How To Get Your Ex To Marry You…In Five Months!

Today I share a story of a client.  She is an example of how my methods work to get your ex back and get your ex to marry you.  And all is done without the generic advice of bringing up the talk, sourpuss attitude (in the name of “boundaries”) and ultimatums. She consistently lures him with honey and he is trapped in that ever-flowing of honey and can’t/won’t get out.  And only a very special and emotionally intelligent woman can do that. 

Thanksgiving this year brought so much joy into my life.  Not only that my boyfriend and I got to celebrate the first anniversary of our meeting but also I got the wonderful news that my client Kristie just got engaged on the day.  She came to me after her boyfriend broke up with her in January.  In June she got him back.  Five months later, he proposed.

Here’s her beautiful and moving story shared in the ladies group that made me cry upon reading it: “Ok, I had just broken up with my bf for the 2nd time in a year and half when I came across Kat’s book. I bought the book and it was as though Kat had written this book after watching his and my relationship. I realized all the things I had done that actually pushed him away when I was trying to pull him closer.

The number one thing and pretty much combines all other things in a nutshell was my expectations of him and how I thought the relationship should be once we had moved to that level. Although I was never the one to initiate any serious talk or moving our relationship further at any time in our courtship.

He was quick to “claim” me and move the relationship to the next level. However I was just as quick to move my “expectations” to the next level. When he didn’t meet them I was quick to let him know this. And I basically pushed him away.

We continued to have contact for the next 4 months. And I began to practice Kat’s teaching. It wasn’t always easy, sometimes I would revert back to my old ways, but I just kept on trying. I really began to focus on myself and less on him. He still came and went as he pleased and he dated others while I didn’t for a few months, but I just began to focus on myself.  I got a new job which kept me very busy, joined a gym and starting making goals for myself and my future. I completely leaned back (which was easy since I was so engulfed in my own life). I mirrored him the way Kat teaches when he did reach out to me.

He kept coming around. I began to date lightly.  I didn’t date others at first, although he was, I just wasn’t interested. I had to force myself to date others after a while.  Although they were few and casual I did start forcing myself back out into the dating world. I actually had to turn him down a time or 2 because I already had plans. This was not something he was used to and it really stirred him.

I will have to admit that part was the hardest because I actually had no desire to date anyone. But I forced myself up and out and looked at it all as growing and learning thinking that my man wasn’t going to step back up and “claim” me.  But to my surprise he did. 

This didn’t last long before he stepped back up to claim me. And once he did he was more serious then I had ever seen him.  I didn’t give in at first. I kept my distance but enjoyed the attention he was showering on me. But I didn’t give in completely until he proved that he was serious. Once he said he was going to move back in I stopped dating others.   He moved back in with me and began talking marriage again, but I leaned WAY back, can’t even say I was mirroring him at this point, his actions yes, but not his talk of marriage etc

Then I joined Kat’s Journey Inward class. Because even though I had mastered the leaning back and mirroring, I had really pushed down my feminine side, and I didn’t even realize it. So now I am learning to cultivate my feminine energy.

I continued to try to focus on myself, develop my femininity and let him lead. and this isn’t easy after being single for 10 years, raising kids and running household by yourself, you tend to become a little masculine. So it was a challenge for me to soften myself and let him be the man…more and more.

All his friends and family tell me they have never seen him so happy. He kept mentioning marriage but never actually proposed and I never said anything when he would talk about it. I just smiled or kissed or hugged him.

His parents came in town this past week and his mom had a ring that she wanted to give me. I was truly speechless, I really didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything I just looked at it. Later when they left I put the ring on his dresser. He teased me that I couldn’t have an engagement ring if I hadn’t been proposed to. Then he pulled me in his arms and said “Marry me, I want you to be my wife, I want you to be Mrs. Warner”, and I said yes. Of course.

Turns out they had planned this all along and he was waiting for this ring to propose to me. Sooooo that’s my story.

He just walked in the room and said, “When are you going to marry me, how long are you going to make me wait?” So I guess I need to go give him some attention. Thanks Kat, I will never stop reading your material and working on myself.”

Kristie let her man be a man and he feels like a man being with her.  She is another shining example of my most successful clients how inner work makes her an invaluable wife material in a man’s eyes.  He can’t wait to marry her.  How cool is that? Not only can you get your ex back with my methods, you can get your ex to marry you.

