How To Deal With Depression And Anxiety Without Medication

attachment vs love

“Over the past two decades, the use of antidepressants has skyrocketed. One in 10 Americans now takes an antidepressant medication; among women in their 40s and 50s, the figure is one in four. Experts have offered numerous reasons. Depression is common, and economic struggles have added to our stress and anxiety.” ~A Glut of Antidepressants – The New York Times

Being in this niche has kinda accidentally granted me a mental health professional title simply because relationship brings up a lot of unresolved wounds and insecurities in anyone and a relationship coach has to deal with many emotional issues and the capacity to help clients to heal them is a prerequisite before any of them can maintain a healthy relationship.  A lot of women who come to me are ridden with anxiety, anger, and depression and thanks to those things they can’t keep their guys attracted.

They don’t know how to deal with depression and anxiety on their own or manage their own emotions and heal their wounds.

I focus on those emotional aspects and the minute they know how to shift their perspectives and deal with their own uncontrollable impulses (that are derived from dysfunctional thinking habits or thoughts), all of a sudden the dynamic of the relationship changed.

The rest is history….all of a sudden I’m one of the most sought after relationship coaches that truly has piles of success stories up my sleeve with my well-known spiritual twist to all my advice.  These women not only tell their tales of keeping their romantic love intact but also how my tools and principles also work in every aspect of their lives and teach them how to deal with depression and anxiety.


They become happier and more peaceful.  They love themselves more and with it the anxiety and depression, for the most part, have been under control.

Still after all these some people still think I have no credential to help people overcome their emotional issues (primarily depression) simply because I’m no doctor or I’m not licensed.

This is a culture that has been conditioned to believe that depression has to be medicated.  Or that depression is the result of lousy brain functions.

Throughout history mankind get depressed because of their impulsive thinking habits and the inability to deal with the overpowering thought patterns.

The Buddha was among the world’s first and most successful and famous mental health professionals and he didn’t go to medical school for that, neither was he licensed for the amazing knowledge that he gained through his own personal quest/revelation.

He didn’t prescribe medications for depression (the word he used was “suffering”).  The only medication he prescribed was wisdom: the right understanding of things and the keen observation of how the mind works and creates our reality.

These days there is no doubt of the truthfulness of his teaching as I have proven it myself in my own life.

And if I can, anybody can.  That’s why I do what I do…with stellar results beyond my wildest dreams.  The Buddha is my ultimate teacher and the deeper I go in this personal quest the more I see how original and genial he was.

However since depression or suffering has been so commercialized and deemed clinical to support the very industry (worth 12 billions/year) that needs that claim to freely prescribe all these harmful and addictive chemicals, when talking about depression people still get all bent out of shape and always refer to medical profession as if doctors know anything about depression!

My goodness, aren’t doctors most vulnerable of depression themselves? Aren’t suicides among the highest in this profession (oh no, it’s actually at the top of the list!!! *Gasp*)? If they know a thing about depression and what caused it and what can cure it, surely they wouldn’t be depressed in the first place?

The internet is rampant with active debates regarding claims of antidepressants and how many are so addicted they can’t get off them.

Even among medical professionals themselves many still haven’t got a clue how these drugs supposedly work, let alone if they cure depression.  Yes they treat symptoms of depression but they don’t get to the roots of it.  Take off the medications, people will go back to their misery…only now worse thanks to the withdrawal.

Is this the kind of treatment that is so glorified that a sacred cow is being built around it that people can no longer discuss it openly without being stigmatized (and asked for their license/credentials)?

To me depression is just a fancy word for graver symptoms of believing and being lost in your own sob stories a bit too much. It’s all the ego’s own making. Lose the ego, you will never get depressed again.

Depression, generally speaking, isn’t a medical condition, it’s a spiritual condition.

Hence the spiritual approach works much better to depression than any other method.  And it’s far saver as well.

Problem is there is no school that can license this finding but it’s actually verifiable in the lab of your own mind if you care to look for answers within first before scrambling to get medicated.

And this is so Zen, I can’t make you guys see what I see.  You really have to see it yourself.  Shut your mind and maybe you’ll see cause the mind itself is why people are deceived to feeling depressed.

Your mind takes over your sanity.  You believe whatever your mind tells you not knowing that the mind has a life of its own and it’s nothing personal.  There is no one behind it.  Every mind, when untamed, is exactly the same.

