How The Election Displays Your Shadow and The Areas You Need To Work On

Shadow Boxing

Not being able to come to terms with every human side you consider dark and ugly is why you’re fighting. When you’re divided within you’re going to bring that division into the world. It’s important to society that you do shadow work and uncover your shadow self.  Heal this split and become undivided, unbroken, crystallized, centered…, whole.  Drop this collective schizophrenia by taming those internal voices and face them fair and square.

“When my darling friend recently came to visit me, she told me about what’s happening in the United States and with the presidential Election. Living abroad, away from it all, the world looks very different from over here. She told me how people are so divided just based on their political views. People downing others for their opinions and ending friendships. Humans have always gravitated to some form of dogma and in the past, that dogma was always religion. It seems like politics has taken the place of religion. It sounds crazy to the rest of the world that a person would end a friendship over another person’s view or beliefs.

Up until now, I thought people were progressing and learning to be more tolerant of each other. I thought people were evolving and maturing and becoming aware of their own role in this world and knowing how to respect other people’s points of view, even it contrasted their own. People have taken this election so personally, everyone is so offended, so angry…

A woman named Katarina Phang taught me about something called the “shadow.”  It’s everything we do not consciously admit about ourselves and that our egos go through great lengths to project – that’s both positive and negative.  It’s insecurities, it’s pride, it’s our innermost private feelings.

When we feel provoked, or angry, then it means that there’s something lurking in our shadow.  We in turn project how we feel about ourselves onto others.  When you blurt out “You’re so stupid!” because of another’s person’s blatant stupidity, you’re really calling yourself stupid because deep down, you repress your (perceived) lack of intelligence.  Being angry at another person’s stupidity is not the same as noticing it and not caring or not feeling much about it.   If you admire another person a lot, it’s because that person has a trait that you identify within yourself in a positive way.  

I know it may not make a lot of sense if you’re not familiar with the concept, but once you understand what it means, the world looks very very different. You stop hating and being so angry at everyone. You stop pointing your finger because you can truly see how you’re pointing the finger at yourself.  What is happening in the United States is rather interesting because it is very telling about how people feel about themselves. 

My theory is that because there was so much blatant hate prejudice at one time, society has done its best to wrong the behavior (and yes, of course it’s wrong).  But what seems to have happened is that society has done such a good job of shaming it, people have taken it and buried it so deep within themselves to mean that if they have prejudice feelings of any form, then they must be bad or ignorant.  

So when the shadow is at work, when someone witnesses what they believe as prejudice behavior, they are immediately provoked.  Their own sense of shame has people literally growling and biting each other. 

There’s prejudice all over the world because it’s part of the human condition because it is part of the human shadow which automatically translates to the ego.  My FB post is already too long, so I won’t go into what that means..

In Italy, prejudice sentiments are rather open-not so much in a hate sort of way, but in an annoyed sort of way.  Italy has had immigrants pouring in for the past 2 decades.  Many of the immigrants coming in are poor, they live on the streets, some are up to no good, and some abuse the system…

Some follow people around to get people to buy cheap stuff like little bracelets, lighters or whatever, some don’t take no for an answer.  Consequently, many Italians see these immigrants as an annoyance.  

Personally, I try to take people at face value.  If they’re respectful to me, I’ll talk to them.  If they’re not respectful, I ignore them.  Italians do not worry about political correctness because here’s the point: they don’t repress this type of “prejudice.”  They have no problems admitting that they make immediate assumptions, therefore, Italians don’t tend to end friendships over political views (However, they do get in each other’s faces about who cut who off on the street..) 

I’ve learned that people are people no matter who or where they come from or with whatever belief system they’ve been raised with. Some people are more evolved than others… and that I think is what everyone seems to not be understanding or accepting.

What I feel is happening in the United States is a couple of things: Americans feel so “ashamed” of their inner “prejudice” because they’ve been taught for so long that it’s bad or wrong.  When those people feel that another person is displaying exactly what could make them wrong, they go crazy.  Additionally, they feel justified by this behavior because everyone is doing it. 

It’s no secret that my high school days were hell. Watching and hearing what’s going on is much like being in high school. Everyone takes a side and does everything they can to build evidence to support that idea or thought.

shadow selfIt’s also no secret that people are like sheep: “Everyone else is doing it, so it must be ok.”  Look at what happened in Germany during World War II… just saying. 

Here’s my plea to anyone who’s had the patience to read my babble:

Use your critical thinking skills even if it’s a cause you really care about.  Downing others, telling them they’re bad or wrong is the opposite of peace.  Know that everyone has a right to their beliefs and if the person next to you is being totally irrational or mean, just know that they’re just being who they know how to be.  If you want to be fair to others and not be prejudice, then don’t be and accept yourself and recognize your own behavior when you aren’t being accepting or tolerant. 

On that note, the sun is shining, I hear animals on the roof of my house, horses in the fields. I’m going to make my morning tea.. Good day to everyone!”

Those were some wise words from my client Emilia, an American who lives in Milan, Italy.

