Why You Need A Dating Rotation Till He Steps Up And Why It Works

rotation dating

“Katarina Phang You are amazing!!  It’s been a year with my guy!!  I won’t call him EUM as he is now mine and all mine.  He has claimed me!!  Rori Raye opened my eyes to getting in tuned with my feelings more and when talking to man express it with feeling messages!!  Honey, you took this step further and with huge differences between you both, as you know the right way of how a woman should speak to a man, the right way to engage a man’s emotions that allows “true connection” to happen in the moment!  You truly understand men and how to trigger them!!  I used your lines and all of your suggestions and that was the magic pill that kept him engaged!!  So happy you told me my work with him was not done, as you were correct I got pissed and ended things!!  I returned stayed feminine and finally accepted the idea of dating rotation which I guess sent off a different aura/vibe to me!!” 

 

Mia found me about a month ago -actually on another dating coach page- when she had just freshly dumped her EUM in the heat of the moment and was looking for solutions to her dilemma.  They had seen each other for almost a year and he still hadn’t claimed her and she was sick of it.  Obviously she wasn’t done.  And I always advise women who aren’t emotionally done to go back to the “crime scene” and do things differently, according to my method this time.

She went back in touch, signed up for my “Get-Ex-Back” edition of Journey Inward and began to practice what I teach.  She started by removing expectations and putting him in a rotation.  A few weeks into this he began to really respond to her shifted vibe:

“What’s gotten into my EUM today!!  He just text me to do lunch!!  In the year I have known him he has never ever do that!!  I was so shocked I just said sure..  His response was not convincing is that a bad idea or something?  Me it’s an ecstatic “sure” that’s hard to get via text at times (his famous line!).

Like I’ve become his world….as soon as I have started date others!!  I now figured it out too I got some flowers this weekend from my date and my son was smelling them I took a pic and used it as my “watsapp chat” profile picture!  In the middle of the night he called me and wanted to know what I did this weekend!

To which I was on the phone with him till 3:30 am!!  Texted me this morning that he is missing me and he is feeling some strong strong emotions right now!!  And he can’t stop thinking about me and then the lunch invite!!  Why all of this now??!!”

And though he was still seeing other women (at least during the three weeks that they broke up), he got really agitated when he found out that she was also dating other guys (she was having another guy in rotation and had been in a few dates with him).

She shared:  “Drained!! This morning was epic to say the least!!

My EUM went batshit crazy of me!!  Like Katarina Phang jokingly puts it, I told myself that the tampons I found in his bathroom trash can were for his “nose bleed.”  No big deal as I ended things a few weeks ago but was with him this weekend as you all know for his eye surgery blah blah!!  Tell me why is it that this Attorney I went out with a few times called me this morning and this stupid shit of a new phone calls out the name of the person calling… need to get this setting off!!

Anyways he knows the name and loaded questions started!!  Did you have sex with him!!  Tell me I need to know this!!  Me trying to change the subject said, this weekend was about helping you heal, maybe it’s not such a great idea to talking about what we do outside of when we are not together.  We are not exclusive and I assume you date others.  So I remained adamant not answering the questions by insist that’s not something I feel like discussing!!  That’s when the batshitness exploded!

He went off that after being with me for 11 months (we have known each other for 14 months) he has never felt this why about any other woman since his divorce and if I am sleeping with anyone else he is not sure that something he can handle and he needs to know.  So are you dating this guy or what (same questions over and over??).  Me: yes we’re dating!  How often you see him?  Well since our split of three weeks I’ve seen him at least 7-10 times!!

His response “And no sex!!  Mia, you are a very sexual person.”  I said yes when I am with you and we are not there yet! I am sure I did not handle this well at all…I really did not feel like I should have been subjected to answering those questions!!  He said sure you need to answer, so that I can get his emotions and feelings checked…do you think you are the only who has your feeling vested in this, Mia?

He said I know, you know I date others and you deal with it..not sure how…but the way I feel about you, I don’t think I can accept this…you getting this close to another man.  WTF!!  I was piss with that statement, and said we are friends, what I do with my life is none of your business, nor is yours any of mine!  This entire time I was calm!  He said friends I did not know this (that we are just friends!!).  We had sex eight times last week Saturday….which might I add is after you so ended things!!