And all is done without the generic advice of bringing up the talk, sourpuss attitude (in the name of “boundaries”) and ultimatums.  She consistently lures him with honey and he is trapped in that ever-flowing of honey and can’t/won’t get out.  And only a very special and emotionally intelligent woman can do that. That’s how I am doing it in my personal life too.  My man can’t get enough of me.  He spoils and worships me and I treat him with utmost respect as a man.  We are both very happy.

Here are the steps that Kristie took that was consistent with my principles:
1.  Focus on what you have and what he does that makes you happy, not lack. Lack makes you antsy and upset. Those are repellent vibes. Better still, date others till he claims you.   You can bring a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.

2.  Here’s a very important point I should repeat and you should recite over and over as your mantra: he doesn’t owe you anything so let go of all those expectations, and yet nurture yourself with no apology. This is one of the most important parts of my method: take care of yourself ANYWAY you like without guilt and shame. The self-nurturing will keep you FULL and not bothered by external factors. And that’s the type of high-value women who get the men to lap them up with love and affection. Not the nagging ones because they feel “taken for granted.”

Kristie forced herself to date others and put him in her rotation even when she really didn’t want to do it.  I can’t tell you how often I find this resistance in a lot of my clients.  They feel shame and guilt for dating others yet thanks to that they feel they’re being cheated on for not getting their expectations met by the guy they’re seeing.

3. Never put your life on hold for any man.  Never cling and always in the letting-go or moving-on mode.  Kristie didn’t wait around.  He could do whatever he liked but she was moving on with her life.  Dating others is a proclamation to herself that she was moving on.  And he could feel in her energy that she was moving on and she wasn’t going to sulk waiting for him to come around.  He had to do something if he didn’t want to lose her.

4.  Only when you are full inside, you will feel safe to surrender to your feminine essence as Kristie does.  That’s how she cultivates her feminine magnetism.  She is okay with “what is” so she can relaxed in her feminine (receptive mode).  She no longer needs to fix or direct the relationship and let it unfold organically.  Her feminine radiance is what magnetizes him and makes him want to be with her and only her.

And granted, all this isn’t easy.  It’s never easy to overcome our impulses and baggage.  It takes inner work but that’s what makes me a highly effective coach.  Only personal transformation will transform your love and life in an enduring way.  So it’s time for you now to take responsibility of healing yourself from all your issues and demons.

UPDATE:  You can now get her interview below (it’s over two hours long).

They got married on a fine Saturday morning, December 21, 2013…six months after they reunited!  She said, “This man treats me like royalty!”  Congrats, Kristie.  And my other client Kellie also just got a ring 9 months after she and her ex got back together.  Read all the get-ex-back success stories here.

MORE: Why Is A Man Addicted To Some Women And Not To Others?

Want the same result and to learn more the ins and outs of inspiring the man you adore to commit to you THE MOST DEFINITE WAY?  Here’s the most affordable way: by working with me face to face in a very relaxed, fun and intimate setting in my own home!  And you will get some of the coaching programs I mention here as bonuses as well so you can start listening to them before coming to the weekend getaway.  I promise you it’ll be one of the most worthwhile investments you’ll ever make in your life.  Your life will turn upside down for the better after the retreat if you practice all the skills I teach there.


Have you read my book yet?  If not grab it here because you will learn so much about a lot of things that haven’t worked for you in your love life and how to fix them.  And I have just recently updated it with additional 20 new pages so there is more meat in it now.  If you sign up to my newsletter, you will receive the first three chapters.  This book is a primer on dating and gaining a man’s love and adoration for any woman.  You can also be a man’s muse like Kirstie by attending my life-changing fifth cycle Journey Inward group coaching in which she guest starred!!  You can learn direct from her what makes her so irresistible to her ex that he couldn’t wait to marry her.

Please share this with the buttons below and I’d like to hear your comments as well (and don’t forget to subscribe to this blog for more insight into the mind of men on the right side bar so you’ll get notified for each new post).


Image credit Deposit Photo!


  • I used to be suggested this blog by my cousin. I’m not certain whether or not
    this publish is written by way of him as nobody else understand such detailed approximately my trouble.

    You are wonderful! Thanks!

  • Yourr style is very unique compaared to other folks I have rrad stuff from.
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    opportunity, Guess I wwill just book mark this page.