So much I tried not to venture into politics, witnessing the daily madness and deep polarization that has been happening the past year, I couldn’t help approaching it from a totally different angle: how people aren’t aware that they’re fighting parts of themselves that they denied, buried and rejected.  Their fight is a battle of a fragmented self.

I have been that person.  Everyone of us has if not is still in that predicament.

And it’s the result of repressing the inherent part of ourselves because we are told they’re bad, ugly, wrong and sinful.

Prejudice is bad so you should not be prejudiced ever and you need to be politically correct at all time (wait, if we have been bitten by the same dog twice already how being not prejudiced at all is going to help us and isn’t the fact that one is so quick to label others who don’t agree with one with extreme characterization such as racist, homophobic, xenophobic, etc, as prejudiced in itself?  And how is political correctness different from prejudice?  Both are about being cock sure about the absoluteness of something, the only difference is one goes one way and the other goes the opposite way.).

Sexism is ugly so we have to fight everything that defines sex so strictly and we should be gender neutral, maybe start calling people who don’t want to identify with their gender as “it” (okay, how does that change the fact that women carry babies for 9 months, and guys don’t menstruate and are generally much stronger physically than us?).

Excluding anyone at all is so wrong hence we should accept everyone who wants to migrate to our country, legally or not, without having to consider their race, color, religion, background, values, belief system, levels of development AT ALL because not excluding anyone is always more important than security and law and order (sounds dandy, but what about strong evidence that the same policy hasn’t worked at all in Europe and the social costs -in the forms of higher crime/rape rates, the decaying of the hosts’ egalitarian culture, riots- are so very high?  Brussel has reached a point of no return that the native Belgians are going to be the minority in less than 20 years!).

Equality is a must.  Everyone is equal and has to have equal outcome in terms of standard of living, healthcare, education, etc (sounds real neat, but facts are people aren’t equal and will never be equal in terms of personal growth other than that they’re given equal opportunities to succeed and rise to the occasion).

Christian fundamentalism is bad and their dogmatism has to be fought at all costs (and yet Islamic fundamentalism is being tolerated and whitewashed?).

Nationalism is a disease and it needs to be replaced with globalism (and what is globalism other than the same dogma of the opposite direction?).

I can go on and on about this but you get the gist….if you are an aware enough person!  Unfortunately, in our today’s political climate many people even those who claim to be spiritual leaders aren’t that aware hence they’re involved in this ridiculous shadow boxing.  They think they’re fighting evil, while to those who see clearly they’re merely fighting their own fragmented selves!

There are nuances in every issue and group thinkers have a real problem embracing them.

They merely see and fight their own reflection in the mirror.  The Ghost of their repressed self.

I understand they’re real evil at least in relative term and there are times we need to stand up against that.  Not this time, alas.  Sorry, folks…I’m just not sold on this particular Crusade.

What you resist persists.  As you fight your end, you are strengthening the other end.  As you fight blindly for globalism, you strengthen the very disease called nationalism.  As you worship at the Church of Absolute Equality, you re-enforce protectionism and exclusivism.  As you are fighting “Islamophobia,” you are giving legitimacy to Christian fundamentalism.  As you are apologizing for Islamic Supremacy, you give rise and reason to the growth of White Supremacy.

You become the very enemies you’re fighting.  You are them and they are you.  You both are but one and the same.  The unawakened mind can’t see it though.  But after reading this post you can now start observing your reaction and heal your wounds and exorcise your demons in the process.

Your extremism gives the rise to the opposite end of extremism.  In the end the only way to reform a society is through moderating oneself through re-incorporating the denied parts of one’s self.

Understanding the Shadow Self

Do you want to know more about ego’s penchant for self-deception?  Hop on Module 1 Journey Inward and you will come to study the mechanics of the ego/mind in the lab of your own psyche.  You will start learning to re-embrace your “dark” side and allowing all these fragmented little selves to find their way home so you become whole again.  You are never not whole, in fact.  The mind dupes you into thinking you need to be an ideal version of yourself that fits in societal dictate.  Whatever you deny about yourself will come back to haunt you.

That’s the ghost you are fighting.

What’s happening in the US and Europe today is a mere natural pendulum swing to correct the imbalance world Leftism has left behind.  The world is going through Leftism fatigue.  Too much of anything even a “good thing” is never good (if you are a Leftist surely you think your camp is better than the other and as a moderate Leftist myself I agree that leftism started as a compassionate inclusive movement that has now gone too far into extreme coddling, mob mentality, champion of VICTIMHOOD, promotor of narcissism, and enabler in a codependency, creating all sorts of chaos in the world and the deterioration of the very fabric of first world’s societies in the West).

As a proud American, I’m happy to say that our country will never allow any camp to go too far because our very foundation (the Constitution) is the every essence of moderation and Centrism.  As election results show we were never governed by one party for too long before the climate starts to swing to the other side.

