He Says He’s Not Ready For A Relationship, Here’s What To Do

he says he's not ready

Are you confused when he says he’s not ready for a relationship yet won’t leave you alone?  You know that he’s into you, you can feel it yet these conflicting messages really weigh heavily on your confidence and self-esteem, don’t they?  And as the result you feel even more head over heels in love with him.  If that’s the case you really have to read this post.

The FB video above (please like and share it) discussed this phenomenon so common among women who will eventually land on my website (after trying everything under the sun), namely dealing with a man who is not ready for a relationship, even though he’s clearly so attracted to her.

Yuki was one of them but she, unlike so many other women, quickly wised up and started a dating rotation and soon was over her EUM.

She’s now engagement #29 out of 37 that have been reported this year (mind you number changes week to week very fast).

Here’s her story:  “I was introduced to this group by a good friend of mine who wanted me to see what I thought of Kat’s teachings. I was in a relationship with whom you would call an EUM for two years and thought that the relationship was great. However, something was off.

Yes, we saw each other every day. Yes, we spent all our free time together but something in me knew he wasn’t the one and over some time of reading others posts and struggles, reading over Kat’s book and lessons, I realized my relationship was really not going anywhere and so I broke off the relationship.

At that point, I was done dating duds. I decided to get on tinder just to see what was out there. I literally had no expectations whatsoever. I had matches with a few men but one particular one really caught my attention who is now my fiancé. We hit it off instantaneously.

It was difficult to meet up at first because we both had very busy work schedules so in the meantime, we texted throughout the day every day and talked on the phone in the evenings. I was honey throughout.

What is interesting was sometime in our conversation, he said, “I’m not settling.”

Course, I had no idea what he meant by that but I do now. He dated many many women before he met me. I asked him what was it about the other women that turned him off or what was the reason those relationships didn’t work out, and he said they were pushy, needy, etc… the last girlfriend pushed for a marriage so desperately that she moved from the south all the way to the NW to be closer to him which made him angry because he didn’t want that kind of relationship with her.

Then he met me and he said he knew even before meeting in person that I was the one. He has been exclusive from the very beginning and now he put a ring on it.

Ladies, do your homework. Listen to Kat’s teachings. She knows what she’s talking about. I can’t thank Kat enough.

Ladies, don’t settle. Don’t make excuses for losers, deadbeats. Don’t devalue yourself. If a man really wanted to be with you, he will make every ounce of effort to be with you. Don’t chase. Don’t make the first contact. Lean back ladies! It absolutely works!

Thank you, Kat. I don’t think this would have ever happened without your teachings and knowledge ❤️” 

Since the publication of my ebook: He’s Really That Into You, He’s Just Not Ready, I’ve been known to have this uncanny ability to turn this kind situation around, one way or another.  I’m now a specialist in “complicated relationships” and “non-committal men.”

The premise of the book is you can turn this around by not pressuring and pursuing.  By managing your emotional investment.  You keep dating him while keeping your options open till a better guy steps up or you are turned off so you can briskly walk away without any drama and heartache.

Yuki did that (she was turned off first).  I did that (another man stepped up and claimed me).  Either works.

One way or another you’ll come out on top.

This intermittent reenforcement creates the impression in your brain that you are so deeply in love with this man.  It’s the anxiety that tricks your brain to think that!  Hence bring awareness when you are under this anxiety attack.  Don’t let the smoke get in your eyes.  Care less, so he would care more.

Then you read it out there in the juggernaut that when a man says he’s not ready for or doesn’t want a relationship it means he’s not ready for or doesn’t want a relationship *with you.*

My track record has shown that to be FALSE.

So don’t listen to them, instead hurry dwell in my ebook.  It’s going to be an investment that will change your life forever. You really need to understand the principles that work with men.  There are tons of women in my group who have married or are having babies with these EUMs.  Nothing is impossible in the Katarina Realm.

With my teachings you will be a high value woman that possesses the seven traits.

He’s not ready because one of these reasons:

  1.  You’re too clingy and over eager.  He doesn’t have the chance to catch himself missing you
  2.  He’s just out of a long-term relationship and wants to take things slow or be single for a while.
  3.  He’s not over his ex.
  4.  He’s scared of losing his freedom so show him that you love your freedom as well.

