man, he became an egoless man. He didn’t add more to himself, he shed all of himself to come to the center of it all which was Emptiness.

3.  Most people operate from the level of consciousness that is limited to thoughts. They are lost in them day-in day-out. They have no control whatsoever of which thoughts appear and which grab hold of their awareness and creating so much mayhem in their lives cause they take every thought they think as the truth and their reality.

Check this in yourself.  Is it true?

It’s a level of consciousness filled with suffering. The total identification to the false self which is made of thoughts is the roots of all the problems in the world.

The level of consciousness transcending thoughts is called awareness.  You can cultivate awareness by practicing mindfulness meditation.

“Risk everything for awareness, but never risk awareness for anything. This is the commitment of a sannyasin: that he is ready to lose his life but not his awareness; he has found a value which is higher than life. There is no other value which is higher than awareness. Awareness is the seed of godliness in you. When it comes to its full growth, you have come to the fulfillment of your destiny. As your goes deeper, your actions may not be efficient but they will have a new quality, the quality of grace, which is far more valuable. No machine can have the quality of grace. Your actions, your words will have a beauty of their own.


The way a man of awareness lives, each moment is filled with tremendous grace and beauty. It is reflected in his actions, even in the smallest actions – just in the gesture of his hand or just the way he looks; in the depth of his eyes or the authority of his words or the music of his silence. His very presence is a celebration.” ~Osho

When you gain skills to understand how the mind works and how it binds you, over time you just know not to think and only think when you need to. It’s freedom when you get to that point. You feel this spaciousness all around you cause you vibrate from a higher level of consciousness: the level that doesn’t poisoned by mundane useless thoughts. Your life starts to change dramatically from that point on. You have more energy and focus to work on what really matters and what you focus on expands and you’ll vibrate higher and higher.

And you become an empty vessel which doesn’t take blows but only allowing them to go through you. You’re like a teflon cause nothing sticks nor can hurt you. You have no definition of self anymore. It’s fluid and changing moment to moment cause you have dropped all the stories that you thought were you. You are undefined and boundless.

4.  To be egoless means to relax. To be egoless doesn’t take energy cause there is no tension in a state of egolessness. To identify with the ego requires thinking. To think requires energy. To fight, to resist requires energy. To be miserable requires energy. To let go, to surrender, to accept and to be joyful doesn’t require energy. Our natural state of being requires no energy and that is what egolessness is.

To just be is to experience the state of egolessness.

You can just be while creating and building. In fact best builders and creators are those who know to just be. They’re one with the tasks they’re doing, instead of resisting them. Idle people often don’t know how to just be cause their lofty idealism is in the way. They want something that isn’t here and they think thinking about it some more will help them get it. Idleness combined with idealistic thinking creates impulses that end in mayhem. That’s the sickness of the human mind.

Your view of the world is related to your self-conception/ego. The more dogmatic you are to any school of thought, the thicker the ego is, the more likely you will have problems with men. So look at your reaction when you get so easily offended by what people say. The likelihood is you take offense to every little thing guys say too. Who has the time to take care of your feelings 24/7? I certainly don’t.

5. Learn and practice direct perception. Direct perception doesn’t lie. It doesn’t have the motive the ego has. And the ego is none other than the mind. The mind is so filled to the brim with conceptions and preconception, should and must haves. It’s the screen through which you perceive the world. You filter out what’s beyond your awareness. So be very careful about locking yourself up into a position. Where you stand from you can only see one side of any situation. There’s the other side you never know about and they feel just as strongly as you do.

“An idealist is a hypocrite, because he is always trying to become what he is not, instead of being and understanding what he is.” J. Krishnamurti

Change isn’t brought about by idealism. I didn’t get to be successful because I was an idealist. I am successful because I’m a realist. I don’t resist what is in front of me. I work around it and make it work. I have both feet firmly planted on the ground. What brings about change is necessity and organic growth. It has to be organic for it to have a long-term effect. It can’t be forced which is what idealism is all about. It’s a mere denial of reality clothed in a lofty concept.

