Five Steps To Get Yourself Back First Before You Can Get Your Ex Back

There are tons of get-ex-back advices out there but none of them really focuses on what really matters: getting yourself back first.  Here are 5 definite steps that have been proven time and again to get all sorts of exes back.

“Hi, Kat,

You can share my story on FB group if you want to….. I just can’t reveal my identity. My name is AA. I have been following you since June. My boyfriend broke up with me the second time in May, and I moved out of the house. I still remember those days my heart was 💔hurting so much, I was living in the anxiety of him dating someone else.

I followed you and your teaching. I don’t think you are teaching any kind of strategies to get any results. You are teaching a way of living and being. You are absolutely right, once you have gotten to a place you are ok with what it is and you are ok with yourself, everything you want just comes your way.

My ex is a very charming man. He dated a lot of women, always had a lot of options. When I was with him, I was always living in anxiety. I feared that if I was not good enough, he would just leave and be with somebody else. Whatever you think about comes to reality. I was always thinking about breaking up, and it came to my reality. I couldn’t accept the breakup for a long time, so I fought it.

And finally came to a point, I realized my reality. I am single again, and I am free. I could date anyone I want. So I started a dating rotation, met a guy. He was the type that is very charming and had a lot of options as well. I let him initiated all the dates, and I had sex with him on the second date.

To be honest with you, I kind of wanted to test out your theory about sex. I wanted to know if he was going to withdrawal after it. I want to see how much involved I would be. I also just wanted to have sex and break free from my ex. He was great in bed, I loved it….. but to my surprise, I was not attached to it and he didn’t withdraw either, instead it brought us closing.

He never called me or texted me during the days we didn’t see each other….. we usually see each other two or three times a week. I questioned him about it once because it bothered me, but your teaching rescued me from the confusion. If I am having a good time with him, he is paying all the time…. why not just enjoy the moment, that is exactly what I did….. and he fell in love with me….. and my ex came back….. still in love with me…….

I feel great when these tow charming, successful men would fall in love with me…….. I really didn’t do anything, I lived my life…. I cared about my feelings and I softened my boundaries. I am not overwhelmed by joy right now, I just feel really peaceful, like I know I am fine because I got myself. I love them both. It is not a matter of who I choose to be with anymore. It’s not that important anymore. I have the power to make anything work.

Thank you, Kat, It was great meeting you…… Love you, love your teaching…. will be a forever student…..”

Though my work doesn’t specifically deal with how-to-get-ex-back situations, it is the one that has been consistently giving results in the get-ex-back department though.  It is the real deal.  AA is just one recent many.  Some are back with their ex-husbands even.

And as AA noted, my work doesn’t include strategies.  It’s about healing one’s neuroses.  It’s about being whole and not needing anyone to make us feel good about ourselves cause that feeling-good-about-oneself bit is built-in inside ourselves.

So her case is a typical situation that many women find me for: they don’t know to deal with themselves.

This is what she said on her first email on July 18, less than 2 months before that email above:  “Hi Kat, I have been following you on your website for a month now. I bought a lot of your teaching programs and read a lot of your blogs. I really like your teaching. It resonates with me. But I also found it is very hard to do, and I don’t know how I can make it happen.

My boyfriend broke up with me for the second time in May. We were engaged, so everything is off now. we have a huge age difference, I am 34 and he is 59. We also work together, still work together. 

I just want to feel better now. I want to get over this, let him go and feel free and happy again. But this anxious energy is with me all the time. I constantly worry about he will start dating somebody from work again, and I don’t know how to deal with that. Please help me. 

He dated a lot of women before me and a lot of women became his friends. There were a lot of jealousy going on, so we had a lot of fights. I pretty much pushed my way through engagement. I also pushed hard after we got engaged, so he finally snapped. 

To be honest with you, I still want to be with him, but i think he is done, and not coming back, since this is the second breakup. I had a lot of resentment in the relationship as well, i do feel like a lot of times it is his way or the high way, I didn’t have a voice.

I don’t know what to do at this point. I contacted him once after the breakup for some financial things, he replied “ of course, sweetie, I will write you a check today.”

He also invited me once for a party, kind of a group email, I was included.

Do you think there is any hope for us to get back together?”

So through my ebook, many of my classes and major programs Journey Inward and the Leaning Back Workshop and premium email coaching, within 3 months of finding and practicing my teachings she got the result above.