I embrace both sides equally.  Right now we are stuffed up with all Leftist sugar loaded goodies we can’t take it anymore.  We are having sugar crash.  Eight years from now, I’ll join the counter culture movement to once again bring our country to the sane middle.  What I teach on dating and relationship is not different to life.  Shadow work will make you a wholesome Goddess and most effective human being: most blissful, most joyous.  Come to the center where transcendence, growth, sanity and enlightenment is.

The center is where nuances are seen, embraced and appreciated.  And life is nothing other than a beautiful mosaic of nuances.

MORE: What Is The Ego And How Being Enslaved By It Creates Your Misery

Want to learn more the ins and outs of expanding your consciousness and in the process inspiring the man you adore to commit to you THE MOST DEFINITE WAY?  Here’s the most affordable way: by working with me face to face in a very relaxed, fun and intimate setting in my own home!  And you will get some of the coaching programs I mention here as bonuses as well so you can start listening to them before coming to the weekend getaway.  I promise you it’ll be one of the most worthwhile investments you’ll ever make in your life.  Your life will turn upside down for the better after the retreat if you practice all the skills I teach there.


  • I don’t always agree with your comments, yet I do always consider them.

    I have seen how both extremes are doing the same thing. The right thinks in theories, the left in facts, yet they can’t seem to get together to hear each other out.

    I like politics because I’m curious. I have friends who think the opposite of me, yet we can have interesting discussions. We can agree to disagree. Mostly we stay on what we have in common.

    But my problem is when a person becomes abusive when discussing something. Dates, family members or friends can’t seem to just maintain a discussion without hurling insults. I leave when that happens, as no manner of leaning back changes the outcome – as the abuse continues to be hurled.

    So my question is, what shadow do I need to work on here?

    • The left by no means always bases everything on “facts” because if it’s true they will behave differently in regards of immigration, open border policy and the view of “Islamophobia.” The left though, thinks it’s the most evolved among all, which is their blind spot. Those beyond left and right see clearly how the left went amiss. If you can’t see it it’s because you’re one of them. It’s natural we can only see what we’re conscious of in the limit of the matrix we reside in (our level of consciousness).

      You will naturally gravitate away from non matching frequency. If people are abusive there is no sense for you to sustain their abuse. However, there is something about being well-rounded (centered) that you don’t easily perceive slights from others cause you understand what’s happening that people are merely projecting. That’s why shadow work is mighty important.

  • Many times I disagree with you, but I listen none the less. I have seen how both sides are doing the same thing politically. The right seems to focus on theories, the left on facts, yet neither listens to the other.
    I have always been a political character, out of sheer curiosity. I too feel that political correctness has gone too far, yet I can see why it began.
    My biggest complaint that I’ve encountered is the insults that are slung. I’ve been insulted continuously by my family, so I just walked away. Yet I can have perfectly interesting conversations with friends who see things differently. We can agree to disagree. But my family just has to be right, and has to go after me whenever we meet.
    So my question is, is it then my problem that my family is so rude and vengeful? I don’t believe in being abused, so I leave.

  • Loved this article!!! But Katarina, can you say something about the right leaning women who are enjoying the cultural shift away from leftism? For many years i felt like i couldn’t express myself but now I’m open about my political opinions. I’ve lost a lot of friends because of this, but on the bright side guys love it! I just wonder if i should tone it down–i get so excited talking about politics but i know it’s not very feminine; we think of old men sitting around having a beer and discussing it, not a young lady! It feels so counter intuitive that after losing friends over political differences, or at least agreeing not to discuss things with certain people anymore because they get upset, that when i meet a guy who shares my political beliefs I’m still supposed to take a back seat here!!! How can i lean back???

    • As the right leaning woman, you might want to look at your reaction as well to leftist values. Eventually you need both values to be whole. If you are too much right, that means your work is to embrace your mirror image on the left. I don’t suggest talking politics with new dates but if you are in alignment I guess that will help the bonding process.

  • This is exactly what I imagined you to say! I found myself thinking “What would Kat say about this?” when I saw how divided the society has become because of people’s political views. I have friends who ended friendships with people because of that. Interestingly, my friends aren’t doing so well in their romantic lives and I wonder why? LOL. Thank you for such a wonderful article Kat! Love you xx

    • Thank you for understanding it! Not many do. Likelihood is if you’re so hardcore in your political view, you will also have a problem with men.

      • That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking since I found you in 2015! I thought you would never write an article like this, so imagine my excitement when I saw it on your blog 🙂 My colleague is the perfect example. She is the kind of person who would get so angry with people who have different political views from hers… she would attend every protest and rally that supports her political views. She is very cynical, and full of resistance. And she got even angrier and more defensive after her divorce. Constantly blaming her ex for wronging her (she’s been doing this for two years… good lord!). That vibe is SO unattractive. I’m not a man and even I can feel it. Even when she’s smiling and cracking jokes, you could still feel her resistance. This makes me wanna get FARRRR away from her. I think this is EXACTLY how you would describe a woman filled with resistance.

        • Her political resistance is only a symptom of her unhappiness with herself. I’ve been her myself. Her politics is just an escape of her misery.

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