How Relationship Can Help You Rise To Your Authentic Power
Most of us see relationship as a place to get all our needs met. We idealize a mere mortal to become a person to go to for our validations. That’s what falling in love is all about. It’s the process of pedestalizing our object of desire into a some sort of savior to our sense of lack within ourselves. Do fall in love but rise to your authentic power as well while you’re at it.
Then one day all the dreams and idealizations are shattered and we’re back to our invalidated old self and that’s when we fall out of love.
The disillusionment then sets in…
Not even love and romance can save us from ourselves.
Then you seek for another person who can “perform” better in that department, somebody who matches you and all your needs.
Our conception of self is constantly challenged in relationship. It compels us to really look what is this pesky thing that keeps piercing us in the heart?
Take for example Kelly’s email to me recently recounting her dissatisfaction with her 18 year marriage that makes her not sure anymore if she want to stay in it, “I feel uncomfortable around him, especially when spending money. I like to spend money wisely and within my means (and to buy gifts when I feel like it). My husband though, is excessively frugal (and controlling). It feels hard to navigate this. I’m talking small things…like, it’s not okay to buy a cup of coffee in an airport, let alone a decent meal. He’d go hungry first.
So, I buy things when I’m not with him. This feels bad and I feel anxious about it (less so lately, but not for the right reasons…friend zoned). We keep all of our bank accounts separate, buy our own food, split vacations, etc. We’ve never had a shared account together on anything, actually. I also feel like a guest in his home (even though I paid half for it and we built it together…hands on). He designed it and did a lot of the work, so maybe he feels I owe him something.
This thing where I feel guilty (low vibration, ick) about spending money really bothers me. He tells me everything (even about wanting to have an affair…more on that later). So, I feel horrible that I hide my spending (shadow work maybe??). (I’m telling you though, he lives on like $20 of groceries a week, I have no interest in living like that unless I have to. I could, I don’t want to)”
It’s so much easier and much more tempting to just dismiss all these recurring thorns in their marriage as his problem and a solid case of incompatibility.
And most people (women) will just be trapped in a one-sided perception upon hearing one account from another person (woman). And sadly, this is also the predicament of relationship coaching the world over: the blind leading the blind or the phenomenon of the Unhealed Healer (I shall talk more about this in the upcoming posts and classes as I’m now gearing toward my own Coach Certification Program that you can read below toward the end of this post).
What most people don’t realize, personal stories often magnify or exaggerate “facts” that can be explained a different way using a wider vantage point. For example, Kelly’s complaint about his frugality is a mask of her own and her refusing to embrace her own frugality. Cause if she did embrace it, she would just accept his frugality and let him be who he is without her forcing herself to be what she thinks he wants/expects her to be.
It might cause a little awkwardness at first thanks to the perceived tension but if she had been okay with herself it wouldn’t have bothered her all that much and very soon her husband would also pick his battles with her… or they wouldn’t have gone this far in this marriage cause only codependent people allow themselves to be constantly unhappy in a relationship with anyone.
While in my advice I didn’t make her responsible for her perception I also encourage her to look within, to do the inner work as stipulated in Module 1 Journey Inward and Module 5 Salvation Through Relationship of my ultimate Feminine Magnetism program.
When she accepts herself: warts and all, she will stop using him as a justification of self-neglect and she will also be more tolerant of him which means her perceptions has shifted.
This is profound. Not everyone obviously can teach this. I happen to never notice anyone else who has that kind of exalted self-knowledge other than myself in the niche and that has to change.
Whatever isn’t healed within us will continue to teach us the same lessons till we get it.
And whatever you don’t own you will project onto other people/partner. Thoughts are the screen that divide reality and projections.
Then one day when you have hit yet another rock bottom you will see that the purpose of relationship is really not about getting all our emotional and physical needs fulfilled -which is an impossibility- but for us to expand enough to give us everything that we have denied to ourselves that we expect the other person to give.
To realize that everything we imagine we need has been within us all along. And whatever pain that our partner triggers has been there within us all along as well.
Our partner simply holds a mirror in our face so we can see the wounds that need healing.
So the purpose of relationship is full reintegration of all our denied and fragmented selves.