So are we just friends?  Not sure is this is what mirroring looks like, but I posed the question back at him.  Then he said I know this is not fair to you, but this is what happens when you date and get your feelings vested and you don’t commit!!  No answer from me, and then I said, I need to go I as I’m already super late for work.

I moved over to hug and kiss him he was not having that at all!!  He said he can’t stand to touch with the thought of a next man touching me!!  Men are really two-faced!  Then he said I’m sure your other guy will give you hugs and kisses.  I’m having such mixed emotions right now, but I feel like he’s a big boy and he can deal with however he chooses!  Therefore he will not be hearing from me as I don’t intend to have any drama about this!!  He is sure living his life, it’s so unfair that he wants me to remain committed to him while he does only God knows!!

I advised her how to deal with such situation and she did exactly what I told her to say to him.  A month or so later after she first found me, he claimed her!  This is what she shared in the group:

“Katarina Phang You are amazing!! It’s been a year with my guy!! I won’t call him EUM as he is now mine and all mine. He has claimed me!!

Rori Raye opened my eyes to getting in tuned with my feelings more and when talking to man express it with feeling messages!! Honey, you took this step further and with huge differences between you both, as you know the right way of how a woman should speak to a man, the right way to engage a man’s emotions that allows “true connection” to happen in the moment! You truly understand men and how to trigger them!!

I used your lines and all of your suggestions and that was the magic pill that kept him engaged!! So happy you told me my work with him was not done, as you were correct I got pissed and ended things!! I returned stayed feminine and finally accepted the idea of dating rotation which I guess sent off a different aura/vibe to me!!

Yesterday a man who told him he could not commit, said no way in hell I’m going to allow another man to have you! I am going change my ways for you! I know I won’t find another woman like you! I am going to give you the security you need and deserve! You have captured me, not by playing games but by just being you (So I can and I can give the commit you deserve that to you.) He even proclaimed how masculine he feels around me and we play our roles very well you bring a lot of feminine energy!

Christ, my relationship changed so much in a month of being in this group and doing the work Journey Inwards and has brought out the best in my Journey Outwards!! I am so so happy!!

I woke up to this awesome man telling me how much he loves me!! A man won’t commit until you give him a reason to!! I guess I needed another man in the mix! No more free milk!!

He booking us a vacation today, so in two weeks we will be going away!! i hope it’s will be a sunny destination!!” 

Rotation or multidating is often looked with suspicion and even disdain.  Some women are really against it citing that dating a few different men all at once make them unable to focus on any of them or it only distracts them.  Well, hello…that’s the whole point of a rotation: so you are not over-investing in a man who is feeling pressured by your laser focus on him. You exactly need that distraction to keep him attracted to you cause your leaning forward energy is a kiss of death to a fledgling romance.

What exactly the problem is many women attach way easily and early to a man they are so into, especially after sex.  If they put all their eggs in one basket they will soon act needy and clingy and most guys need to pace the relationship, especially in the beginning, and if these women only have one guy to feed her emotionally their anxiety will begin to set in uncontrollably in no time.  They will start to try to nudge the relationship forward before he’s ready.

And as I see everyday in my job, they are pushing the men away….   Their energy is so anxious it’s a turn off.

There is really no sense to focus on one guy who isn’t reciprocating like the case with Mia when she was just dating him exclusively.  And the center of my method -and why it works like a charm- is on leaning back.  Leaning back as many women have attested is mighty hard unless we perceive options and lead a full life.

Rotation raises your vibration.  When you are being adored by a few different men you also like, you see it firsthand that the world is abundance.  There is never any need to pine for any one guy.  Your energy becomes upbeat, soft, secure and feminine….naturally.  You lean back naturally.

Because you feel secure, you can now surrender to your feminine radiance.  And he’s (or any guy) is drawn to that energy like a moth to a flame.

This is what we see happening with Mia’s EUM (now her boyfriend).  I don’t teach strategy, I teach what really endures: shifting your energy.  And that is what has been proven to work time and again.

And don’t forget men thrive on competition.  They want to win you as the prize.  When you pine and act a one-down (the party that is more invested in relationship) because you arrive before him, he loses the feeling that you are the prize cause he knows that he doesn’t have to work for your love and affection.

That’s why pursuing a relationship with a man -who may or may not be lukewarm in the beginning- will only cause him to lose the motivation and attraction even more.  My method assures this aspect is well taken care of from the get go.

