Love Bombers-Men That Come on Strong Fast
What exactly is a love bomber? Love bombing was a term coined in the 1970s by the Unification Church of the United States that has recently been adopted in the dating world.
If you place the term love bomber in Google, you will find that most of the returned results have the word narcissism in the title.
While this is a common term used to describe a form of behavior of narcissism, are all love bombers narcissist? Probably not.
5 Signs You Are Being Love Bombed
Most women, but not all, recognize the love bomber rather quickly. He comes on fast and strong and begins to behave like he is totally smitten way before it’s logical to fall into such feelings.
1. He will talk about the future, marriage, children, relationships soon as in often before you even meet or on the first few dates.
2. He may stay in constant contact such as texting all day every day. This is not normal behavior. People have lives.
3. He may show up uninvited or unannounced to places you go, work or even your home under the guise of wanting to surprise you.
4. He will shower you with compliments and praise saying things like he has never met a woman like you or you are the woman he has been waiting for or dreaming about. He may even confess his love way before love has had time to grow.
5. He may attempt to take up all of your free time and if he gets his way, you may find yourself spending more days and nights with him than without him very early on.
A love bomber will jump into the boyfriend/relationship position before you have time to really get to know him. This also means that he really doesn’t know you either.
A man willing to jump that hard and fast should set off some flags. They are usually nice guys masquerading as good men.
Why Do Men Love Bomb
Men that love bomb usually have a lack of emotional intelligence and are low on patience. They want something and they want it now. They are filling a void.
It’s not you they actually want. It’s the idea of an idealized relationship that few women can live up to. They are often seeking social acceptance and are attached to how people perceive them.
Having a woman increases their perceived value from the eyes of the world.
This is why they often turn off as fast as they turned on. It’s not you that they are actually attached to. It’s more the idea of being part of a couple that they are attached to so that they can “fit in” and feel external validation.
If you find yourself being love bombed, chances are high that you aren’t the first and you probably won’t be the last.
What to do with a Love Bomber
When you cross paths with a love bomber, your gut is probably going to scream this is a little too much too soon. Don’t ignore this.
Slow him down, pace him and observe how he handles this. Does he respect your boundaries or does he react with passive aggression and pouting or less that desired behavior?
I dated a man that wanted to jump all in right from the first date. He would show up at my house unannounced while I was trying to work.
I explained that I was actually working and just because it was from home did not mean I could just stop what I was doing and cuddle on the couch with him.
He would back up and did actually honor my request. Then a week later he was planning a surprise birthday party for me and we had only been on a few dates.
This particular relationship did last for a while due to my pacing, but in hindsight, I wasn’t exactly at an emotionally healthy place in my life. The relationship became highly co-dependent.
It was a constant push and pull.
If you find yourself being swept away by a love bomber, it’s likely that you too are desperate for a relationship or love. You too are trying to fill a void.
We often attract people at our own level of woundedness. I know I sure have.
Though it turned out to be a big growth and learning experience for me, when it was all said and done, he was love bombing another within weeks of our break up.
The break up was painful and full of drama. This relationship was a catalyst for my healing and facing my co-dependent behavior patterns and uncovering where they came from.
I probably wouldn’t go back and change a thing for the lesson was great, but I will not repeat it. I have looked inward and done the work and a love bomber no longer knocks on my door. A love bomber can’t even see my door.
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4. Financial Sharing in Dating and Relationship, the Ideal and Reality of it, 60 mins
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7. What Is Cheating and How Cheating Happens and how to cheat-proof your relationship, 80 mins
8. Abandonment, Fears, Anxiety and A Journey to True Inner Healing part 2 with coach Dasha, 90 mins
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17. How to Create and Build Solid Trust in a Relationship with Coach Dasha, 90 mins
18. Will Leaning Back Work Now After Leaning Forward for 10 Years?, 90 mins
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20. How to Forget and Forgive After He Cheated On You or Should You, 90 mins
21. How to Survive and Thrive After A difficult Break Up with Coach Dasha, 90 mins
22. Why Anxiety is An Attraction Killer that Causes Him to Become “Emotionally Unavailable” and How to Self-Sooth When You’re Anxious, 90 mins
23. How to Handle Your Triggers and Not to Walk On Eggshells with Your Guy/Partner, 90 mins
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25. How and Why Your Sob Stories Make Your Relationship So Rocky, 90 mins
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26. Goddess Interview: Laura, How She Heals Her Anxiety and Depression and Lost 168 lbs with Journey Inward, October 2
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