Yet most people take it all so seriously.  They are lost in the identification with the mind.

For the most part, most people and I come from very different places approaching this. I teach these things to people for a living so I know what I know. Until you see what I see you’ll remain ignorant about the nature of the mind. I am qualified to talk about this because this is what people like me deal on a daily basis and -again- with STELLAR results, more so than those in the medical profession.

Wisdom/self-knowledge doesn’t need certification. It is in fact impossible to certify that. “Look I’m enlightened, and this is my certification of enlightenment!”


Because being a sheep is what self-knowledge and wisdom is not. The proof is in the pudding. It’s in the people I help. You have no say of their subjective experiences.

You are still on the mind level. I have transcended the mind. How can I explain blue to those who never see blue? Go sit down and watch your mind. Then maybe you’ll figure out what I’m saying. Till then you’ll continue to talk about oranges, and I’ll continue to talk about the blue you’ve never seen and you assume/pretend you have just because some people say what you want to believe.

Again, this is Zen. You can’t approach this intellectually or with a belief cause the very mind is the problem. You have to experience it FIRST HAND. What is your experience on this matter before you can cast judgment on other people’s qualifications, especially when those people are actively helping others dealing with their demons?

Till you do what they have done, you can’t see it. Sadly, most people remain in the dark till they leave their bodies. Cause they’re too lazy to gain that wisdom inherent within themselves and would rather rely on their very limited perception and projections.

It’s also not about empathy. I empathize lots that’s why I do what I do. Empathy though doesn’t mean agreeing with the pharmacies. Empathy doesn’t mean walking on eggshells around people who are diagnosed to be depressed and be politically correct about it so not to rock the boat.

As everybody knows I’m the Queen of Political Incorrectness.

I was in a state of anxiety for 4 years after my marriage breakdown. Had I resorted to drugs, I wouldn’t have been where I am with this self-knowledge. It was awful but we survive those terrible times when we are so sick of suffering. We’ll get over it in time.

I visited every terrible thought till I was exhausted. That’s how you overcome it by going into the deep end of every experience. Then you surrender when you have exhausted yourself. All sages have been through that seeking-for-answer stage and they have exhausted every avenue.

The exhaustion leads to humility and the realization of the grip of the ego and its folly. There is nothing to search, nowhere to go and nothing to find. Everything you need/search is already here now. The end of seeking marks self-realization.

Thoughts are always the culprits, aren’t they? Thoughts are kept alive by thinking. So when you cut off the source of its livelihood, they also stop broadcasting. The projector is broken, so there is no movie anymore.

Once you see this you no longer are addicted to thoughts! That’s how amazing how our sense of perception shifts so radically once you attain realization. You become a functional instead of a compulsive thinker.

You can drug yourself with wisdom. The mind slows down naturally when you see its very nature. When the Buddha attained enlightenment he said, “Mara, you have been seen and you can no longer build a house (mental dis-ease that comes from a false sense of self).” Mara is the modern equivalence of the ego (mind). Once it’s been seen it can no longer deceive you.


Do your inner work and you will never get depressed. Only wisdom can save you from this illness, not medication. Only the “self” can get depressed. When you have no “self” there is nothing/nobody to get depressed. Realize the illusory nature of the self, then depression will fall away by itself like dreams fall away when you wake up or darkness disappears when light comes in.

Meet my warrior/survivor client Renee

She shares passionately her own journey of depression and Anxiety before she found me:

“Listen I’m not gonna sugar coat shit. I’ve wanted to die for years. My depression was deep. My best friend was murdered. Her throat was cut. Her body was thrown in the bushes after she was drugged and raped.

The same dude that did that to her tried to do the same to me. He got as far as cutting my throat. I was drugged, kidnapped and raped at 16! My friend had it worse than me sadly.

I had PTSD. I had anxiety. I had survival guilt…whatever they want to call it.

I experienced depression and intense anxiety suicidal feeling. Other than PTSD, I’ve been diagnosed with bi-polar extreme anxiety to the point I’d been unable to function or work, etc. I tried every drug the doctors gave me for 10 years. Some in the morning, some at night, on and on.

I’ve suffered this way for almost 30 years. I’ve done every therapy. Some helped a bit but I could never get off the drugs.

I was like a hamster stuck in a wheel.

Last summer I found Kat. Signed up for Journey Inward. I’ve now been able to be completely med-free and here’s the best thing: I have no more depression or anxiety.