Whatever your situation is with your man, my method will solve it because it’s feminine-energy based and is ever so subtle and gentle as well as psychologically savvy.  Mia is now signing up for my brand new program: Four Components Of Melting His Heart so she can learn how to split-proof and polarize her relationship and keep it passionate.

Join me with 32 ladies in this new program. You can listen to first class on trust upon signing up. You’ll walk away from this program empowered with the knowledge on how to deeply polarize your relationship from the getgo so it blooms an deepens by leaps and bounds naturally so you will never meet another dead end in your relationship ever again. Your man is “commitment phobic?” You will understand how you might contribute to it yourself after this program and stop doing all that.

UPDATE:  “Hey Kat, know I haven’t posted In the group about my own journey in awhile….I write this with tears in my eyes….why? When I look back how far I’ve come and grown. Your teachings have stayed with me since day one and it has changed me in so many ways…it would take forever to list.

Accept or walk away is one of the best things I have learnt from you…I mean it the secret to living my life at the fullest. I walked away from my love back in Oct of last year due to this simple concept.

I marvel in that power to love, not accept, seeing dysfunction for exactly what it is, allowing one to explore his own path or struggles even in knowing that u can find healing in a relationship but not staying expecting the other person to heal just loving them for exactly where they are without accepting the situation.

That was long…lol!! Girl you helped changed my life so much. I have not worked in how many months and I am the happiest I’ve ever been!!

I left New York with my son to Arizona to escape the winter… I left my guy to figure out his life and how he fits into my life. This is same guy from day one. His work stress was taking a toll on him, he started staying out late drinking (drinking is fine, heck I drink too). I could see the dysfunction, he was using it to cope with the work load. It’s a true boundary I set to not have my son exposed to those elements such as “daddy coming home drunk at 4am).

He found another hobby to relive stress…gym lol. Decided that leaving New York city was the best thing for him, as environment affects you. He called up from London (at the visit with his stressful clients). He said “I’m coming to get my woman, my family.”

He came to AZ almost every two weeks, loved his son (not biological) not that you would know:). We’re closing on a home on the 31 of this month in GA ( New York, AZ, to GA hahahah).

He took actions, moved to be with us, and now will be working from home while we both work on our own start up entity. I think he felt what life was like without us and now knows he would rather have his family than a NYC hot roller life lol.

I tell you, being non-reactive is another key concept…did I mention I haven’t worked, his commitment to us is paramount. Giving him space drew him close and gave him time to address his own fears ( yes, he still had those).

Engaged? Mmmmm… not sure if we will ever have that in a sense. We both know we will get married on the beach In a year or so. Kat, he just purchased us a beautiful home, who needs a ring lol.

I see how many of our women being goal driven, I wish they would just “be” in the moment, accepting it for exactly what it is….yes being proposed and getting married is nice but what is all of that with a great relationship/connection.

Katarina, thank you for that journey of exploring of self, the relationship I hold with me and the stories I held to be true. Your teachings has changed me for life. I love you, you’re such a wonderful soul.”

You can now listen to her miraculous story straight from her mouth here.  The interview went so great and as I said in it she’s one of my miracle clients cause she turned everything around only within weeks! It took Mikaila almost 2 years to get to that point (not saying that she’s less of a miracle) but the speed was kinda incredible to me even though perhaps it’s not typical.

MORE: Still In Doubt About The Power of Rotation?  Listen To This Hit Class And Turn Your Situasionship Around.

Have you read my book yet?  If not grab it here because you will learn so much about a lot of things that haven’t worked for you in your love life and how to fix them.  And sign up for my upcoming new cycles of Journey Inward and Leaning Back workshop (Mia is signing up as well so you can learn from her direct).

Please share this with the buttons below and I’d like to hear your comments as well and if you want me to address more scenarios write it on the comment section below (and don’t forget to subscribe to this blog for more insight into the mind of men on the right side bar so you’ll get notified for each new post).

Image credit Deposit Photo!

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35 comments

  • DianaK1027@yahoo.com

    I am dating someone fir two months. We decided to be exclusive. I ibpnitiated it if corse and he agreed. We now dare once per week he does live an he and a half away. He texts every two days n recently went away on Friday and have hit heard from him yet n it us Sunday. ?? my question is: should I start a rotation even though we are supposedly exclusive? Thinking that may hit be right. Thanks.

