He is Afraid of His Feelings and Other Stalling Tactics Men Use
Recently one of my single girlfriends came to this conclusion that she needed to prove herself to the guy she was dating because he told her he was afraid of his feeling towards her. Oh boy! Here we go again. The perfect stalling tactic a guy uses when he isn’t sure about you yet.
This is one of many things men will say to pace you when they feel you are getting ahead of them in the game. A few other things men say along these lines are:
- I am scared of getting hurt
- You deserve better
- I want to take it slow
- I don’t know what I want
- I am confused
- When this or that gets better, things will change
I have used a few of these myself to be honest. I used them when I knew a guy was getting more attached to me than I was to him. I used them when I wanted him to slow down. That is exactly what men are doing when they use these line on you.
It’s a sign that you have gotten ahead of him and he is feeling it. He has a pre-planned exit route just in case. If he has told you he is afraid of his feelings for you, he has that to fall back on.
Here is how it usually goes down. A man gives you one of these stalling tactics such as he is afraid of his feeling for you. Most women usually go into convincing and proving mode, trying to show him that he doesn’t need to be afraid, she isn’t going to hurt him.
She does this by holding onto him tighter, perhaps she stops leaning back at all. She wants him to feel safe, but this actually has the opposite effect because it comes from her masculine, not her feminine energy, whether she is aware of it or not.
So the man starts to pull away and pops back up with the same line. “I told you I was afraid of my feelings for you“. Then he ghosts with a clear conscious, after all, he warned you.
If you hear lines like these often, you are probably jumping ahead of men and trying to push the relationship along, and he feels it, big time and it feels like pressure.
He is Afraid of His Feelings Towards You
I bet you have heard a man say to you before that you scare him or that he is afraid of his feelings for you. Lord I can’t even count the times I have heard this, but I can count the times it worked out with a man that says this. Zero. Please don’t feel bad for him and try to hold back that nurturing mother side that wants to cuddle him and tell him it will be alright.
You shouldn’t have to convince a grown man to not be afraid, really you shouldn’t. He should by this point be able to manage his own emotions and chances are good he is just saying this, again, as a way to excuse the times he doesn’t follow through with you.
When He Says He is Scared of Getting Hurt
Most take this as he needs more reassurance, when the truth of the matter is he just wants to slow you down in most cases. If he is really scared, ask yourself do you really want a man you have to shore up constantly by constantly validating and offering reassurance. Scared men don’t do much for me. How about you?
When He Says You Deserve Better
When a man says you deserve better, it’s because he knows he isn’t meeting your expectations. He knows that he could if he wanted to, but the fact is, he doesn’t want to. He knows you care more than he does and he knows you deserve someone who cares for you as much as you do him. He knows this like the nose on his face and that is why he tells you that you deserve better, and you do.
He Says He Wants To Take it Slow
There are a lot of women out there that get clingy real fast. Men are used to these women and they hope by telling you he wants to take it slow, that you will not do this. He wants to take it slow so he can move the relationship at his own pace, not yours. Relax and allow him to please.
He Says He is confused and Doesn’t Know What He Wants
He isn’t confused and he knows what he wants, he just doesn’t see it with you, at least not yet. It means he feels pressured, even when it’s self-imposed cause he’s seeing that this is getting hot and heavy faster than his liking.
When a man says he is confused about you, chances are he doesn’t feel quite safe with you. Again, this is another stalling tactic that men use when you are getting ahead of them to keep you at arms length and slow you down.
When the Timing is Bad
When a man starts seeing you less and you inquire as to why and he tells you work is really busy, or he has some personal stress, or other excuses as to why he can’t give you more time, it’s more often than not an excuse. A sign he is pulling away.
When a man is into you, he will find a way to spend time with you and he will want to see you. If he is too busy to see you, you need to get too busy to see him and fast.
Bottom line her ladies is when a man says any of these things like he is afraid of his feelings, you have gotten ahead of him. He is feeling it and he wants to stall you. It may be that he really is interested in you but he feels your anxious energy and can’t relax and let things unfold because he senses you have an end agenda. it may not be that he is not into you, it may be he just isn’t ready….yet.
These lines are signs you need to lean back, and let go of trying to control where the relationship is going. If you struggle with leaning back, you need to get Katarina’s leaning back and cultivation Feminine Mystique workshop and fast.