My depression was so bad I’d fall to the floor begging my angels to take me out. I’ve been told my mind was imbalanced. My serotonin levels were not right. I had years of counseling, 12 steps, group therapy, classes, courses, books, past life regressions, Louise Hays, Abraham Hicks, you name it.

I’ve been a seeker. A meditator. A warrior. I’ve been in a gang. I’ve be done every drug from the doctor, every street drug.

I’ve been married, divorced. Done it all over again. Moved 37 times. And finally I found Kat. At 44 years old.

She taught me about my mind and how to deal with my depression and anxiety with RAIN (Recognition, Acceptance, Investigation and Non-identification).

I’m 45 now and I’ve never had so much peace in my life. I can see my mind and I watch it when feelings come up. I meditate and use her RAIN techniques. All minds are the same. She is right.

Our minds can be tamed but you got to get out of the way and listen and try. I will follow her till the end. She’s blunt because she has to deal with some of us, masculine women (which I have been too). The drugs just made me fat and I couldn’t have an orgasm! No wonder I was so bitchy lol…

I’ve over come all of it. Drug free. I laugh and have fun everywhere I go. People and strangers hug me and kiss me. Animals come running to me.

It’s a miracle. If I can change anyone can. Drugs sedated me, that’s it. It’s not a cure and I’m telling you, people. Wake up!!

I wish I was smarter to make people see the truth. I wish I could write it in a way others could understand. I was in a dark deep prison. And now I am free and see the truth.

It makes me cry all the time in utter gratitude. Something has so profoundly shifted in me that I really cannot explain. It’s seeing I’m not my mind. Drugs only prolong this dark place and fake it.

My mom said something interesting to me about them. She said before these drugs people would have nervous breakdowns. It was common if someone went through a terrible time. They would lay in there beds for weeks maybe months crying. People would just let them.

Then they would come out of this and carry on. People didn’t judge them. They would say “Oh Mary has just lost her husband and is having a nervous breakdown.”

It was OK. She feels it was the body and mind’s way of shutting down until it could cope again. After that these people were much stronger and went on with their lives. People didn’t run from pain. In fact my mom says people new that life could get damn hard sometimes.

They accept it. Not today. The minute life gets hard we panic. Most depression will not last forever.

Doctors brain-washing people is really the truth. I’ve always been a rebel and have to find stuff out for myself. That had saved me from totally losing myself and these drugs are fucking powerful. They made them so you don’t ever get off.

And in truth there is no test to measure the chemicals in your brain. Doctors will say “Oh you have a chemical imbalance.”


It’s all about your thoughts. I’ve known these for years too yet couldn’t quiet my mind. My mind ran the show and of course I was having panic attacks all the time. The mind isn’t supposed to run the show. My soul is!!!

The withdrawal is brutal. I had to do something called bridging. I had to go on Prozac. Then I slowly weaned off that cause it was the easiest way and you can get it in liquid form to slowly wean you off. I did it over 6 months. It was the hardest thing I ever did. I had to do it three times before I succeeded.

What really helps me even better than antidepressants and with no side effects are Kat’s Zen ways, outdoor daily exercise, Vitamin B-complex, calcium and magnesium, and a good multivitamin. Also walking away from relationships that doesn’t serve me, laughing whenever I can and being grateful. Doing my inner work!”

What Renee has taught us is you gotta live through your pain to learn to cope, not run away from it. I’ve seen such meltdowns too in my life and it’s okay. You get up and pick up the pieces and live again. This culture is about instant gratification. There is a pill for everything: a pill to go to sleep, a pill to wake up, a pill to ease anxiety, a pill to feel happy.

Now you can listen to her amazing journey and redemption from depression here.

Here’s Missy’s experience with depression and anxiety drugs:

“I was diagnosed with severe depression last year and was prescribed an antidepressant.  Before that my 4 month was pure hell. I didn’t understand what was happening to me all I would do was go to work get back and sleep routine over and over again.  I stopped doing what I enjoyed doing my whole life like the simple things listening to music, dancing, hanging out with friends, going out basically having fun and being positive.

It was a huge dark cloud and negative voices in my head..I was so mad at myself deep down I know It was my THOUGHTS that leaded me to that darkness.

How can you explain that to anyone that my thoughts are why I’m not my self??!!  I hated when anyone said to me to shake it off your okay..well I wasn’t feeling okay!!