  • Katarina,
    What if I broke it off because he would not commit but now want to go back to “the crime scene” to do things differently… We will likely meet up soon. After doing some inner work, my heart is telling me to just say that I`m sorry if I put any pressure on him and that I miss him. Should I bring it up at all? What should I say if he asks (and he will) why I want to start seeing him again? Thank you!

    • Tell him the truth, that you changed your mind and would like to ive it a try.

      • He contacted me a week ago asking if he could see me as he came back to town (hadn`t seen him for 3 months). I agreed, he spent the night and we both acted like nothing happened. He said he missed me. I`m leaning back and haven`t contacted him. He texted once 3 days ago to wish me happy holiday. I`m getting anxious wanting him to initiate again and see me. I know I should keep my rotation and lean back but it`s hard. Advice, Katarina?

  • Hello, I’m new to the rotation approach but working to set mine up. Do we allow men who we are genuinely not interested in to be in the rotation if they keep coming back? Basically I have a couple of these – I’m just not attracted to them but have a nice enough time with them and figure it’s a good way to practice while being open to men I am more attractive to.

    • I’ll let them go if my attraction doesn’t grow after 2 dates unless they’re okay being platonic.

  • Great read!
    When you suggest we go back to the “crime scene” and do things differently. How do we get back in touch? by a text? what do we say exactly? I have tried a few days ago to go back to the crime scene by a text (kind and sweet like honey) but still no word from his end. We had a pretty messy break up. He had claimed me but was still seeing other women on the side so we both kind of broke up in a heated moment and now I am left completely confused.
    Thanks for the amazing coaching on here. amazing.

    • Wait till he reaches out to you and he will. You need to work on yourself so you become less reactive and as cool as a cucumber like most of my successful clients. Get my book and schooled in all my programs and experience a profound personal transformation you won’t think possible.

      • Katarina,
        What if we broke it off due to lack of commitment but want to go back to “the crime scene” to do things differently – what should we answer if he asks why we are back in the relationship/”non-relationship” that we claimed we did not want? Thank you!

  • RB, experiment but eventually and naturally you will drop those whom you’re not that attracted to. To practice in the beginning, yeah why not go out on first or second date with them?

  • HI Kat!
    Love your book! you say keep men in rotation that you like. but I don’t meet a lot of men that I l am that attracted to either mentally or physically. I am currently being pursued by a guy that comes across super gay in his instagram pics (mostly all naked or border line) and another that is heaps unnatractive to me. Do you suggest to date these men and start my rotation with them? I am freshly single so just want to try the rotation but man! I’d love to have great options and not these randos!

  • Hi Kat

    I get the idea behind rotation and it makes sense. I have tried this but I still end up getting hung up on one guy because he sort of becomes my “favorite”. And while getting attention from other guys is flattering, it is hard to feel the same way towards all of them and so I end up getting disappointed anyway if the guy who I liked the most did not like me back. Then even if the other guys do like me–they can keep me distracted but only for a little bit.

    Also, I have a problem with guys dating multiple women. I know it is unrealistic to expect a guy to like Only me but somehow I get very turned off by guys who flirt with a lot of women and ask all of them out and keep them rotating. Even if they end up choosing one (and that person is me) somehow it doesn’t make me happy that they chose me. I want to feel special and love it when a guy shows interest in me over and above all other women. Like being zeroed in at a party and asked out. If a guy is flirting and asking a bunch of women at a party and I’m only one of them, it makes me feel like I’m auditioning for a harem. Someone it makes me feel like his attraction to be is not all that special even if we are just exploring and getting to know each other. It is a different matter if things don’t work out with a certain woman and then a guy meets me and starts pursuing me. That is fine. But I do not like being part of a rotation. Therefore, it seems only fair that I do not keep guys on rotation and take one at a time.

    What do you say?

  • Katarina Phang

    Buying the car for you????? Never thought my method worked that well! Should charge you more for the class lol… Man, when will I get a car?

  • I took exclusivity off the table, he did not entertain it , that was Sunday. Monday he called wanting to know if I really like the car we were looking at and before i could answer him he said I am buying that car for you. I hope you are ok with that. I simply said that’s sweet.

