Five Tips To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

tips to make a long distance relationship work

Navigating a long distance relationship is tricky.  If you are an insecure woman, it can be torture on you not knowing what he is doing or who he is with.  It’s not for the faint of heart, that is for sure.  Nadya recently got back together with her long distance ex boyfriend.  Read her story below and the tips to make a long distance relationship work.

 

“He calls and texts multiple times a day. I NEVER initiate calls to him and I initiate texts to him twice a week, before his football games to wish him good luck (he is a high school football coach)! All other contact is initiated by him, not because of anything I have said, he just does it!!

Tonight, while on the phone, he said that he “absolutely adores me!” He said he is so happy that I gave him a second chance because I am the best thing that ever happened to him, and he was an idiot not see it sooner! He shared that being with me is different than anything he ever experienced! He says I motivate him to be a better man and a better person because I am so passionate about the things that I do! He said he is ready to put all his chips in with me. He shared that he was going to tell me this when came to see me next week but could not keep it to himself that long.

My jaw was on the ground because I had let go of any expectations when I found Kat!! This from the man who was confused about his feelings for me earlier in year! Things were great in the beginning. He was a great guy to both myself and my son. I got really attached to him and I was leaning forward too much. I started asking him about a future together, and was constantly seeking reassurance about where the relationship was going. I feel disgusted just thinking about it now. He accepted a job out of town mid relationship and our relationship turned into a long distance relationship. I clung on even more, he continued to pull away and I continued to lean forward to try to bring him back. He eventually told me that he was confused about his feelings and needed space. We were broken up for 6 months.

Ladies, Kat knows what she is doing, read the book, do the inner work. This is amazing! I would have messed up my long distance relationship with out her! I did the work for me, not to get him back, but I ended winning in the end! Screaming Thank-you Kat, you are the Best!”

And two weeks later she wrote back:

“Hi Kat, here is picture proof that your stuff works. My Ex long distance boyfriend now boyfriend came to visit this weekend. I ran my first half marathon and he came down to support me. I merely mentioned it to him and he felt obliged to be here.

What’s more amazing is that he had a playoff game the night before and he had to drive the recreation bus with the team 4 hours each way. We live 3 hours away from each other and my race started at 7 am. He did not get back from the game until 2am and got on the road at 3am to be here for me for my race. He did not ever sleep that night, he got a 5 hour energy drink and coffee and jumped on the road.

He was so awesome and attentive the entire weekend. Sex was even more amazing. I could feel his passion. I definitely have more inner work to do but thank you for your book ,FB group.and of course your tips to make a long distance relationship work.  It has helped me get this far with him.

I can’t thank you enough. Not only did I get my guy back, but I am a more confident and self-assured woman.”

I’m not a fan of a long distance relationship (LDR).  Though it may work in certain circumstances and when he has a plan on what to do to make the relationship work like what my client Chelsea experienced with her fiancé who just recently proposed, it is tough to navigate in general, especially if you are an anxious wreck to begin with.  But sometimes we can’t help who we fall for or want to be with and if that’s the case my word of advice is don’t worry about being exclusive.  In fact be grateful that you are not! That is one of my top tips to make a long distance relationship work.

So getting all anxious and asking him where this relationship is going and when he will Skype or visit you again or why he never says hello on IM, FB, instagram, whatsapp knowing he’s online and so forth only creates a torture mechanism for yourself. It’s also very controlling behavior and long distance relationships are tough enough without you being controlling.

5 Tips to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work

How to cope with long distance relationships

1.  Do not expect him to be exclusive.  It’s not what it’s cracked up to be anyway if you are long distance.  You don’t want to be in the exclusivity trap just because you think he’s so awesome and will make a trophy boyfriend.  A lot of women get all excited about exclusivity only to realize that he can only offer you crumbs and if that’s the case you might as well take crumbs from other guys as well so you can make a whole bread out of them, correct?

2.  Date locally.  Nothing beats close proximity, really.  So put him in the rotation if you are so attracted to him but keep the expectations at the lowest minimum.  The more expectations you heave the easier you get into the heavy vibe that pushes him awayWithout expectations, every single gesture you make will become a pleasant bonus for you and it’s easier to show your graceful and grateful side when you are genuinely pleased.