Finally I had to get help..  And I gotta say Antidepressant saved my LIFE.  Although I didn’t want any meds cause I thought it was for crazy people… and now I am crazy I thought my mind was everywhere but the pills helped clear my head.  I was thankful. .but though I wasn’t in my right state at that time I did a lot of research when I was back to myself on the 9th day of taking the pills..

I was so grateful to have experienced that it was my worst months ever but man, did I learn a lot!  I was prescribed to take the meds for 6 month.  In this period when I would go for my revisits I would ask the doc questions he gives me answers I already am aware of thanks to google, research and shit..  I know it was all a money machine.

These people have no ideas what they are doing!  I won’t say depression is not real, it is…  I’ve been thru it but prescribing people drugs just cause you guess it fits is so wrong.

I was lucky that my med worked right away I didn’t go through other more meds.  I asked him how come it’s so easy to prescribe these meds without any proof that I need them or any brain scan tests to show it.

He replied we still don’t know but are still studying it.  In other words we are the guinea pigs for these drugs.  Anyhow I didn’t go back he prescribed me something else.  I was wrong to withdraw when I felt better It was bad I had to go back he prescribed me another med I felt like a zombie it was horrible.

I dropped it and went back to the first one and so far so good but I honestly want to wean off.  I’m gonna do that slowly.   Bottom line is I know if I had known a way to control my thoughts that I wouldn’t have needed any meds.

I learned that it is very very important to pay attention to our thoughts something I really helped my loved ones with and they learned that from my experience.

I hear you, Kat and I totally agree with you.  It’s all in the mind and only we ourselves can help ourselves. They media needs to broadcast this FACT but they won’t for the money they are earning.

I stopped talking to people about it although I know it would help them learn but they shut you down anyway. When anyone complains or is negative or anything, when you try to help they don’t wanna hear it or they would disagree that it’s all about your thoughts.  So I don’t bother explaining anymore.

I haven’t talked about it in a while.   Sorry for my long comment.

I’m weaning myself off it soon!!  Can’t wait!  I recently got vitamins and I will start exercising. The only thing terrifying me is the vivid dreams, needles pocking, sudden goosebumps, hot flashes and my mind numbing with weaning off but I’m taking it step by step.”

Missy pointed out exactly, it’s the thoughts which is the culprit just like I say that get these women all bent out of shape.  And what I teach is how to understand and see this FIRST HAND so you know how to manage those thoughts before they become a monster and engulf you.

It’s obviously a process and it may take a lifetime to master it but that is the only way to deal with depression and anxiety that lasts and with no side effect. Doctors don’t know this. Only very experienced meditators and spiritualists can teach these things.

Lisa’s Journey with Depression and Anxiety!

“I wanted to share a little about my life. I have had chronic depression all my life until I found Katarina one year ago. I was using meds for years. They didn’t made my life any better.

Once Katarina said: trust the process. It was very painful but I made a decision that I was going to heal myself.

I stopped using meds some months before I met you. But I desperately needed help to find answers and that’s how I found you. I was devastated about my on and off relationship with my ex-EUM and I understood it was much more than that.

I was crying for years, found very aggressive side of me. I made my kids’ lives sometimes very hard. I had panic attacks, difficult PMS symptoms, had 9 months period in which I slept all the time and everywhere, etc, etc. All these were during meds.

You gave me tools. And hope. I was still depressed but finally I started to like myself. I’m not that bad after all. In fact I’m quite an attractive woman and I understood people, like my ex-EUM hasn’t come into my life to hurt me.

There were lots of ups and downs on the way, lots of crying but I kept reading your posts, listened to Journey Inward, turned my negative energy slowly to become positive. It was just about trusting the process.

All this time my priority no. 1 was love. I want that people can come and go without me feeling insecure about myself ever again. It’s a process and I’m on the way of happiness.

I was very anxious very long time but I made small steps, made new goals one day at a time. Like today I started to flirt with people to make them happy. I started in FB and at work. I noticed I get that good energy back to myself.

I just decided not to go back my old habits of thinking. And I understood it was just fear: fear of living, being lonely, being not good enough. And now I’m happier than ever. My kids, family, friends see that. Even men.

My ex-EUM sent a friend request in FB a week ago. I know he “dates” another woman now. I don’t want to be his back-up girl anymore. I didn’t accept his request and wrote him how grateful I was that I met him and got this great chance to change my life and find myself.