  • I can tell you from experience, as “being with my guy” I have never had any relationship as such, where i was a part of his rotation, as I use to date a ton and drop then like hot bread if they never offer what i needed in a man!! Think about this, if you meet a drug dealer today and he is so into you, however if type of lifestyle is not attractive, that man will repel you!! You are with this man and confused about what he gives to YOU and YOU accept…As he pulls and appeals to that void in you!! I hope I’m making sense here, trying to multi-task!! When I met my guy, my life of 6 years was falling apart, including hubby absconding with our son to force me into submission! I had a lot to deal with including custody battle and the self-shame I cried as I failed and the thought of now being a “single mother” was like WTF fuck!! Gosh i was unfulfilled and ask for the separation but I did not expect him to take our son and wanting to move back to Wisconsin!!

    I was hurt, in pain and I felt alone!! He was there and he got it and he showed up, and the sex was the best I ever had!! I did not care that he was dating other fuck I even called “FWB!” and was happy i was exploring that side of me!! You know I was always the good girl, living up what was expected of me!! My sisters were in shock that I accepted this and was ok with it (him sleeping with other and i would be in this type of relationship) I did not want a relationship I was just getting out of one! This served me he works close to my office and he was/is wounded just like I am from his divorce of two years!! And we talked about our lives all the fucking time, why we stayed that long or why we ever chose that life partner!

    I was connected to him through my pain I was not going anywhere, no matter how my sisters would say his time is up, next. What happen to our Alpha sister!! Guess what, I could and (I’m still) being beta with him. I loved his alpha ways, as he made all the decision, and I was in a cab and showed up! However I knew I needed to deal with my pain, so it never turns into anger, and hence I did what I need to do. Every Thursday and Friday I was in that chair letting out and loving it! I was starting to feel better each week, and that self-shame got better and I would now let friends or anyone who ask “how is hubby!” I could say we are no longer together, I accepted my part in its failure and I accepted and embrace my new life!

    When Katarina Phang me to the group and I intimidate sign up for Journey Inwards, there was a session on Anger and I reflected on my ex all I felt for him was compassion and I was so happy to again confirm no suppressed emotions towards him! Why is it so easy for me to walk away today “from my guy” it’s because he no longer appeals to that void, as I no longer have that hole and learned what I needed to learn through him about myself. I gave up control and being so darn controlling (shit with my ex I would have a say all darn time in what he chooses to wear!) I’ve learn to accept him as he is and where he is still at and I have no expectations. I don’t need to be right, being right is not as important as understanding! I don’t need to make anyone wrong for what I’m feeling! One might have done you something to cause you to feel pain, but looking for them to fix it will never happen!!

    Do I love this man, oh yes I do! He might not be perfect but who is, he might not fess up the second he was asked but he is always honest. From day one he has always treated me like a lady and things i found out was from me searching, was this due to me at the time looking to feel validated, prove him a liar (when it was not necessary) and wanting to control the relationship as my feelings for him grew and i got way too invested, when he never asked! I started dating others and he flipped and claimed me, with all his fear of commitment, but those are still there and him checking his dating profile and no taking it down, is not about me it’s about him. I know it and he knows it! When I think about it being able to not blow up, and to have the sort of communication we had last Sunday night, is how i want to live a life with any man! Knowing the right way to talk with your mate and not making them feel wrong as they know when they are in the wrong, is awesome!! So while thought I knew myself and I do. I was so lacking in those skills sets of really making your man feel confident comfortable opening up to you knowing you won’t blow him and the roof in the process is something I am very happy to have learnt!!

    I give credit to Four Components of Melting His Heart it’s a really great class when you have done the inner work! To hear him tell me he has never had a woman this mature, and how healthy of a life it is to have a woman like this he knows it’s rare and so unbelievable! He makes him want to give me everything I need. Lean back and take the focus off him when he reaches talked with him and be receptive.

  • Update: Being brutally honest here!! Also want to make this short too! Katarina Phang, last week I totally questioned why the heck I was paying for those classes, for this woman to now tell me the man that claimed it’s OK and not a big deal for him to have and check his profile and it’s best that I don’t become or be reactive!! Is this woman nuts, then I must get out here, cause I surely am ready to explode!