Good luck and let me know how it works.

Please share this with the buttons below and I’d like to hear your comments as well.

MORE: You Feel Friendzoned?  Worry Not, Do This To Reverse It.

You want to learn more of this sacred knowledge that will bring you more understanding of men, love, relationship and in the process more peace of mind?  There are a few options you can do (pick two or all of them):

1. Sign up for my newsletter, and you will receive three first chapters of my ground-breaking ebook and a free class on how to overcome your anxiety and triggers without pushing him away.

2. Add yourself to one of my fabulous FB support groups: Katarina Phang’s High Value Goddess Community.  My groups aren’t moderated and it’s what sets them apart, believe it or not!  Transformation happens gradually or fast (depending on where you are in your journey) because you are forced to see your own reflection in every member that stirs a strong emotional reaction in you.  The groups make you AWARE and AWAKE, that’s the entire purpose of my teachings.  It can’t be done when you are being coddled in a fake environment of safety (you don’t get that in the real world out there either but you will learn to cope as a healthy and well-adjusted adult).  Any wonder I’m the one coach with the most results out there?  It’s thanks to this, among other things.

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6. Subscribe to my youtube channel.  I’ll eventually add all my free classes/videos there.

7. Sign up for my magnificent Feminine Magnetism Group Coaching consisting of 27 weeks (approximately 54 hours of learning), particularly Module 1 Journey Inward and Module 5 Salvation Through Relationship.  You will accelerate your growth with this one-of-kind profound program not being offered anywhere else. Begin the journey toward equanimity and self-acceptance.

8. Come to my celestial home for the upcoming retreat.  We’ll have at least twice a year/retreats.  If you like to listen to my speeches, you’ll be even more blown-away to sit with me in my living room (the Zen room) in an intimate setting while I’m delivering my teachings.  You’ll come home with a new more empowered perspective on love, men, relationship and life in general. I can shift you energetically like no other and usher you to the gate of a new dimension of reality.

Please share this with the buttons below (and don’t forget to subscribe to this blog for more insight into the mind of men on the right side bar so you’ll get notified for each new post).

Image purchased from Deposit Photos


  • Hi Katarina, I’m in a situation where the guy says he doesn’t want a relationship with me and he doesn’t see a future with me. But he’s messaging me, meeting up with me, kissing, holding hands, etc. I do want him, but since he said that. He does talk to other women which I’m not very fond of either. Should I just drop him? or what do you suggest?

    • Also, we’ve gotten into arguments. He pulls away and we don’t speak for days/weeks, I always think this is it, he’s not coming back. But he does. We’ve established to go on a break of no contact for an indefinite amount of time once school rolls around because we’ve been on and off for 1.5 years. He says it’ll help us gain perspective.

      btw, we’re exes

  • Katarina, i thoroughly enjoyed reading your article you have laid out some great for all women who are in the similar situation when the guy is not ready to make it official!

  • Dominique Tuiza

    Hey Katrina,
    There’s this guy I like but I did something that made him, back away from our relationship. I don’t know what to do. I just need to know if there’s a way to fix this. He told me im still young, and that he wants to find that girl that “fits” him.

    • What did you do? Yes my method is going to fix a lot of mistakes you have done. Why don’t you start with my ebook? You’ll get an excellent support in my transformational FB secret group as well.

  • Hi Katarina, I have been seeing this guy for 6 months now. 3 months after we met we had a conversation about where things were going. During that conversation he said he wasn’t in the space to commit but enjoyed my company and wanted to continue seeing me and see how things go. He wasn’t seeing anyone else at this moment in time, but we both agreed to let eachother know if the other is seeing someone else.

    Fast forward 3 months, he called me one night ( we usually speak every night, he calls me ). On this night he told me his met someone and has Plans to have some dates with her. He maintains that his still not ready to commit to anyone.
    But he cares about me and thinks that we both share a connection that is not easy to find. I agree that we have a great bond both inside and outside of the bedroom. We both have similar sense of humour, lots in common. He would usually plan things in advance with me, sometimes for events that are months away.