  • Hi kat,
    Im ko, i had Breakup in april which made my life so depressing,we had a relation of 1year broke up due to family problems his family was againt it because we are from different caste but after insisting he agreed and we started talking and mate each other spent some time together but i felt he didn’t have the same feeling as he used to have before, he had anger problems and day by day he texted me less and mate me only once a month though we lieve in same city ,after few days we had a fight and i said in anger to stop talking as he is making excuses to meet and talk , he agreed but i didnt wanted to loose him and told him not to stop talking but he always made an excuse that his family will never accept.later in anger i deleted him in fb and from then on he never replied or called me neither got any message from him.on october he called me twice at midnight but i couldnt pick the call so i textd him after two days but no reply from him, i seriously miss him and want him back. I cant take him out of my mind and i seriously love him.please help me or suggest me something because i alway respected him and dont want to loose him.

    • You can’t lose something you don’t have and you don’t have this man. His actions show you where you stand, so find your strength and accept what is as opposed to trying to force things into what you want them to be. You can’t force a man to behave or have the feelings that you wish he had.

      • Thank you for your suggestion and im working on it , now im dating different men and im really happy and care free.i let go my past ,these articles are helping me a lot and soon will be buying the ebook
        Thank you again 🙂

  • Hi Katarina,

    thanks so much for adding me to your subscription list. I have read through everything you sent as well as the first three chapters of your book and couldn’t help notice the age difference between you and your partner is similar to my recent ex and I – Here are some details and I greatly appreciate some feedback:

    just recently went through a breakup 🙁 and for the first time in my life been doing a lot of reading about breakups and that is how I came across your website. I decided to take a chance and reach out for some advice. Here are some details :

    I’m a 36 year old female. Met a 28 year old guy at a networking event in March of this year. We exchanged business cards at the end of the event and he walked me to my car. He is a financial planner and he said he would like to have an info session with me to see what financial planning needs I may have. He reached out within a day and we set something up for a few weeks later as I was about to have a few busy weeks at work. During this time leading up to the meeting he would text and call me. I kept it light and formal. When We met up at his office, it was a great session and afterwards he asked if I wanted to grab a bite. I accepted and we had some tapas and drinks at a nearby restaurant. It was a good evening. Very professional and I got to see a bit of his personality. Next steps were for him to put together some financial plans for me to review.

    Over the next few months he contacted me often. Inviting me out to events and to informal gatherings. I was selective and would accept some of his invitations. I was actually only wanting a professional relationship with him. ‎And more importantly I felt he was too young for me. He would contact me to see if i was out and if i was, he would want to meet up. We started hanging out more and before I knew it we started getting closer. He invited me over to his place after work one day. He cooked dinner and we had really good conversation. I made it clear from day 1 (really i did. At the networking event…) that the only type of relationship I was up for was a committed /exclusive one so at this point we were building a friendship and I did not ask for a commitment because I didn’t think I wanted one with him. I told him I needed to get to know him if he was going to be my financial advisor.

    We hung out consistently between March and July. We were never intimate but got closer. He felt I wasn’t opening up to him. I told him I was taking my time plus I still viewed him as a no go area because of his age and was trying to keep things professional. However I saw a lot of attributes I liked and started to wonder if his age was really just a number as they say. Then one day we kissed but never went further. No matter how late we hung out, I never spent the night at his place or him at mine. I went to Europe on vacation in late June for about 10 days and I think that was the turning point in our relationship. ‎He missed me terribly. ( I did miss him too) and couldn’t wait to see me. I got back July 1st. He got upset that I didn’t rush to see him when I got back. But after travelling for almost 20 hours, I just wanted to sleep! We started hanging out again (still no sex) And 2 weeks later he asked me to be in a committed and exclusive relationship. I was still a little hesitant because of the age difference but I decided to take a chance and said yes.

    From the moment we were official, things went from good to amazing. He introduced me to everyone as his girlfriend. We became intimate and things were progressing well. we were spending several nights each week at each others places. Even went to church. Going on dates and doing what people in relationships do. I had a rough day at work, he took me to dinner and then he arranged for a couples massage at a nearby spa. So thoughtful and generous with me. We talked about future looking good for us as a couple. ‎He told his dad about me and his dad (who lives in another state ) told him he was looking forward to meeting me.