Walk your life in peace and bravely. I was proud of myself that I let him finally go with love. Thank you, Katarina.”

I won’t say medications are without merit whatsoever but the way doctors liberally prescribe them to almost anyone that complains of anxiety and feeling distressed is a disgrace and needs to stop.

As an emergency measure that doesn’t last more than a few days or a few weeks at the most, maybe, but based on the experience of these ladies alone, it’s clear drugs are no long-term solutions.

If you are already on them, please research a way to wean yourself off them the way Renee and Missy did because going cold turkey can result in death/suicides (this is why going on these drugs isn’t to be taken so lightly because the repercussions are long-term and very grave).

You too can get to the roots of depression and heal them.  I can show you how in this hit inner work program Journey Inward that has saved many relationships and transformed women to be in touch with their happy, joyful selves all over again.

Now, let’s get to the bottom of this.  Maybe it’s new to you but this is exciting!  I may be a dating coach but my message and teachings center around MENTAL HEALTH, hence the uncanny and unheard of results in the industry.  Your mental health will define the health of your relationship and whether or not a guy wants to sign up for a lifetime commitment with you.

So stick with me and I’ll show you the ways.

Do you know that a guy can be very attracted and deeply in love with you, but  STILL not want to move the relationship forward?  (I know, I know…I can sense a few heads nodding in zealous agreement here!).

Whether “forward” means calling you for another date to saying “I do.”  His “forward” decision making process HAPPENS IN HIS GUT!  You long for that ring on your finger as tons of my clients who at first struggled so much to even to get their guys to label the relationship have experienced? Find out how to inspire your man to commit:  Four Components of Melting His Heart.  I have produced one engagement/week since the publication of my ebook, a record pretty unheard of in the niche.

You want to learn more of this sacred knowledge that will bring you more understanding of men, love, relationship and in the process more peace of mind?  There are a few options you can do (pick two or all of them):

1. Sign up for my newsletter, and you will receive three first chapters of my ground-breaking ebook and a free class on how to overcome your anxiety and triggers without pushing him away.

2. Add yourself to one of my fabulous FB support groups: Katarina Phang’s High Value Goddess Community.  My groups aren’t moderated and it’s what sets them apart, believe it or not!  Transformation happens gradually or fast (depending on where you are in your journey) because you are forced to see your own reflection in every member that stirs a strong emotional reaction in you.  The groups make you AWARE and AWAKE, that’s the entire purpose of my teachings.  It can’t be done when you are being coddled in a fake environment of safety (you don’t get that in the real world out there either but you will learn to cope as a healthy and well-adjusted adult).  Any wonder I’m the one coach with the most results out there?  It’s thanks to this, among other things.

3. Download my Apps: Android and/or IPhone and you can access all the free and paid contents from there.

4. Subscribe to this blog on the upper right hand corner of this page.

5. Follow me on FB and like my page, so you will know when I have FREE classes with juicy content and teachings on FB live videos.  I give away so much free content because I know the impact I have on humanity as a whole.

6. Subscribe to my youtube channel.  I’ll eventually add all my free classes/videos there.

7. Sign up for my magnificent Feminine Magnetism Group Coaching consisting of 27 weeks (approximately 54 hours of learning), particularly Module 1 Journey Inward and Module 5 Salvation Through Relationship.  You will accelerate your growth with this one-of-kind profound program not being offered anywhere else. Begin the journey toward equanimity and self-acceptance.

8. Come to my celestial home for the upcoming retreat.  We’ll have at least twice a year/retreats.  If you like to listen to my speeches, you’ll be even more blown-away to sit with me in my living room (the Zen room) overlooking the celestial infinity pool in an intimate setting while I’m delivering my teachings.  You’ll come home with a new more empowered perspective on love, men, relationship and life in general. I can shift you energetically like no other and usher you to the gate of a new dimension of reality.

Please share this article if it resonates with you.

Want to learn more the ins and outs of inspiring the man you adore to commit to you THE MOST DEFINITE WAY?  Here’s the most affordable way: by working with me face to face in a very relaxed, fun and intimate setting in my own home!  And you will get some of the coaching programs I mention here as bonuses as well so you can start listening to them before coming to the weekend getaway.  I promise you it’ll be one of the most worthwhile investments you’ll ever make in your life and you will leave knowing exactly how to be a high value woman.  Your life will turn upside down for the better after the retreat if you practice all the skills I teach there.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *