What do His Text Messages Mean – Stop the Decoding!

how to decode a guy's texting habits

If you are constantly asking your girlfriends what do his text messages mean, you may be over anxious, not to mention you are an over thinker.  The truth is guys don’t sit around wondering what your text messages mean, so why should you be so concerned.  Mirror his level of interest!

If the keyword search of those who land in my very popular blog post Should I text Him? Read This Before You Shoot Another Text is of any indication this is the list of eleven typical questions text-obsessed women ask about a man’s texting habits:

1.  What does it mean if he take hours or days to respond to a text?  It only takes a few seconds to answer.

2.  Why does he text to check in with me but then ignore me or doesn’t respond back or disappear again or stop answering without saying anything to quit the convo?

3.  Why did he text so much in the beginning but he nows stops?

4.  What does it mean when he text less or not at all after sex?

5.  Why does he stop texting good morning or good night?

6.  What does it mean when he stop using terms of endearments in his texting such as babe, sweetheart, pumpkin, etc?

7.  What does it mean when he does not respond to my last text (even though there is really nothing to respond to)?

8.  I have sent 3 unanswered texts, when can I text again?

9.  Why does he always leave the convo without saying anything (I wish it would go on forever)?

10. My text has been seen and he’s online and busy liking and posting new pics on instagram or facebook but he’s not responding.

11.  Can I text him to wish him good luck on his exam (or to ask him if how he did on his exam, or if arrives safely on his trip or how his NYE/day/Christmas was or whatever reason you think it’s important that you remember to ask him about to show that you care)?

Read the 7 Texting Habits of a High Value Woman Here!

STOP PRESS:  The Opposite Is True: Talking Less Makes Him More Intrigued

Why You Should Not Worry What do His Text Messages Mean

what do his text messages meanGirls, first of all it’s not as mysterious as you think it is.  You are spinning your wheels and over thinking when you try do decode what do his text messages mean.  Guys will pursue hard in the beginning so the very first thing you need to do is to keep in mind: what he does in the beginning is not a yardstick you can use throughout the relationship.

It’s like all of us will die of exhaustion if we are in the state of “falling in love” forever (imagine having sex around the clock 24/7 and can’t think of anything else but love, relationship and our lover).

It comes in ebbs and flows.  Sometimes he’s hot, some other time he’s taking a break and recharging.  It’s not really hot and cold necessarily.  He’ll always be back hot if you let him be.

You can inspire a man to always step up though.  I have been known to have helped thousands of women do that however it’s not something to expect that a guy will be “on” 24/7.  He has a life too, doesn’t he?  Doesn’t he have a job?  That alone might be a good reason why he texts you less over time.  Life gets in the way.

Who has the time to text 24/7?  You say it only takes a few seconds to respond?  No it actually can take all day if we need to respond around the clock to someone like you who’s hooked to their cell!

Even if I like a guy, texting back and forth -and if that’s the only thing he does- will become so tedious after some time.  Does he ask you out?  That’s more important.  What’s the point of texting back and forth if he never asks you out?  That’s what being e-maintained is all about.

I would quickly get bored if texting is all he does and respond less and less or stop responding at all.

And maybe you should get a life yourself.  Stop staring at the friggin cell!  Stop checking if he’s online, have read your text on whatsapp, he’s busy on FB or dating sites.  Stop expecting that just because he’s online and busy doing all those things that he has to respond to your text message first and foremost.

He doesn’t need to babysit you or you him.  He can do whatever he likes in his own time.  Imagine when you have a parole officer monitoring your every move and telling you what to do with your own time, how would you feel?

And stop being so hands-on with texting.  If he takes time to respond to your text it’s because he needs to pace the text-flooding.  That’s the sort of thing I would do as well with someone who expects to chat all day.  So if you want him to respond to your texts faster, respond slower, mirror and adjust to his pace.  You two are going to meet somewhere in the middle.