    One day after a nice evening out, about two months into the relationship ‎he asks me how I’m feeling about the relationship. I said i felt things were going great. I asked how he felt. His answer hit me like a sucker punch in the gut! He said I’m enjoying you but not enjoying the way the commitment feels. He doesn’t feel as free. Once I got over my initial shock, I’m PISSED! He wanted a commitment so what the hell is he saying??. I hate uncertainty. I hate gray areas. I hate being in limbo. I kinda made it through my day. And we met up that weekend to talk some more. Nothing got resolved. He was going to be travelling for the next two weeks so he said we should meet up and talk when he got back.

    At the beginning of the two weeks he would text me the usual ‘How’s your day ‘ good morning. I eventually told him we should use the time apart to think about what we want and limit communication. He said ok.

    Two weeks ends. We meet up to talk. In conclusion he said he didn’t know if he still wanted a commitment. I told him I didn’t sign up for this so sounded like our relationship is over. He said why are you so black and white. Let’s treat this as a detour and change in direction. Blah blah. I told him that ‎I made it clear what I wanted from day 1 : commitment. I didn’t force him into one. HE asked me for one. I asked him why would you ask me for a commitment and then take it back 2 months later? He said I embodied what he wants in a partner – successful, independent, beautiful so he felt he had to lock me down. Now he realizes he is not mentally ready. So I walked away. I let him go as much as it hurts. It’s been about two weeks since we broke up. We exchanged text messages on day 3 and 4 after the break up. He texted me on day 5 wanting to know the real reason I was upset about the breakup. Was it 1) because I had fallen in love with him and if so he feels horrible or 2) if it’s because the agenda for a life long partnership didn’t stay on pace, and if so since he is not mentally ready for that, he wouldn’t feel as bad. But regardless that he was sad that I was sad.

    I didn’t respond to his text and effectively started no contact. It’s been about 10 days since my last contact with him. He hasn’t contacted me since his last text. It’s been tough but I’m taking care of me, work is busy. I’m keeping up with my workouts, yoga and hanging out with friends and family.

    I want to note I never did get around to signing up for any of the financial plans he sent me.

    I am not waiting around for him to work through his commitment issues but I need some insight:

    – should i have done anything differently?
    – I am doing no contact to get over him. I do not think I can be, nor do I want to be just friends with him so do I continue to ignore if he contacts me?
    – i miss him terribly and i still have feelings for him so If he comes back and says he does want a commitment, how do I handle this if I want to give him a chance?
    – based on your experience and details provided is our relationship salvageable?

    I greatly appreciate your time‎ and hope to hear from you soon.

    Thanks in advance!

  • I recently broke up with my boyfriend after a year of a lot of sharing, he being the one getting closer to my space and life, it was in a trip he had planned with the family, we had a big misunderstanding after an introduction from his ex wife, it was horrible because he wanted to fly me back!! very humiliating!! he always told me he liked everything about me, until that moment that i claimed who I was in his life.
    Please help me or give me some advice how can I get from yor words of wisdom!!

  • Hello Katarina,

    We are now friends on Facebook! Thank you for the “Add”.

    I really hope that you can help me. I was just recently broken up with by my boyfriend of 6 months. We started off wonderfully. He told me that I was “The One” and he would never leave me. (All of the things that you really want to hear and believe when you are with someone) Well, something changed and even though got along very well, with a few hiccups, of course, he said those three dreaded words- “I need space.”. He became very distant and then on Sunday he told me we are breaking up so he can “Take time to process his emotions to see if he is capable of being in a long term relationship.” He said that he does not want to date anyone else, but he doesn’t want me to be committed to him while he is working on himself. I am at a loss as to what to do.

    He is an introvert and has told me that in the past he has often needed to take time away to work on himself. He said that this process could take weeks or even months.

    He said that he cannot promise that he will come back to me, but, he just doesn’t know where he is at right now emotionally. Then again, he said that he is also not ruling it out. He said that I should give him some time, and that things will work out for the best. He has texted me a few times to check in, but he said that he just needs time to himself.

    I am trying not to cling to him, but I know that I am guilty of some clingy behavior in the past. I am aware of that, and am willing to work on that part of my self. He was also very clingy to me until recently. He always wanted to see me, and even gave me keys to his apartment (Which he doesn’t want back right now).

    I do not want to lose him forever. I have actually never felt this way about a man before. I am a successful and attractive woman. I just would hate to lose the potential love of my life.

    Any advice? Is this hopeless?

    I appreciate your help/guidance!


    • Adriana, No it’s not if you let go of all the worries and craving. Enjoy life and have my book as the source of strength. Only when you truly enjoy your full life, he’ll be drawn back to you.

