7 Low Value Traits That Convey a Woman’s Lack of Self Worth
While every woman has value, sadly many women still operate as low value women. Value comes from your own perceived self worth and this is where the issue lies.
Women who perceive themselves as low value are often unaware.
Their past traumas, experiences and perceptions cause them to operate in relationships with men from a place of fear.
They fear they will lose him or perhaps he will meet someone else more desirable so they engage in low value behaviors in an attempt to control this.
The opposite usually happens when a woman does this. He leaves.
There are traits or characteristics that low value women (women unaware of their value) display that give off these vibrations that repel men (listen to this powerful class How to Be High Value and Easy to Lose here).
7 Traits of Low Value Women
1. She Over Gives and Puts her Needs Last
You must give to receive. This is a phrase that has been ingrained in our heads for generations. Never to be questioned. There is nothing wrong with giving. Giving is good.
It makes you feel good.
Until you give too much and begin to feel pain and resentment.
Have you ever felt like you gave a man everything, were the perfect girlfriend, you gave and gave and then he just left. Turned you off like a light switch.
If you have ever felt this way or found yourself talking about how much you gave only to wind up heartbroken, chances are you are an over giver.
You are left feeling empty and broken because you put (your perceived) needs of a man above your own.
Over giving can look like the following:
- you cancel plans just to be with him when he asks
- you give your body even when you are tired and not really in the mood
- you volunteer to do chores for him, pick up his groceries dry cleaning etc…
- Send sexy pics even if you feel uncomfortable doing it because he asked
- it’s been a long time since you had fun with your own friends
- you make yourself available to him regardless
Basically you sacrifice your own life and needs to try to meet his.
This is low value behavior and a trait many women with little self value tend to have.
She thinks giving will bring him closer to her emotionally. Make him appreciate her more. Make her irreplaceable.
Women give to a man who is not emotionally in a place to receive and it backfires.
When a man isn’t in a place to emotionally receive he isn’t going to give back to the degree that you give to him.
He feels your over investment and this damages his respect for you.
As opposed to coming across as loving, she often comes across as a Martyr or victim.
A woman giving too much and denying her own life and needs really has little to give.
You can’t give much value if your cup is empty. What you give has little meaning when you have little self value.
A woman who values herself only has to give a little because it tends to mean more and have more significance because a man knows she gives without an agenda or expectations.
She is selective in her giving and this makes him feel special.
He can and will feel the difference.
2. Low Value Trait the Inability to Receive
Above we established that giving makes one feel good. This goes for the man in your life as well. He feels good when he gives to you but there is a condition to this.
You need to be able to gracefully receive what he is giving.
Even something as simple as a compliment matters. How many times do you downplay a compliment. He tells you that red dress is beautiful on you. What do you say?
Do you say oh this dress is 5 years old or something to down play his gesture?
Or do you say a simple thank you with a smile and tell him you just made my night! Maybe thank you, I love this dress too!
The ability to receive with grace is tied to your self worth. If you struggle with receiving, and many women do, you are sending the message that you aren’t worthy.
On some level you believe this and eventually, he is going to believe this too.
I myself have struggled in this area in my past.
A few years ago I was on the phone with my boyfriend at the time and we had talked about our day. Mine had been long. I was exhausted. I mentioned that I sure wish I had a bottle of wine but was too dang tired to go out and get it.
15 minutes later I heard a knock on the door and there he stood holding not one but two bottles of wine.
I had already put my pajamas on, taken off my makeup and looked like hell.
I did not apologize for the way I looked. I did not tell him oh you shouldn’t have done that or went to all that trouble.
I enthusiastically gave him a big hug and said thank you, this is so awesome! I am impressed that you got me my favorite wine.
He beamed. He stood a little taller and smiled from ear to ear. He didn’t care that I had on plaid pajama pants and a plaid flannel shirt that didn’t match.
This one low value trait cost me many relationships in my younger days. I had to dig deep to uncover my struggles to receive.
I don’t care how big or small his giving gesture is. He may offer to take out my trash (my dream man for sure), wash my car, change my oil or take me on an exotic trip.
I am not going to say something like oh you don’t have to do or I can do that myself or that’s just too much. I know my value and I am worth these gestures.
Receive with grace. He needs this from you to connect.
3. The Low Value Trait of Falling Fast and Hard
The feeling of falling in love is amazing and exciting. Who doesn’t want to fall in love?
The problem lies when a woman wants to fall in love so desperately that she attaches quickly to men she barely even knows.
It’s been a few dates or a few months and she is already stressing over the future or if he calls or texts her back. She becomes anxious and insecure in the relationship that is brand new.
I have a friend that I just stopped going places with. Every place was a place for her man hunt. If we would go out and she would not get male attention, she would be Debbie Downer. Whining about how she was destined to be alone. Asking me what was wrong with her.
If she did get male attention and get a date her excitement was always instant. One date and she is ranting about Mr. Marvelous.
A week later he disappears and she is ranting about what a prick he is. Sometimes the “relationship” may last a month or few, and then when he breaks it off, she is devastated.
She craves that high of feeling desired, feeling in love. It has become a chemical addiction caused by the dopamine in her brain.
She uses emotions as opposed to good common sense when it comes to falling in love.
The pattern repeats itself over and over and she writes the story in her heart that men suck.
A woman who does not value herself often falls in love fast and attaches easily.
A woman that deeply loves herself does not give her heart away recklessly.
She paces the relationship and takes the time to get to know the man and his character.
She is not willing to settle after a few dates or a couple of months.
She recognizes the low value man masquerading as a nice guy.
4. Low Value Trait of Oversharing
In #4 above I mentioned the repeating pattern of falling in love too fast and the story she creates by all of the disappointment.
When Do I Tell Him About My Past?
Common question from women.
So she meets a new man and feels the need to tell him all about her past wounds. Usually she does this in hopes that if he knows how men have let her down he won’t do it to her too.
She feels he needs to know this. In her head he needs to know so he will know how to treat her or rather how not to treat her.
You can’t dictate how a man will or will not treat you. Not with words or your past sad stories. This is a common misconception from low value women.
Then post breakup story goes something like “how could he do this to me, he knows how bad I was hurt in the past.“
In blunt words, she sees herself as the victim. Women who play the victim are displaying one of the lowest of low value traits.
She hasn’t done the inner work and places the blame on the men who have hurt her in the past and expects the men in her present and future to make this up somehow.
When I go on a date with a man who feels compelled to share all his past bad relationships with me sooner rather than later, I already feel pressure. I feel he is going to expect me to make it all better and he will be looking to me to fill the position of his emotional manager.
While we all have our list of wounds in our past, these are best trusted to someone who has put in time, effort and investment.
Women who value themselves do the inner work and take accountability as opposed to playing the blame game.
When you do the inner work and heal those wounds, you will find yourself not willing nor needing to share them with any Tom Dick or Harry.
Don’t mistake bleeding all of your past wounds for vulnerability. It’s not.
The ability to manage and control your emotions is an irresistible quality.
If you don’t heal what hurt you, you will bleed on people who didn’t cut you.
5. A low Value Woman Ties Her Worth to Sex
Many women withhold sex for different reasons. They want the commitment first. So they hold out till they have that. I will give you access to my vagina if you give me the girlfriend title.
Then we have the age old belief that a man will not respect you if you sleep with him too soon. If you believe that you are operating on a low value frequency. Putting your value not on what you think of you, but what someone else thinks of you.
You are allowing him to determine your value and that my friend is an inside job.
You believe he is what determines your value. You and only you determine your self value.
Women who have a sense of high value understand that their value is not in their vagina.
They know their body belongs to them and they can do as they choose with it based on her desires, wants or needs.
Whether they choose to have a different partner every night of the week or go without sex for months or years, the choice is theirs.
What low value women don’t get about sex is that is not the prize or his reward.
The prize or reward is you agreeing to commit to him and share your heart and life with him.
It doesn’t work the other way around that after you get the commitment he gets just another vagina out of thousands.
If a man shames or rejects you for giving it up too soon, he is the one with the misplaced value, not you.
6. Low Value Women Seek Validation and Assurance
A trait of a low value woman is insecurity. A woman with confidence is rarely insecure. She knows her worth and accepts herself flaws and all and does not seek validation from an outside source
A woman with a lack in this self value feels insecure in about any relationship. She operates out of fear and that fear is losing a man.
She will bring up the talk, try to get a man to define the relationship and often speak of her disappointments of how things are not progressing.
When she speaks of her disappointments or pushes for a definition of where she stands, she is secretly seeking his validation that she is secure and can relax.
An insecure woman can never relax in a relationship because the relationship defines her and is her story of happy. If the relationship ends, so does her happiness.
When a woman is scared she is going to lose a man, she holds on tightly and this ultimately pushes him away.
If a woman is consistently seeking assurance and validation from a man, she is telling him she won’t be okay if he leaves and her well being depends on him. Her insecurity will make him run.
Heavy load to carry for a man and men don’t tend to stick around when something feels heavy. They gravitate to what feels light.
7. It’s Low Value to Accept and Justify Bad Behavior
In Katarina’s Facebook group, threads are often posted where a man behaves badly.
- He may have stood her up multiple times.
- Maybe he has a pattern of ghosting.
- He talks down to her
- He has anger issues
- He drinks enough to sink the Titanic
Despite this bad behavior, she is posting to seek advice of what a high value response would be when he resurfaces.
She often justifies this with excuses for him. He has been hurt or was cheated on in his past or his parents abandoned him or he grew up with abuse.
Honey there is no excuse for bad behavior or when a man treats you poorly. When you love yourself, you won’t tolerate it period.
Think of the love you have for a friend or child. Would you wish this treatment on them? Why would you take it for yourself?
You are no less valuable than any other human.
Men will treat you badly because you tolerate and allow it. You show a man how to treat you by how you treat yourself.
A man will find it very difficult to treat a woman with high self value badly because he knows she will walk. She would choose to be alone over being with a man that thinks bad behavior is acceptable.
This is not only about what you do, but what you don’t or won’t do.
Accepting bad behavior reflects your feelings of unworthiness.
A man will treat you as well as you treat yourself.
You have value, we all do. You are worthy of a healthy loving relationship which only comes when you learn to BE a high value woman. This comes from a deep place of self love and acceptance.
If you don’t have this or feel it to your core, you have little to give in a relationship. Being with you will feel heavy, not light. You energy will be repelling as opposed to magnetizing.
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