3.  If you have agreed or even suggested yourself to be exclusive with him yourself –a mistake many women did before they found me– and found out for yourself he’s not up for it, then just assume you’re not exclusive no matter what you or he said a few months ago.  What he does today is the valid measurement of your relationship status.  A lot will be so hung up they want to bring this up.  I say no need.  Talking too much takes away your mystery and your power with it.  Just realize that a man who wants to be exclusive with you will put in the effort so you aren’t being seduced by other guys.  They’re are well aware of competition out there and they are surely well aware somebody else might get the Prize if they’re not on top of it.  So he has to see you as the Prize first.  And you’re not if you are the one who tries to make this work with your leaning forward, pressuring and pining.

4.  If you are long distance yet it’s close enough for you to meet each other quite a bit like Nadya, then let him show it to you that he’s your boyfriend.  If you have to guess if he’s acting like a bf or not then act single.  Always swear your allegiance to yourself first and foremost.  If he’s showing much effort of driving to see you, to maintain daily contacts, etc… then he’s claiming you with his energy, thus you can suspend your rotation dating if you feel so inclined.

5.  Wash.  Rinse.  Repeat.  Evaluate your relationship day by day and never get ahead of him.  If he’s slacking, instead of nagging about it, you put yourself out there again.  Keeping the options open till such day when it’s clear that he wants you and only you and prioritizes you is always the sanest and safest course of actions you can and should take.  It’s drama-free as well and only in drama-free zone you see things with such clarity, whether or not you two are as related as you would like to believe, or if he’s the right guy for you.

And here’s the good news: Nadya and around seven other ladies who have got their exes back were in this call: How These Women Got Their Exes Back.  This is a part of our ongoing monthly membership program in which every member will get two classes each month and a special member rate for all previous classes.  This is a unique program in which every subject will be dissected and not only that, you will also hear first hand from those who successfully turned their love lives around either by getting claimed, married, engaged, their exes back or just overcome main issues in their relationships on how they do it by using my method.

So sign up for the Feminine Goddess Enlightened Relationship monthly membership today and get on the journey of correcting your mistakes and attract the love of your life back into your life!

MORE: Now He’s Back And Hooked, Keep Him Hooked With The Seductive Power Of Language Of Desire: Dirty Talk

Have you read my book yet?  If not grab it here because you will learn so much about a lot of things that haven’t worked for you in your love life and how to fix them.  And I have just recently updated it with additional 20 new pages so there is more meat in it now.  If you sign up to my newsletter, you will receive the first three chapters.  This book is a primer on dating and gaining a man’s love and adoration for any woman.

Please share this with the buttons below and I’d like to hear your comments as well (and don’t forget to subscribe to this blog for more insight into the mind of men on the right side bar so you’ll get notified for each new post).

Image credit Deposit Photo!

Related Post

6 comments

  • Thanks. And what about the first part of my question? He visits very often (as this is where his family is) and has to work in the Gulf for another 3 years only. After that he said that he will move back to India. How do I get him to open up to me? To want to Skype and call me, you know? Before he left he himself came to see me and said that he’ll miss me.

  • You just have to let him come to you without your nudging. Date locally as well. Long distance is hard, unless he has a plan for both of you, otherwise it will be very frustrating since you are supposed to lean back as well.

  • Hi Katrina☺
    This is Mansi here And this is my situation:
    I met and fell for a guy online, last Dec. We were attracted, he flirted and kissed me on the third date which is also when he told me that he does’nt want a relationshipwith me as his parents are religious and i am from a different religion ! soon after things got physical. i am really into him and this is the problem. I was insecure, maybe a little desperate and kept pushing him away and pulling him back. And after reading your blog i know that my energy with him was “heavy”. I am trying to lighten up and enjoy myself with or without him. We dont see each other that often as at the back of my mind i’m thinking -“whats the point? He doesn’t want a relationship with me! Religion is just an excuse.” (I know this is my ego talking). but when we meet we cant keep our hands off each other. He treats me well. I really like him and we’re good together. Do you have any advice for me as to what i can do to make him want more than a physical relationship with me? I dont expect him to defy his traditional parents for me but at least be open to a possibility of us together in the future. The reason i’m posting on this blog is that although he’s from my city in India he’s currently working in the gulf. he was here for 2 months. Now our interaction will be on Watsapp mainly. I would really appreciate pointers on how to make him want to commit. How often and what kind of messages should I be sending him?
    TIA

  • This is what I’ve been waiting for, especially how to deal with the issue described in #3. My head and my heart are in conflict. I know the relationship has run its course, but I can’t get over this guy that’s not even a prize. I need to do inner work so much.

    Signing up for the class and looking forward!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *