Exactly Why Your Insecurity Makes Him Run
Insecurity in a relationship or even just casual dating is one of the top relationship (and attraction) killers. When you are insecure in your relationship, not only do you suffer, but your partner suffers as well. Believe it or not, your partner or potential partner needs your security.
A relationship will not flourish if one or both partners are insecure. It will be limited in growth potential.
Below is an example of how your insecurity can create a vicious cycle and sabotage a relationship.
Angela and Greg met on a dating site and the sparks flew on their first date. In just a few weeks, they became exclusive and agree to give it a go.
Things went swimmingly well the first couple of months. They were inseparable.
Greg had a bachelor party that he had been committed to for one of his best friends.
The closer it got, the more Angela freaked inside. Would there be naked women there? Strippers? Would Greg meet someone else at the club?
She started bringing it up. Asking him questions. Seeking his reassurance. She insisted he call her when he got home.
Greg went to the party, but his girlfriend had now somehow managed to make him feel guilty. Obligated.
They had their first fight. The first chip off of the relationship out of many.
Angela was insecure and it was more and more obvious. She wanted to talk about her feelings and why she had them and she wanted Greg to understand.
She felt threatened by simple things like female friends on social media.
Once he had to cancel a date to help a friend move and she felt left out.
Her feelings seemed to get hurt often over things that Greg just didn’t feel was a big deal.
Her feelings were hurt over things he did.
Her feelings were hurt over things he didn’t do.
She had been hurt before.
She had been cheated on before.
She had been lied to.
These were her reasons for her insecurity.
This is just a brief summary of the story but the bottom line is Angela’s insecurity wore Greg down. Wore him out.
He became the manager of her emotions. He couldn’t express himself freely and didn’t even feel comfortable joking around or picking at her playfully anymore.
The fun woman he fell in love with was gone. Replaced by a woman seeking reassurance and validation of her status inside the relationship.
Men Need You to be Secure so they can be Secure
In a nutshell, men fall in love with how you make them feel. If they feel good in your presence they stay.
If you are secure in your relationship, you are giving him your trust. Men need to be trusted.
They do not need to pay for the sins of the men in your past.
When you are insecure with your man, he begins to feel unsafe.
Unsafe to express himself, be himself.
Unable to form an intimate emotional connection with you.
You can’t give security to your partner if you don’t have security inside yourself.
You just can’t give what you don’t have.
If you feel insecure in your relationship or in dating, how will your partner feel secure with you?
For someone to feel safe with you, first you must feel safe with yourself.
Security is about Trust
Many women who find themselves insecure don’t trust themselves.
They don’t trust their own judgements. They don’t trust that they will be okay with or without the man that currently holds their interest or their heart.
If you can’t trust yourself, he won’t feel safe enough to trust you either. He won’t trust you with his deepest feeling and emotions.
If you can’t handle your own emotions, how on earth can you handle his?
I have been in a relationship with an insecure partner.
One weekend in particular comes to mind. The weekend of the straw that broke the camel’s back as I call it.
I have some good friends. They are a part of my life. I like to spend time with them.
Over the course of our relationship, I spent less and less time with them. He would get quiet when I wanted one on one time with them.
He would start texting me stuff that could wait when I was with them.
Then one of my life long friends who had lived across country came back to live 2 hours from me away after 15 years.
I couldn’t wait to see her. I was so excited. I planned a weekend trip to her new house.
He texted me constantly. Wanted me to call every morning and every night. Told me how it made him feel bad when I forgot.
And I did forget. I was having fun. It was nothing personal to him but he took it personal.
I was doing nothing wrong. We were just sitting around a campfire, drinking wine, grilling and catching up. Hanging out. We never even left her house.
He was 200 miles away, yet I felt crowded, controlled. I was managing his emotions from 200 miles away.
I did not feel trusted. I did not feel safe. I felt anger and resentment.
So next time your partner gets irritated with you or seems to have little patience with your insecure habits, remember this.
You want to learn more of this sacred knowledge that will bring you more understanding of men, love, relationship and in the process more peace of mind? There are a few options you can do (pick two or all of them):
2. Add yourself to one of my fabulous FB support groups: Katarina Phang’s High Value Goddess Community. My groups aren’t moderated and it’s what sets them apart, believe it or not! Transformation happens gradually or fast (depending on where you are in your journey) because you are forced to see your own reflection in every member that stirs a strong emotional reaction in you. The groups make you AWARE and AWAKE, that’s the entire purpose of my teachings. It can’t be done when you are being coddled in a fake environment of safety (you don’t get that in the real world out there either but you will learn to cope as a healthy and well-adjusted adult). Any wonder I’m the one coach with the most results out there? It’s thanks to this, among other things.
4. Subscribe to this blog on the upper right hand corner of this page.
5. Follow me on FB and like my page, so you will know when I have FREE classes with juicy content and teachings on FB live videos. I give away so much free content because I know the impact I have on humanity as a whole.
6. Subscribe to my youtube channel. I’ll eventually add all my free classes/videos there.
7. Sign up for my magnificent Feminine Magnetism Group Coaching consisting of 27 weeks (approximately 54 hours of learning), particularly Module 1 Journey Inward and Module 5 Salvation Through Relationship. You will accelerate your growth with this one-of-kind profound program not being offered anywhere else. Begin the journey toward equanimity and self-acceptance.
8. Come to my celestial home for the upcoming retreat. We’ll have at least twice a year/retreats. If you like to listen to my speeches, you’ll be even more blown-away to sit with me in my living room (the Zen room) overlooking the celestial infinity pool in an intimate setting while I’m delivering my teachings. You’ll come home with a new more empowered perspective on love, men, relationship and life in general. I can shift you energetically like no other and usher you to the gate of a new dimension of reality.
Please share this article if it resonates with you.
Want to learn more the ins and outs of inspiring the man you adore to commit to you THE MOST DEFINITE WAY? Here’s the most affordable way: by working with me face to face in a very relaxed, fun and intimate setting in my own home! And you will get some of the coaching programs I mention here as bonuses as well so you can start listening to them before coming to the weekend getaway. I promise you it’ll be one of the most worthwhile investments you’ll ever make in your life and you will leave knowing exactly how to be a high value woman. Your life will turn upside down for the better after the retreat if you practice all the skills I teach there.