  • Hello, Katarina

    I am Sally, I’ve been reading your articles for months, and I am so hesitating to write this mail to you. I think I really need help to get my ex boyfriend back. After I tried everything I can do, now I really don’t know how to breakthrough this standstill.

    Excuse me to tell you my story here, please read patiently, and I will appreciate your help.

    We’d been together for almost 3 years, he wanted to marry me, I loved him very much but I wasn’t that sure about our future then, because we had different life perceptions and no money then. I understand he’s good, it’s all my problem, I have to adjust my mind. One day I said ” Please give me some time and space to think about it, I will come back to you when I figure it out.” , after I spoke out these words, he just gave me so many promises, like quit alcohol and smoke, everything will be different when he is a husband or father. (maybe you think these are not big problems, but his promises are so important to me.), and wanted me to come back to him. I realized I hurt him, how can I hurt the one who loved me so much, so I made a decision to accept him all, love him and take care of him for the rest of my life, this is a very big change and decision for me, finally we decided to get married, and we are so happy to have each other in our future. 10 months ago, he just suddenly broke up with me, and right after breaking up with me, he had new relationship with his high school old friend, but he denied, and told me that he just wanted to be alone, work hard and take care of his family. Of course I knew that’s not true, even now, we never talk about this. I spend times to think about what went wrong. I am so sad , It’s all my fault, if there chance to be together again, I am sure I can do better.

    I have tried no contact rule, and then recontact him. I encourage myself to be confident, go out with my friends, sometimes I text him, talking about life, family and work, BUT we NEVER mention anything about relationship, because I don’t wanna ask, and he doesn’t wanna be candid to me as well (maybe he just doesn’t want to see me hurt). I ask him out, not really often, like once a month, sometimes he says yes; But sometimes no, he would say like “Sorry I have to work” “So sorry I’ve been busy recently.” “I will go out with my family that day, sorry.” Otherwise if we meet up, he is so nice, maybe touches my face or hair. Sometimes I prepare gifts for him (like birthday present, Christmas present and other big days), I can see he’s really happy taking the gifts. We can talk happily and promise to meet up next time at the end of the dating. BUT after we go home, he’s just like disappear and never contact me actively, even though he accepts my gifts, he has still no text, no phone call actively. I really don’t understand.

    I know I cannot be upset, sad or depressed, so I always be sweet, tender and considerate to him. But my question is, what else I can do now? It’s been 10 months since we separated, and I can’t see any signs of him changing his mind, I know he’s still with that girl. He is almost 38 years old, time is short, honestly I really worry about it. I wanna marry him, I really do, because I have made up mind when we decide to get married. Now, should I tell him about my mind and feelings? Or just keep be friend with him? And should I still contact him actively? And finally, should I open up the conversation about his new relationship?
    Thank you for reading my long story, I really need help. Sincerely.

  • Hello Katarina,

    I read your article about The Surprising Ways to Get Your Ex Back and I have to say it was the first article I’ve read since my breakup that renewed my hope and made feel better about the situation. I am seriously thinking about coaching. I just started seeing a therapist to help deal with my personal issues from my past and my recent break up. So here is my story:

    I met John online back in October 2012 and at first we just texted on occasion and then we finally went on our first date the first weekend in November and it was nice and he asked to see me the next day in which we went to breakfast and then went to his place and one thing lead to another and we hooked up. He was still in the military at this time and was about to get out in December. We continued to see each other for the next few months as time allowed and we would usually hang out at his place or mine. Then after he got out of the military he got a job in LA and moved to North Hollywood.

    I saw him two more times after he moved and at this point it was February and I had begun to develop feelings for him. When I expressed this to him he said he had never gotten attached since he did not know where he was going to end up. Well this lead us not really talking and not seeing each other at all and me stupidly saying I missed him in March which made thing awkward because he didn’t know what to say. This lead to us not talking at all and then out of no where at the end of April he asked me to hang out.

    I agreed and I went up there for the day and it was good and then despite best intentions we ended up hooking up but he was stoned pretty bad and when I asked about things in his life he did not want to talk about any of it and then when I said I don’t know how we can be friends if you don’t want to talk about anything all he could say is don’t try to change me. He ended up apologizing the next day for being lame (his words) and then he went out of town on a trip that was suppose to be for just 2 weeks but ended up being almost a month. During this time we texted fairly regularly and before he got back he asked when he was going to get to see me again. I saw him the day after he got back and it was good and then we started seeing each other again not every weekend but fairly consistently.

