Learning How To Trust In a Man Is Deeper Than Will He Cheat

learning how to trust in a man

Men need to be trusted! You may think learning how to trust in a man is about getting to the point where you no longer worry about if he will cheat on you, but it goes deeper than this, far deeper. Men often pull away when they don’t feel trusted and often it has nothing at all to do with other women or cheating.

I know many a woman who can trust their partner not to cheat, yet can’t let go in everyday life to trust him to get things done, to make good life decision or trust that he honors her or respects her.  She won’t let go in the little things and trust him with them and the result is he feels emasculated and eventually ends the relationship.  Men need your trust!

So humor me please, but I am going to talk about learning how to trust in a man and not bring up cheating or other women again.  There are many little things that women may be doing unknowingly that convey to their man that they don’t trust him.  Make a man feel like a man, and show him you trust him, and you have one of the components of melting his heart.

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3 Examples of How We Don’t Trust in Men

how to trust a man again1. Liz has been married now for 4 years to a good man.  They merged their families together.  This past weekend, Liz had to go out of town and she left her husband Carl at home with the three kids.   She texted him to remind him to take them to ball practice.  She texted him to ask did he remember to take the dog to the vet.  She texted him to remind him to mow the grass. She micro managed him from 600 miles away.

Poor guy, he must not have a brain in his head.  Or does she just not trust that he can actually remember these things? Note this also borders on control issues on Liz’s part!  She can’t trust others so she controls.  When you control, you aren’t showing trust.  I can see that Carl doesn’t stand as tall as he used to. His need to feel trusted is not being met in this relationship.

Liz is operating in her masculine energy.  Is he could just let go and relax in her feminine energy for one weekend, as hard as it may be for her, she might be pleasantly surprised that he can actually function without her constant reminders.  Win win for both of them.  She then has to opportunity to show him appreciation and make him feel like a man when she returns from her trip! If Carl can feel trusted, he will begin to feel more confident to lead Liz and Liz will ultimately be happier feeling that she is protected.

2. Alison and Mike just started dating a month ago.  They have not gone exclusive and are still in the early stages.  They are spending a good bit of time together, and getting along well.  Sadly, Alison is already showing Mike, unknowingly to her really, that she does not trust him.

He leaves her house on a Saturday morning after a Friday date and says, I will call or text you later.  It gets to be around 4 or 5 in the afternoon and she hasn’t heard a word.  She shoots him a text.  In the beginning of a relationship, a man may not really think much about it, but when this behavior continues and it always does, it wears on him.  He doesn’t feel trusted.

If Mike hasn’t made plans for the weekend by Wednesday, Alison gets anxious and reaches out to him and asks him what are they doing for the weekend.  For now, he goes along with this, but I suspect it’s going to get old.

Alison will probably never know if she can trust him to follow through on his word or not.  She will never know the joy of having this man pursue her because she won’t give him the space to do so. Sadly, Mike won’t know what if feels like to be trusted either.  A recipe for a short lived relationship.  In learning how to trust in a man, you have to let go of that control and see if he can be trusted. You give him the space to earn your trust.

learning how to trust again3.Marsha and Alex have been together, on and off for 2 years. Alex is not happy in his job and has a lot of stress and conflict.  Alex has also had a rough childhood. Marsha talks to him about his job issues and offers solutions and tells him often, what she thinks he needs to do, what he should say to him boss and so forth and so on.

Marsha does not understand that by doing this, she is showing Alex she doesn’t trust him to make his own decisions for life.  She sees it as being helpful, he sees it as being emasculated.

Alex has began to pull away again and suggested he needs some space.  Marsha believes it has a lot to do with his childhood, so she talks to him, explains how she understands and makes suggestions as to how they can make the relationship work. In other words, she is trying to control the relationship.

Alex blows up, tells her to stop thinking for him and walks out the door after some pretty harsh words.  Marsha is devastated.  She won’t let go and trust him in his life decisions or in managing his own life.  She is constantly making assumptions and coming up with solutions or rather trying to control or gain a particular outcome from Sam, which is him staying.

Learning How To Trust In a Man

Learning how to trust in a man is about giving him the space to earn your trust.It’s about leaning into your feminine energy.  This is important in little things such as trusting him to get back in touch with you again. Trusting him to lead the relationship.  Trusting that he will do what he said he would with no intervention from you.

When you show trust to a man, he naturally will show up in the relationship with you.  When you don’t know how to trust in a man, he will lean towards protecting himself and hold back his emotional investment.

A man needs to feel your trust on all levels.  When a man doesn’t feel trusted, but feels more controlled instead, this is when men pull away. Little things that we do or don’t do convey this to him.  If you are learning to trust a man again, you have to let go of the controls and give him the space to show you who he is.

Your job is to lean back and observe. If he doesn’t cut it, you have the freedom to walk away.  Leaning back and cultivating feminine mystique is a big part of the components of melting his heart.   

MORE: If You Trust Your Own Desirability It’s Easy to Trust A Man 





  • Thank you for this post, love it. Regarding example number 2, I totally agree with this. However, after 6 weeks to 2 months of him asking you out every week, would it be ok to ask him out also once in a while?

    • If he is asking you out, there is no need to ask him out. Why do you want to take over his job for him? Let him lead.

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