That’s when wakefulness begins to arise. We are wakeful to the reality that it’s not about fixing the external world or the other person to suit us and our myriad needs. It’s about rising to the authentic power to choose our response in every situation.
It’s about changing ourselves and our attachment to the ideas of our self which is what ego is…to the point that makes you see that the lesson all along is about the disempowerment of the ego.
Authentic power is realized when ego has been disempowered. Reintegration of all our selves equals disempowerment of the ego.
It’s the same ego that creates our anxiety and depression.
It’s the main topic of our upcoming retreat in Ireland September 9-12 and in fact one day will be dedicated to just address this subject of depression and inner healing from the point of view of someone who has transcended all mental and emotional suffering.
Why You Are Anxious and Depressed?
Basically, in a nutshell, depression is a symptom of very restricted awareness. You are imprisoned and locked in your egoic mode of consciousness. You can’t be depressed when you are floating above thoughts. Depressed people are buried under their lousy uncontrollable thoughts. They’re buried under the trash. Who can be happy in that state of being?
So the nature of the mind has to be seen for you not to be under its spell. Like Santa doesn’t have any more power over you when you know he’s fictitious. The mind is fictitious. Once it’s seen it can no longer build a colony of suffering. It can’t build a house no more as per the Buddha.
The only way to transcend suffering is to transcend the mind because the mind is the seat of the ego. Disempowered ego simply means a keen and awake mind, the mind that only appears upon being summoned cause its true nature has been seen.
I’m inviting you as my existing clients to get the taste of what I’m talking about. Come to Ireland with me and how is the best way to spend your summer but a weekend getaway dissecting the depth -as well as shallowness- of your own mind space?
Meditations Instead of Medications
There are better ways dealing with your neuroses than being sedated. Meditations are basically looking within or the journey inward…into the nuts and bolts of what makes your delusions.
I say delusions because they only exist in your head.
My inner work program Journey Inward has helped many women deal with their own anxiety and depression. Take this one from Laura as the most recent example:
“Two years ago, I was full of anxiety and depression so much so that I had mental health social workers, and they wanted to commit me to a psychiatric hospital.
I’m scared of hospitals, and my anxiety was so bad that I struggled to leave the house for years, so I ate and put on so much weight. I then got depressed about being fat then I used to eat more to mask the depression so it became a vicious circle. The doctor tried to get me to take lots of medication.
I was alive but not living.
One day I randomly searched on Google about a guy I liked and thought was emotionally unavailable, and it led me to Katarina. I then purchased Journey Inward, and to be honest, I thought blah I bet it won’t be any good as everything that I tried, and that had promised to help with my anxiety and depression had failed to work.
I will admit when I first started Journey Inward, I found it a bit difficult to get into it, but it did get easier as it was a new way of living, healing and not thinking, and it completely changed my life, my anxiety and depression improved so much that it amazed my doctors and mental health social workers.
My social workers closed my case, and my admission to a psychiatric hospital was canceled, and I’m not on any medication whatsoever.
I’m not saying I am perfect as I do slip into some old ways but I recognize the signs and when I’m overthinking so I then just redo Journey inward, and It puts me right back on track.
For Journey Inward to work you have to keep redoing it, and I tried just using mindfulness on its own, but it didn’t work for me without Journey Inward as well.
Katarina thank you, I now have confidence, I’ve lost 157 lbs, and I have my life back. I have gone from being a recluse that was scared of my own shadow and full of loneliness, anxiety and depression, to a woman that loves going out and is no longer depressed and anxious, and I have my spark back again,
I am now alive and I’m damn well living life to its fullest. xxx”
Judgment Vs. Discernment
“The difference between the ego’s projection and the Holy Spirit’s extension is very simple. The ego projects to exclude, and therefore to deceive. The Holy Spirit extends by recognizing Himself in every mind, and thus perceives them as one. Nothing conflicts in this perception, because what the Holy Spirit perceives is all the same. Wherever He looks He sees Himself, and because He is united He offers the whole Kingdom always. This is the one message God gave to Him and for which He must speak, because that is what He is. The peace of God lies in that message, and so the peace of God lies in you. The great peace of the Kingdom shines in your mind forever, but it must shine outward to make you aware of it.