    Then at fourth of July we did not see each other because at first he said he wanted to do something and then when I offered choices he decided he just wanted to stay home and get stuff done. this is when I brought up that I need to know if this was ever going to be more than what it was and he said he had been thinking about that as well but needed more time. So I gave it to him as best as I could but we still hung out and he started saying he really dug me and then he met my mom and eventually he asked if he could start calling me his girlfriend at the beginning of August. the beginning was fantastic he told me he really saw a future with me and it was cool and he talked about if we moved in together could he have certain things in the house and then later he talked about he wanted to live in the middle of nowhere and asked if I would like that as long as I was close enough to airport to travel for work.

    It all seemed like I had found a long term good relationship. He constantly gave me compliments on my body and wanted to treat me like princess. He made me feel so good about myself. He even sent me flowers which was a first for me and a first for him. Things were great. I would go up on the weekend and we would relax and hang out and cook meals together and watch videos about different things and then on occasion he would come down here when I had things going on. I have to admit though most of the times we just hung out at his house and I would do homework while he played his video games. He likes to play league of legends. So although we spent time together and did things most of the time we hung out at his house.

    His birthday was October 11 and I took him out to dinner and I got him a leather jacket he has always wanted and we had a great weekend. Well the next weekend I went and his demeanor was very dismissive with me like he did not really want me there. I called him on this and we talked about it and I told him he just has to tell me if he wants a weekend alone. He is very introverted and likes a lot of alone time. When I left at the end of the weekend I asked if we were good and he said yeah like I was crazy for asking. Well then I was out of town for 3 days for work and would text him about things that were going on and he was very unresponsive which is not like him so when I got back home on Wednesday as was asking how his week was he said he had a lot on his mind and I said I could tell and do you want to talk about it. He said I guess so I called him and he then proceeded to break up with me over the phone saying he were too different and he did not see a future for us.

    I was not okay with him braking up with me over the phone so we met that Friday to talk face to face and he told me how he was terrified of commitment and he didn’t know what he wanted and where we was going and he didn’t want to drag me through that and he sees his parents being miserable in their marriage and how his brother can never do anything and he is so scared of being trapped and not being able to do what he wants. It end on a good not but it was not easy to just forget him. The following weekend would have been 1 year from our first date and it hit me hard so I said I wanted to see him and he agreed and we just hung out and he was showed vulnerability about being scared and needing time and I ended up staying the night and we hooked up. After this I had hopes of us getting back together but it did not happen and I know part of it was me over sharing with novel messages of my emotions and feels on the situation but I never blamed him for any of it.

    Well then he stated if we hang out and see each other we are not really broken up and he doesn’t want a serious relationship right now. we still sort of exchanged messages and emails of different articles we thought the other person would find interesting but I tended to initiate the text exchanges. Then Thanksgiving came around and he doesn’t have family in town and my relatives were out of town as well so I said I hope he didn’t spend it alone and he said he wanted to spend it with me so we ended up spending the day together and it was great and I stayed the night again and it was just a good day. He also pulled me aside at one point and said he wanted to be completely honest with me and he told me about a motorcycle accident he had recently which he had denied at first and then he also told me when he had first moved to LA he had seen two other people but I was actually already aware of that and we were not exclusive at that time.

    Then that Monday he texted me saying he realized not too many people care/like him as much as I do and he likes spending time with me more than most people and he doesn’t really want to see anyone else either and we made plans to hang out that Saturday. Well he then texted me that Wednesday saying he needed to switch to Sunday because he was going sky diving Saturday and I said okay and I was feeling sentimental towards people that day and told him how much I appreciated him. Well later that day I text him about work and not sure what path I am going to take and he then texted me the next day about it. It was an honest conversation and I don’t know why I did but in the process of this honest conversation about the future I shared that I to had some doubts about things between us and not so much doubts in him but doubts in myself about if I was having false hope about us.

    He responded with Woah that’s not good and then it lead to me rambling trying to make him understand that I knew what I wanted but I had questioned whether it would happen or not and then he just said I am at work and I let it go. I still saw him that Sunday and I had asked before hand if I was out of the dog house and he said yes and we had a good Sunday together and had fun. After I got home I asked him about spending New Years together and he said he wanted to go to a concert which I was already aware of and he said he wanted a bunch if people to go. I then said I was in but I didn’t want to stop him from inviting anyone and he just said IDK and it just seemed to go back to this thing with us where he wasn’t sure and I was frustrated and said I don’t understand you sometime and then I pretty much said I need time to figure this all out because I know I cant go back to where we were just dating and he can see anyone and I cant share.