Idealists are often tribalists. Their refusal to face reality square in the face brings so much resistances inside. Their focus is on lack, instead of abundance. As you grow spiritually idealism is replaced with radical acceptance of what is and the uncanny capacity to see everything in the big picture. There is no more drive inside to become somebody other than oneself moment to moment, to deceive oneself and others just to appease. To disguise and cloak, to speak other than the honest truth that the heart perceives and feels. One has become simply witnessing awareness that doesn’t cling nor reject.

An idealist thinks and thinks some more. They’re at odds with the world and the world renounces them and they fight it some more. A realist works with reality and transforms it in the process.

Hyper intellectualism blocks the path toward expansion of consciousness. It impedes self-realization. It’s the static noise that hampers discernment.

6.  The shadow is the last piece of the puzzle.   Embracing your shadow means embracing your dark side, the side of you that you have repressed because you’ve been told how bad and wrong it is. Come to terms with it. Accept that you are sometimes rude, nasty, judgmental, arrogant, manipulative, selfish, prejudiced, sexist, racist, jealous, impatient, controlling, etc. When you accept it the very trait dissipates cause it’s not being resisted so no more complication is brought about.

Those who resist it begin to look outside to shift what feels repulsive to them onto others so they are spared from the pain of admitting that the ego is not flawed. Then the cycle of victimhood starts. It’s all other people’s faults. The ego is a mere victim of other people’s imperfection and evilness. It’s much easier to point finger than admit one’s flaws…seemingly…. but it’s really not.

Once you accept you’re flawed you can now relax and just be you because you love yourself enough to accept all of you: the dark and the light. You are then whole and complete. When self-compassion arises, compassion for others follow. Love and accept yourself first before you can love and accept others.

When you are resisting and repressing the unsavory side of you, you’re going to project it onto other people.

“Let everything arise out of your awareness. And the miracle of awareness is that without your saying anything, without your doing anything, it simply dissolves all that is ugly in you into all that is beautiful.


Awareness is a transforming force. Whatsoever deepens with your awareness is virtue. Whatsoever disappears with your awareness is sin.


I don’t label any act as sin, virtue, right, wrong – acts don’t have that quality. It is your awareness. Just try it and you will be simply amazed that there are things in you which cannot stand in front of awareness, they simply disappear.


Awareness functions almost like magic.” ~Osho

When somebody triggers you it’s because you reject that part of you that you are now projecting onto them. It’s not about them. It’s about you. That is what judgment is vis a vis discernment. In my line of work it takes a lot of discernment on my part so I can help you out of your predicament so I must say things about you that will look like judgment to others (who haven’t done their inner work). The difference is in the acceptance and motive. Judgment’s motive is self-deception, self-aggrandizement. Discernment motive is to help, to clarify and there is acceptance in there.

This direct realization of the nature of mind perception will bring you into a world of existence that so vastly differs to the one you’re living at the moment.  I’ll talk in great depth in our upcoming Feminine Magnetism retreat that will take place on June 27-30, 2019 at my home in San Diego county as well as my overseas retreat in Ireland in September and Bali in November.  Currently, registration has opened with early bird specials ($500 OFF for my home and $1000 OFF for Ireland and Bali).  Reserve your seat cause seats are limited.

All meals are included, cooked by a gourmet chef.  This is a rare opportunity to really explore your true nature in an idyllic, tranquil and safe environment in which you’ll be accepted as you are.  You will learn self-acceptance and how to heal your split mind that creates so much discord and anguish in your life.  The very wounds that prevent you from having a healthy relationship because so long you aren’t balanced you’re going to always project your repressed/denied broken self on others, especially your partner.  The notion and insights of salvation through relationship (as part of online Feminine Magnetism group coaching) will also be introduced in this very deep retreat.

And of course we’ll have some night of fun as well on the Saturday or Sunday.  Enjoy free socializing in the hot tub (bring your swimming costume), free flowing of champagne and (live) music.

The early bird specials will end when the 5 people quota has been met.

Rest and recharge and be prepared to walk away with a new pair of glasses.  You will learn so much self-mastery in this retreat you will want to come every year.