The Holy Spirit was given you with perfect impartiality, and only by recognizing Him impartially can you recognize Him at all. The ego is legion, but the Holy Spirit is One. No darkness abides anywhere in the Kingdom, but your part is only to allow no darkness to abide in your own mind. This alignment with light is unlimited, because it is in alignment with the light of the world. Each of us is the light of the world, and by joining our minds in this light we proclaim the Kingdom of God together and as one.” ~A Course In Miracles
Projection is unawareness of one’s disowned stuff. It’s judgment. Extension (or expansion) is awareness of one’s own stuff that one sees in others. It’s discernment. When you’re aware of every ego movement within yourself you have come to the center and that’s how you become a Seer.
A Seer has lost all their I-stories so there is no longer screen (thoughts) between them and reality. They no longer perceive through the mind which is what projections are all about.
The Road to Inner Healing and Inner Freedom
The wide reaching of my work has been recognized by Facebook and as a response to my audience’s enthusiasm, my page has been picked to have the privilege of the fan subscriptions.
I don’t know if anybody else in the relationship niche has been given the same privilege but to me this is the sign that the path has been laid out so I can reach more people with less cost. Overtime with only $99 per month you can get access to hundreds of hours of my discourses on variety of subjects on love, men, relationship and consciousness.
And not only that you will also get 15% off for all my programs in the first month of subscription including my home retreat!!
We have had 8 satsangs or soul nourishments so far and you can listen to the 10.5 hours of teachings upon signing up and attend live the next one!
Here’s the list of classes you can listen to upon signing up (total 10 hours):
1. Attachment and How It Messes Up Everything, 60 mins
2. How Emotional Abuse Happens In Relationship and How to Stop It, 90 mins
3. When To Speak Up and How To Communicate In A Way that He Can Listen to and Make Him Love You Even More, 90 mins
4. Financial Sharing in Dating and Relationship, the Ideal and Reality of it, 60 mins
5. Trusting Yourself and Your Intuition, 80 mins
6. Abandonment, Fears, Anxiety and A Journey to True Inner Healing, 60 mins
7. What Is Cheating and How Cheating Happens and how to cheat-proof your relationship, 80 mins
8. Abandonment, Fears, Anxiety and A Journey to True Inner Healing part 2 with coach Dasha, 90 mins
And here are the upcoming classes:
9. How to Cultivate Emotional Attraction with Guys (you don’t want to miss this class with me!!!), July 10
10. Goddess Interview: Chiemeri, The Power of Thoughts, July 12
11. When Is Relationship Exclusive with Coach Tricia, July 19
12. How to Move On after a Breakup, even When You still Want Him Back, July 14
13. How to Lean Back and Be High Value Even When You Feel He’s Friend Zoning You, July 21
Only $99/month and you can cancel anytime. No down payment of $2,000 and $500/month some vanity/newbies coaches with no credentials twist your arm to pay. It’s like therapy with a Buddha for less than $10/hour. There is simply NO EQUIVALENCE out there in terms of QUALITY, RESULTS and AFFORDABILITY. It’s so DIRT CHEAP, ladies…seriously sign up!!
Bring your own topic for next months. I promise you, you will be as chilled as a cucumber being in the commune of Goddesses and mentored by the Awakened Goddess par extraordinaire and whichever guy or guys who find you attractive will melt in your divine presence because you’re simply a unicorn. All these men will go gaga on you and eat out the palm of your hand.
It goes without saying, my fan subscriptions will help you a great deal with whatever issue you have in your relationship or life and you get to support my work so I can help more women. We’re on the path of building a commune that will create an alternative society in which inner freedom is the state of being.
Only $99 per month you’ll get the wealth of information that works 100% of the time from the one and only Man Whisperer and the Last Resort:
See you in class next week as the topic is needless to say the kind of wisdom you also need that most of you got it all wrong that caused your relationship to stall instead of flourish. And hopefully in my home the end of the month as well.
Follow My Process Coach Certification Program
Inner healing is possible and Goddesshood is around the corner when you heal all or at least most of your neuroses. Only neuroses-free people can teach you that.