The point of text messages is so you or he can wait to respond.  If there is no lag in time it’s called calling or IMing.  Even people treat instant messenger like texting too nowadays so adjust your expectations.

When you feel the urge to be in touch as in #11, it’s not that you want to talk about something important (ohhh it’s a freezing day today, hope you’re okay) but more likely you want him to give the attention to you and you’ll be disappointed when his response doesn’t indicate that so why bother when that’s likely what will happen? You won’t be happy with just a “thank you and you too” response, will you? You want him to woo you. That’s the problem.

When you have no expectation is it a big deal to wish him a great day? No, cause you will let him know that and let it go not wondering if he will carry on the convo all day so you feel good about it.

That’s the surest way a guy loses his attraction for you.  Being too cheap and easy is not about when to have sex, but when you’re acting like a stage-5 clinger like this.

Believe in yourself and trust in the process.  The less you care the better the result is.  He’s a mere mortal. Stop wondering what do his text messages mean  Sometimes he’s too busy/preoccupied to always come across as wooing you but that doesn’t mean he has forgotten (you can help him text the romance back though, here’s how).  Give him the chance to miss you, wonder about you and step up his game again and if you have leaned back and he’s into you he will.

If not….why do you need to fit a square peg into a round hole?  What’s more heartbreaking than chasing a lukewarm a guy for a relationship?  If you have to wonder what do his text messages mean, chances are, they don’t mean much of anything.

If You Keep Wondering What do His Text Messages Mean Check Yourself on the Following:

1.  How was your childhood?  Did you perceive that everyone always left you to fend for yourself?  Did you have to work hard for love, affection or anything you received?  My program Journey Inward will help you unravel that.

2.  How was your relationship with your father?  Was he absent or a hands-on dad?  Did he give you a lot of love and affection?

3.  How was your relationship with your mother?  Was she the one who wore the pants in the relationship with your father.  Was she controlling and pushy?  Did she have a good relationship with your dad?

4.  Have you always worked so hard in relationship or tried to do everything to make sure it stays afloat?  Do you believe that unless you are driven and busy doing things your relationship will slip out of your hand?

Vow to be less anxious and more grounded this year.  Sign up for my hit program Journey Inward and be a woman that is hard to forget.

MORE: Here’s How To Get Him Hooked With The Seductive Power Of Language Of Desire: Dirty Talk  

Want to learn more the ins and outs of inspiring the man you adore to commit to you THE MOST DEFINITE WAY?  Here’s the most affordable way: by working with me face to face in a very relaxed, fun and intimate setting in my own home!  And you will get some of the coaching programs I mention here as bonuses as well so you can start listening to them before coming to the weekend getaway.  I promise you it’ll be one of the most worthwhile investments you’ll ever make in your life.  Your life will turn upside down for the better after the retreat if you practice all the skills I teach there.

Have you read my book yet?  If not grab it here because you will learn so much about a lot of things that haven’t worked for you in your love life and how to fix them.  And I have just recently updated it with additional 20 new pages so there is more meat in it now.  If you sign up to my newsletter, you will receive the first three chapters.  This book is a primer on dating and gaining a man’s love and adoration for any woman.

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Image credit Deposit Photo!


  • So I pulled back from this guy .At first he was texting me good morning .We would text every day and sext occasionally……he started to text one word answers …and then he wouldn’t text me at all only if I texted first …..long story short I pulled back haven’t talked in a couple days …..he just texted me ” come give me a kiss” how do I respond to that?

  • I never understand his txts and yes I’m an overthinker! Every since he broke up with me I’ve been trying to figure out his txts without really tryn to ask him what does he mean. It seem I must lay off the txtn and over thinking really. I really like the article it open my eyes. I haven’t txt him since Thursday or seen him.

  • Thanks Katarina for writing new articles all the time. It makes a lot of sense and I appreciate the reminders about the philosophy. Otherwise we might get derailed. I always save them in my inbox under a folder “Kat”.

    Thanks for your work.

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