Is He A Narcissist Or Am I? Four Signs Of Narcissistic Traits

Is he a narcissist or am I?

How many of you label a guy as a narcissist without even bothering to look at your own neuroses?  Unfortunately, it has become a trend nowadays and I want to correct it, once and for all.  Maybe you’re the narcissist after all.

I have noticed as of late this trend among women to very handily psycho analyze guys as narcissistic.  There are even numerous groups of former “victims of narcissistic men.”  Many of these women believe they’re “empaths” and their “specialness” of being an empath is why they attract narcissistic men.

So I conducted a free class on that.  Please like, love, comment and share if it resonates.

And I’ve been working with thousands of women the last 6 years so I’m familiar with their mindset, behaviors and main issues that cause them to come to me in the first place.  I read them like ABC and the minute they’re ready to be pointed out their major blind spot and change it, they transform their lives (romantic or otherwise) overnight.

Bottom line is this, whatever you don’t recognize in yourself you’re going to project on others and this is why one finger pointing three fingers back at ya!

So I’m a real skeptic of any woman charging a guy as narcissistic cause I know too well what most of these women are like.  I deal with them every single day.

They aren’t easy peasy either.  And in fact I dare say that majority of them are in fact the narcissists, using the exact same benchmark they’re using against these guys which is obviously very loose and self-serving.

Now before you get mad at this, I do recognize real cases of narcissism of various degrees, as a psychological disorder or mere traits.  In fact I have a client whom I advised to break up with her boyfriend because he’s showing traits of severe narcissism and bipolar/borderline personality disorder.  Though cases like this are mighty rare, most of them are really just women who don’t know to attract and keep a man attracted thanks to their neuroses.

And in fact narcissism is a spectrum, each one of us is somewhere on the spectrum.  Many of us are recovering narcissists or have just graduated from that stage.  Every human being will have to go through that stage before they can pass on the next level of growth.

Some adults never grew out of that stage, unfortunately and many of such people are women.

Learn more about how your unguarded mind creates this perception and projections…

However when most women talk about their narcissistic ex or EUM, the reality is they’re only projecting their egoic state of being, which is their own narcissism.  These men are merely taking care of themselves as they see fit and these women see it as an assault to their own egoic needs, because they don’t get their expectations met on how these men should behave which in itself the exact trait of not being able to put oneself in the other’s shoes which is a narcissistic trait.

And chance is they have done all the things that dampen their guys’/EUM’s interest in them. In other words, he’s not a narcissist. He’s just not into you enough after all the anxiety and leaning forward, pushy, nagging, mothering behaviors you’ve been showing to move things forward (listen to these meditations to relax into your body and feminine energy).

And then your therapist who only listens to your version of events from your very skewed perception of reality marred by very limited egoic mode of consciousness and who isn’t familiar with feminine/masculine dynamics nor have any real understanding of the things that I teach that create a healthy bond and relationship between a man and a woman hastily diagnoses your EUM/ex/partner as a narcissist.

Don’t listen to these so-called experts labeling people they never met narcissists, for Pete’s sake!

Anyone who is not suspecting your subjective reality aka perception isn’t an expert in my book. These people are of borrowed knowledge and haven’t done their own inner work. Find people with REAL knowledge and have discovered who they truly are. Only those people can help you.

This is why these experts/coaches often screw your relationship further with their misdiagnosis. Only centered people have discernment. The rest can only judge based on their own unresolved issues.

Any wonder why I’m a Lone Star in the midst of all this madness? Cause I’ve done my work.

I’m self-realized (to know what self-realization means and entails and how to get there, hop on Module 1 Journey Inward). I have come to the center and embraced every part of me. I’ve come to complete equanimity. I have come to the end of all emotional and psychological sufferings.

How many relationship coaches are self-realized?  Probably less than a handful as only less than 0.01% of world population is self-realized.  It’s the most elusive altitude in the evolution of consciousness.  To be honest I haven’t seen anyone else other than myself. That’s how rare it is (having said that I’m not saying it’s all thanks to me the ego, cause it happens by Grace (accident) but my methods will make you accident prone).