But above all she got herself back.

And that’s the whole point.

Here are some steps that I advised her to do:

  1.  Move on and date again.  Sitting and moping around aren’t going to make you more attractive or make your ex want you back.  It’s very important that every moment you spend when you’re in the breakup situation is soul nourishing.  Find meaning in this very difficult period of your life.  And a lot of times the meaning is in finding you: the gorgeous, sovereign person who loves being single as much as being adored in relationship.
  2.  Time to do your journey inward, to own all the recurring themes and issues in relationships so later you can lose the identification to those things.  For example, if you’re always jealous and insecure in all your relationships, it’s time to realize your own innate desirability as a woman and human being.  That you’re special and unique in your own way and only in your way, not in your perceived competition with the other woman (women).
  3.  Did I say “perceive?”  Yes, I mention perception and how important it is to realize what it is.  Perception isn’t reality but you create your reality though the perception your unguarded mind projects unto the outer world.  Because your perception is so skewed and corrupted, the behaviors resulting from it will also be dysfunctional.  When you no longer perceive yourself in your head you will also stop perceiving the world according your ego/mind filter.  The knowledge of experiencing yourself direct without the interference of thoughts (also called beingness) is something you can expect to happen with increased awareness and less static noise in the form of self-perception/I-thoughts in your consciousness.  When you stop perceiving, you curtail most running commentaries in your head and in the process you begin to experience reality in a more and more wholesome and unbroken-whole way and less and less perception.
  4.   Let your ex come to you again when he’s ready, meanwhile you take care of yourself without an apology.  After the initial breakup there is too much volatility but he will be ready to approach your situation from a new chapter or modified angle when you allow him to process his emotions.  Thus, this is the time to reflect so when he reaches out again you’re in your best state of mind and ready to present your new shifted energy.  Let him speak and you listen and not trying to defend yourself.  Accept your mistake and be humbled about it.  That alone will cast so much doubt into your ex’s mind about the necessity of the breakup.
  5.   Treat the post-breakup situation as the reset button to your entire relationship so you start anew and afreshThat includes that he needs to court you and reclaim you again.  Don’t assume he’s fully in just because you start talking and hanging out again.  He will pull back from time to time just like the first time you dated again, let him be but you mustn’t forget to take care of your emotional needs by building a solid rotation so you don’t fall back to the toxic anger and resentment.

Now hear me out, I’m having an end-of-summer deal to close this month of September.  And if you’re in the breakup situation you don’t want to miss this opportunity.

  1.  Take $300 OFF for the entire 5 modules of my ultimate program Feminine Magnetism, coupon code: 300OFF (scroll down to the bottom of the page, valid for one payment only) or
  2.  Take $50 OFF per module of the same program, coupon code: 50OFF (valid for one payment only)
  3.  Take $20 OFF of the already $95 OFF 5 Class Specials (so total discount of $115), coupon code: 20OFF
  4. Take $15 OFF for the ebook with email and/or Skype coaching, coupon code: 15OFF
  5. Take $40 OFF for unlimited email coaching and 1-hour Skype, or $50 OFF for three 1-hour Skype sessions, coupon code: 40OFF and 50OFF respectively.

The offers are valid till September 30, 2018 at midnight PT.

Write me at kat@katarinaphang.com if you need me to pick your classes or you need to inquire about what programs best fit your situations.

MORE:  What If He’s Rebounding, How To Maximize Your Chance The Kat Way?

Do you want to learn more of this sacred knowledge that will bring you more understanding of men, love, relationship and in the process more peace of mind?  There are a few options you can do (pick two or all of them):

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Want to learn more the ins and outs of inspiring the man you adore to commit to you THE MOST DEFINITE WAY?  Here’s the most affordable way: by working with me face to face in a very relaxed, fun and intimate setting in my own home!  And you will get some of the coaching programs I mention here as bonuses as well so you can start listening to them before coming to the weekend getaway.  I promise you it’ll be one of the most worthwhile investments you’ll ever make in your life and you will leave knowing exactly how to be a high value woman.  Your life will turn upside down for the better after the retreat if you practice all the skills I teach there.

 

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One comment

  • Thanks for the awesome tips! I agree that we should focus on our selves first. Everything will follow when we learn to let go. 🙂

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