    Just to add, although his dating someone else ( he says it’s premature and may not go anywhere) he maintains that he does not want to lose me, he cares about me and even if I decided to not see him again he would like to still be in my life as a friend. Having said that he has no plans to stop seeing me unless I say I don’t want to see him. He said although losing me will upset him he wants me to know that if I feel that is what is good for me then he will understand and respect that.

    I don’t want to pressure him to commit to me because I would like that to come from him but I also fear losing him to someone else.

    Katarina, you give great advice would do you recommend that I do? I have been reading your blogs and you d done some amazing work.

    • Put him in your rotation so you can mirror him. Enjoy him with many other guys so he can pace the relating. You just need to respond to guys’ initiations. Get the ebook and do it right from the get go.

  • Hey Kat, you said to keep you posted so here I am with an update 🙂 He finally came back in town and he took me on this amazing date where the connection was just unbelievable for both of us. When we were on the date, out of the blue he said he is having this “inner struggle” inside of him because he likes me so much but then he is not ready for a long-term relationship right now, and that he is worried that by the time he is ready I might have snatched up by someone else. My heart sank a bit when I heard that but I caught my ego soon enough before I let it ruin the evening. I didn’t really say much besides “ok I understand.” Somewhere in the evening he started bringing up his previous relationships where he said his former girlfriends “always moved themselves in” after dating for a while. Ah, I was thinking “no wonder he never got the chance to fall in love with them.” Thank you Kat for teaching us to be a high-value woman so we will never fall into this trap of “moving ourselves in” uninvited lol. Honestly, if in the past a guy told me in the middle of an amazing date that he is not ready for a long-term relationship i’d become so upset and cold and distant. Thanks for your teaching Kat so I got to work on myself these past two years and now I’m not fazed by anything the guy says cos I know I can handle any emotion I feel. I continued to be honey throughout the evening and the next day he texted: “I’m still thinking about last night and smiling to myself. I must look like a crazy person now!”

    I love how you teach us to manage our own emotions and expectations instead of worrying about the guy. I read your book again just before I went to see him and I read it again after the date to keep me grounded. This guy is an amazing self-growth opportunity for me and thank you for letting me see that, Kat! 🙂 xoxo

  • I did! And it explains men’s behaviors so well without making them the “bad guy” like so many female coaches do out there (eg. Calling them “assclowns” etc). I’ve learned to let go of expectations like you said in the book, and I’m pleasantly surprised by the results. All these expectations that I used to have were like these bars on a cage that kept boxing me in. I felt so narrow in my being that’s why I was so easily triggered and reactive in my behavior. Thanks for all your valuable insights Kat!

  • Kat, this is golden. I came across your teaching two and a half years ago when my ex broke up with me and you’re the ONLY dating coach out there who incorporates the teaching of letting go of expectations and surrendering to the now. And what you said in this post is SO TRUE. I can attest to that. I met this guy a month or so ago and we clicked right away. But (yes, the dreaded “but” lol!), thing is, he didn’t get in touch much in between dates. We had two great dates before he had to leave town for a month. I barely heard from him except for a short text and photo here and there. I always replied but never wrote more than he did — not out of fear, I was genuinely turned off (not in an angry kinda way, just accepting the fact that maybe we are not a match). When you’re turned off, it’s easy to lean back. Though I liked him, I was mentally moving on and had been talking to others and living my life. Then, guess what happened? Three weeks into his trip, he got in touch out of the blue this week. He said he was wondering why he didn’t hear from me. He said he was wondering if I like him. I think he’s probably used to women falling at his feet and chasing after him so when I didn’t he was intrigued. He also told me that most of the women he met would make him promise them a long-term commitment even before they go on a first date. I never did any of that so I guess he felt safe to come to me. I was nothing but honey to him when he finally reached out this week, and now he’s eager to set up a third date with me. And he’s been in touch every day since. I never have to reach out, not even once. I never believed a man would grow to miss a woman when she’s not around, until I met Kat. I always thought “out of sight, out of mind.” Well, not so much when you’re dating an alpha male I guess! Kat, you’re so right when you said give men a chance to miss you. You can’t know if he’s into you if you’re in his face all the time! Thank you Kat, thank you.

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