Transcending the mind means healing the mind. Someone who has transcended the mind means that he/she has a healed mind.
What is a healed mind? A healed mind is a UNIFIED mind. It’s no longer split, divided or polarized. There is no conflict in a healed mind, the kind of conflicts that split/divided minds project onto the world (hence we live in a troubled world).
A healed mind has gained equanimity and inner peace/freedom which is what Great Liberation is all about.
And when you heal your split your relationship can’t be NOT healthy. Your perception will become so much clearer and closer to reality so you will no longer project your unresolved issues onto your partner that causes your relationship to be so rocky. And you will also be a great counselor with this kind of vision 20/20.
When the ego is seen and understood -and thus weakened- projections are decreased. And only the people who have seen all their own ego movements can teach you this. And unfortunately, it’s not a very common thing -yet- in this world.
I want to make it more common hence I’m on this path of teaching as many people the incredible power of a healed mind.
Thus, healing the mind is the focus of Follow My Process Coach Certification Program. You will literally be following my process the entire year (I suspect it’ll be more than a year due to the relaxed nature of all my programs). Two ladies have signed up for this all year program and they have started in Midas Touch, the Exploration of Your Genius Zone that will be on class #10 next weekend on “When It Feels Real, You Are on the Right Path.”
And they will soon intern in the fan subscriptions as well as it’s growing with time thanks to its incredible value. If you are interested for this opportunity to be my coach or a coach of your own business or just to be a healer of this planet with affordable down payment (between 2-5k) and monthly plan up to 18 months that will also include my home retreat participation (next one), do email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
It’s a $13,000 investment with $1000 OFF till July 31.
And if you pay in one payment you’ll get $2,500 discount from me (from $13,000 to $10,500).
Let’s join hands and do something for humanity. Together we’ll make a better, more peaceful world for our kids, grand kids and future generations while making a great living at it! I can teach you how when you’re ready to surrender to the process and be my committed disciples which means not doing this for an instant gratification of a financial goal (if you have followed me a while and have seen results in your personal life and want to further our journey, this program is for you). What I offer you isn’t just a few hundreds bucks here and there, what this program offers you is way more than that!
What I offer is a life free from ALL SUFFERING so you can get whatever you’re meant to get and be whatever you’re meant to be because you remove all the blocks and barriers toward the greatest, healthiest version of yourself.
Do you want to learn more of this sacred knowledge that will bring you more understanding of men, love, relationship and in the process more peace of mind? There are a few options you can do (pick two or all of them):
2. Add yourself to one of my fabulous FB support groups: Katarina Phang’s High Value Goddess Community. My groups aren’t moderated and it’s what sets them apart, believe it or not! Transformation happens gradually or fast (depending on where you are in your journey) because you are forced to see your own reflection in every member that stirs a strong emotional reaction in you. The groups make you AWARE and AWAKE, that’s the entire purpose of my teachings. It can’t be done when you are being coddled in a fake environment of safety (you don’t get that in the real world out there either but you will learn to cope as a healthy and well-adjusted adult). Any wonder I’m the one coach with the most results out there? It’s thanks to this, among other things.
4. Subscribe to this blog on the upper right hand corner of this page.
5. Follow me on FB and like my page, so you will know when I have FREE classes with juicy content and teachings on FB live videos. I give away so much free content because I know the impact I have on humanity as a whole.
6. Subscribe to my youtube channel. I’ll eventually add all my free classes/videos there.
7. Sign up for my magnificent Feminine Magnetism Group Coaching consisting of 27 weeks (approximately 54 hours of learning), particularly Module 1 Journey Inward and Module 5 Salvation Through Relationship. You will accelerate your growth with this one-of-kind profound program not being offered anywhere else. Begin the journey toward equanimity and self-acceptance.
8. Come to my celestial home for the upcoming retreat. We’ll have at least twice a year/retreats. If you like to listen to my speeches, you’ll be even more blown-away to sit with me in my living room (the Zen room) overlooking the celestial infinity pool in an intimate setting while I’m delivering my teachings. You’ll come home with a new more empowered perspective on love, men, relationship and life in general. I can shift you energetically like no other and usher you to the gate of a new dimension of reality.
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