Sign up for the one-of-a-kind retreat here.

Learn more the difference between judgment and discernment in this class: How To Observe Your Reactions And Heal Your Inner Wounds In The Process.

When you’re ready to learn the ins and outs of being a master to your own mind, sign up for Module 1 Feminine Magnetism: Journey Inward.  This knowledge will change the way you see the world FOREVER.  Your life will turn upside down.  Love, abundance, wealth, success and peace will come your way.

You want to learn more of this sacred knowledge that will bring you more understanding of men, love, relationship and in the process more peace of mind?  There are a few options you can do (pick two or all of them):

1. Sign up for my newsletter, and you will receive three first chapters of my ground-breaking ebook and a free class on how to overcome your anxiety and triggers without pushing him away.

2. Add yourself to one of my fabulous FB support groups: Katarina Phang’s High Value Goddess Community.  My groups aren’t moderated and it’s what sets them apart, believe it or not!  Transformation happens gradually or fast (depending on where you are in your journey) because you are forced to see your own reflection in every member that stirs a strong emotional reaction in you.  The groups make you AWARE and AWAKE, that’s the entire purpose of my teachings.  It can’t be done when you are being coddled in a fake environment of safety (you don’t get that in the real world out there either but you will learn to cope as a healthy and well-adjusted adult).  Any wonder I’m the one coach with the most results out there?  It’s thanks to this, among other things.

3. Download my Apps: Android and/or IPhone and you can access all the free and paid contents from there.

4. Subscribe to this blog on the upper right hand corner of this page.

5. Follow me on FB and like my page, so you will know when I have FREE classes with juicy content and teachings on FB live videos.  I give away so much free content because I know the impact I have on humanity as a whole.

6. Subscribe to my youtube channel.  I’ll eventually add all my free classes/videos there.

7. Sign up for my magnificent Feminine Magnetism Group Coaching consisting of 27 weeks (approximately 54 hours of learning), particularly Module 1 Journey Inward and Module 5 Salvation Through Relationship.  You will accelerate your growth with this one-of-kind profound program not being offered anywhere else. Begin the journey toward equanimity and self-acceptance.

8. Come to my celestial home for the upcoming retreat.  We’ll have at least twice a year/retreats.  If you like to listen to my speeches, you’ll be even more blown-away to sit with me in my living room (the Zen room) overlooking the celestial infinity pool in an intimate setting while I’m delivering my teachings.  You’ll come home with a new more empowered perspective on love, men, relationship and life in general. I can shift you energetically like no other and usher you to the gate of a new dimension of reality.

Please share this article if it resonates with you.

Want to learn more the ins and outs of inspiring the man you adore to commit to you THE MOST DEFINITE WAY?  Here’s the most affordable way: by working with me face to face in a very relaxed, fun and intimate setting in my own home!  And you will get some of the coaching programs I mention here as bonuses as well so you can start listening to them before coming to the weekend getaway.  I promise you it’ll be one of the most worthwhile investments you’ll ever make in your life and you will leave knowing exactly how to be a high value woman.  Your life will turn upside down for the better after the retreat if you practice all the skills I teach there.



  • Kat, your insights on the six most important messages of the mind are awesome. I reread this continuously and get more from it each time I read it. Beautifully written and tons of “pearls” .Thank you. Jacomina

  • I love every word of this article. I really need this.

  • Hi Katarina,
    I have a general observation about EUMs and converting EUMs into ‘EAs’. I don’t think EUMs are ever converted, I think that is their personality, that is the way a man is and will always be. Deep down he has an ego problem and will never commit.

    Before I knew what an EUM was, I was seeing a guy like this for 2 years on and off. When I lost attraction towards him he stepped up and he asked for a relationship, it was too late for me, I felt nothing. Now a few years later, he is married. I would not have known had he not had engagement pictures on whatsapp. He has tried to contact me to go out on a date. I don’t think even after these kinds of guys step up and commit to relationship that it means anything.

    • A lot of women use the term EUM to mean the guy they like who isn’t claiming them. They’re not truly EU. They’re just turned off by the pressure and pushiness.

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