    It was selfish I know when all he asked was time and patience and I never could give it to him. I went out of town the next weekend but I already knew where my heart stood so I asked if we could meet for dinner when I got back and he said he did not want to meet for dinner and when I asked if he had nothing to say to me he said no and it lead to this whole overly emotional conversation via text and he basically just said I did nothing wrong but if we still see each other and talk we are not really broken up and he doesn’t want a serious relationship right now and I am the perfect girl but we shouldn’t be together.

    Needless to say this tore me apart and I was a mess and I wrote him way to many times with long messages about things and feelings and how I felt about everything and it was all just too much but somehow I couldn’t stop myself and I kept digging a bigger hole. Christmas then came around and he I invited him to spend it with my family but he said he wanted to spend it reflecting on 2013 and planning 2014. I didn’t expect to hear from him again but he texted me that night asking if we could talk the next day and I agreed, Well at 9:30 I still hadn’t heard form him so I asked if we were still talking and he said dammit I forgot and meant to text you earlier that I couldn’t talk, can we talk this weekend. so I said okay well we ended up talking Saturday evening and all he had to say was he wanted to apologize for ignoring my messages but they were just too much and he didn’t know how to respond to them and he wanted to make sure I didn’t hate him but nothing had changed.

    It hit me like pound of bricks here again I had let my hopes get up to have them crushed again. Well then I had a jacket for him I got as a Christmas present and I didn’t want to deal with returning it and eat the cost of shipping so I offered to drop it off because I just wanted it gone. Well he was on his way back from San Diego so he said he would come by and get it. When he got there he asked if I had anything to say since I seemed like I need to give him this for closure and I really didn’t and when I asked him if he had anything to say all he could say was I’m sorry I hurt you. Something just snapped in me and I end up saying F U and slamming the door.

    Well immediately I felt childish and tried to call to apologize several times but he ignored me and I texted to apologize but nothing. So then that Sunday I let it all out in an apology message and was done with it. Well then two days later he blocked me on fb and it hurt so much and I asked why but of course he didn’t responded and then I realized it was all for the best because I haven’t been able to let go and just stop contacting him.

    Now there is another angle to this whole mess and that is his ex girlfriend before me. So he is 24 I am 27 and she is only 20. she also is one to post everything on social media so I know their whole history, yes I should have never even looked and I regret it so much now because it just makes it worse for me. Well he started seeing me when they were broken up but still off and on sort of. Well when he moved they seemed to stop talking. Then when he reconnected with me in April he also reconnected with her and he saw her once and said he missed her from her stuff she posted.

    Well then it didn’t seem to work with them obviously and then when we became official they stopped talking completely. Well right after he broke up with me he reached out to her again and she wrote a nasty post about it on her tumblr and I called him out on it since it happened immediately after we broke up. Why I was still snooping who knows maybe I always knew he still had something for her. It made me look bad of course but at the time he let it go with me and said she was not a good person and he hoped I never treated him that way. Well somehow they reconnected during the time I was out of town and he said again that we aren’t right for each other. She had a boyfriend at the time but she just broke that off and since then they have hung out several times.

    He even drove all the was from LA to Mexico to hang with her. I don’t think they have hooked up yet but she is still crazy about him and she is planning to go up to his place this weekend and it seems like they are actually getting along really well. She stated they have better compatibility than ever. I know I am torching myself looking at this stuff and I should have stopped along time ago. another part is I also became really good friends with his sister in law and she is not really close to him and she has been there for me through it all and a funny part is she says his parents are not unhappily married so she doesn’t understand how he can view it that way. He is young and I know he is still trying to figure out what he wants so maybe its not our time but I thought for once I had found someone to really have good solid relationship with. he had most of the qualities I want in someone.

    Anyways that is my incredibly long story and now he has blocked me and doesn’t want contact. Part of me really knows I will hear from him again but another part is unsure.

    Thank you for taking the time to read this long story. I appreciate it and I really would value any input you may be able to provide.

    Thanks again

  • hey there, nice post and very interesting.

    thank you for posting this one! 😀

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