And combine that with deep knowledge of feminine/masculine dynamics and real understanding of male psychology?  Do you see now that I’m sitting on a gold mine?  This is why I haven’t delegated the coaching to others cause I don’t want my brand to cause others to have worse relationships as many of these coaches have caused.  My coach certification program will have to assure this very centeredness and it’s not an easy thing to do.

That’s how hairy this business is and how hard it is to become the source of sanity, balance and an impartial judge of what’s actually happening.  It’s all intuitive knowledge, not something you approach and memorized from the shallow mind.  Only balanced fully integrated people can do that.

Hence I see things in the kind of clarity not many see. With that much more widened vantage point, I can help every issue you face because I see and know the roots of it right of the bat. And when you’re ready I can help you heal it, once and for all.

These are the summaries of traits that can be categorized as narcissistic:

  1.  the inability to put oneself in other people’s shoes.  Their needs and feelings are tantamount and need to be known and heeded
  2.  the severe victim mentality, the inability to introspect, to be aware of one’s own flaws and toxic behaviors and emotions thus what aren’t being claimed will be projected to the world out there.
  3.  the expectations to be understood, empathized and treated with kindness and without judgment when lacking on those very traits themselves (hence the quick labeling of someone as narcissistic), suffering from the “one finger pointing three fingers back at ya” syndrome or they can dish it but can’t take it
  4.  being trapped in hard ego boundaries that make their demons that cause them to personalize every little thing as an attack to them personally or to make it all about them.  Narcissists have a real hard time relating to others and their sense of separation to the rest of the world isolate them further into that cycle of toxicity.

These are the most common traits of most women who come to me and all those make the reason why they have such a hard time with men.  And many of these women are both unwilling and unable to own their stuff so the easiest thing to do is to shift the responsibility away from themselves on why they feel the way they feel so this is why there seems to be such an epidemics of narcissistic men because the observers are the observed.

In other words, the reality is there is a serious epidemics of real low EQ (emotional intelligence) in women that make them uncommitable to.  They’re the energy vampires and that’s the short version why most men seem to be emotionally unavailable these days.

My teachings help raise their EQ…when they’re ready.  When they’re done trying to fix others but themselves.  When they’re prepared to face their own demons, to recognize their own stuff and re-own them.

Please share this with the buttons below and I’d like to hear your comments as well.

MORE: Explore Your Genius Zone So You Become Unstoppable In Both Love And Career/Business, Will Commence April 1

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Related Post


  • People attracted to narcissists are often co-dependent (and have similar traits to narcissists on the surface). Another term used for the sort of people who are attracted to narcissist is an ‘echoist’. If you’re teaching people to have healthy boundaries then you can help these groups of people. But they’re not truly narcissists. If you’re really helping people to – ultimately – change then it’s unlikely they are narcissists. Narcissists very rarely change or seek help. One of the most painful things that people coming out of a relationship with a narcissist have is self doubt and self loathing – so they really don’t need to read a post that is quite so damning. Often they will be labelled some quite horrific things – maybe some are justified as these relationships get pretty ugly – one of those things can be that THEY are the narcissist.

  • Thank you for the honest gut level truth!!! So many of us have an incredible NEED to be victims and sick as hell, excuse my French. You have shined a beautiful light on my sick issues and I am thankful!!!! Working as a counselor, I understand that 75% of those of us are sicker than the clients. So if you have a therapist of anyone that is not telling you the truth about who you REALLY are ……you are wasting your money!!!!!!

    I happened by our website this morning, I have struck gold!! Thank you

    Mary Benson,

  • Lmaoo

    And why should anyone listen to you over a trained therapist

    I will give it to you, not all these men are narcissists.

    But you seem like a pick me and call the women pushy and act like the men are innocent

    I’m willing to bet it’s both men and women that are the problem

    • Cause these so called experts are of the mind, not the experiential insights. They’re of borrowed knowledge not intuitive or REAL knowledge. They parrot what their mind studied from other people, instead what they have discovered within themselves. This kind of people rarely help. I help way more people than these so called experts. I’m a proven soul doctor who changes lives every single day.

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