    Then Tricia had the nerve to tell me that it could be his way to cope with the idea of giving himself again!! I was like this is just a mess!! That was me projecting his behavior as being reflective that I was not this great lady for him, what could he possibly be doing but looking to cheat!! Surely I was upset that he did not honor his word by deactivating his profiles! However I knew from the start that the idea of giving his heart again scared the shit out of him! To think that once be became exclusive those fears were left behind is simply not realistic! So this is my take away:
    1) That I can trust Kat (trust builds sorry!! And I can see my ROI -return on investment)
    2) That Tricia is crazy for still checking her profile but RIGHT as so confirmed by him. Thanks hon and for everyone that entertained my venting that precious day!! I’m sure it was a great use of time
    3) Him checking his profile is not about me…it’s about him
    4) I am always in control of me but I don’t get to control his actions nor do I desire to
    5) I’m great and any man who chooses and I accept to share in my life is a lucky Lad
    6) Knowing the right way to communicate with your mate can yield some great rewards
    7) Men are not perfect and don’t expect them to be allow them to be who they are. When they know that you are in control over your own emotions it makes that much comfortable expressing theirs.
    8) Blowing up never ameliorate the issues but rather exacerbate them
    9) I like feeling in control and I don’t get to control men/people
    10) That is no longer my way or the high way!!

    During our last class on Sat Kat suggested not bring up the issue first allow him to. Surely I agreed and again thought you was nuts. So I should let him come over and then WAIT for him to approach the subject…ok, BE DIFFERENT…BE ONE IN A MILLION. Let’s if this Kat truly is nutty or truly knows what works! Turns out she does, we had a great Saturday evening/night.

    He truly made my mother’s day special even with my bratty comment to my girl-friend response “hope you will get spoiled to” I was like my son is a baby, why would I be spoiled. To get a rise out of him…yes I think they call that manipulation. His response was I will fill his role until you can, which is did a fantastic job.

    Sunday night we were in bed and he turns to me and said. I am not sure why you haven’t said anything to me but I don’t want to pretend like it never happened. He then proceeded to say that he goes on dating site on from time to time to reduce the fear, or maybe it’s out of habit. Then he confirmed what I thought that Monday night he was out with someone.

    So I asked him if he was or has been sexually active he said no and I guess for him it was important to note that he did not meet the person online! He was saying he is sorry and I told him there is no need to be. At times you feel we might be ready for something and once we are in it we might realize that maybe we are just not ready.

    He was in shock by my response! Told me is happy with me and I truly do make him happy and he is not sure why is being trapped by fear. I said to him it’s where he is at in his journey and our past relationship affects our present ones, especially, when we are still hold on to this hurt. He blurted out he loves me and I make him feel strong, he can’t believe I’m so mature about it.

    Today being with my son and I makes him feel like he could really have it all this time. I allow him to lead and let him be the man. He knows he is not perfect and he loves me for being patient with him. He truly wants to make me happy and provide the things I need and then he asked me if I desire to get married and have more children or if I would be ok with not being married and having children.

    I told him I’m not in any rush, however those are my desires for sure. Then he asks my time frame…I told him I did not have any. Then he asks in an ideal world what I would want. I said my son is 30 months old in an ideal world I would love to have another one before he is 5. He was a bit emotional throughout the conversation, a side of him I don’t usually see.

    He wanted to know where we go from here. I told him we should take exclusivity/labels off the table as the no need for him to feel caved. I also what to feel like the person I’m in an exclusive relationship with is secure in that choice. My son woke up and he said he would put him back to bed and he came back to bed we had the most amazing love making session and I fell asleep so ended the conversation.”

  • No, divorce hasn’t been brought up, he refused counseling. He has had relationships with other women but became angry when he thought there was another man. We talk/text most days and he sleeps at our house (on the couch) 2 or 3 nights out of the week.

  • What is your reccomendation for someone that is married but seperated (his idea) doesn’t feel like you should date someone else if you want to save your marriage.

  • But to quote your first paragraph after the testimonial..” And I always advise women who aren’t emotionally done to go back to the “crime scene” and do things differently, according to my method this time. ”

    It sounds like it is not specific to her situation but a generalization of what you believe. Is it ?

    • Nobody can break up when they are not truly over and like in every breakup situation, it’s rarely ever final the first time it is announced. There is no such thing as a clean breakup: people who are not done always go back and forth at least for a while. It’s the same with her situation.

      • In my situation we were dating for a period of time (not formally exclusive but I don’t believe he was seeing anyone else) He said then told me he had hung out with his ex-gf a few times. He said they hadn’t had sex but he sounded less than ambivalent… I pressed him more and said she wanted to get back together but he didn’t. He wanted to remain friends tho. I said I didn’t want to date a person who was hanging out with his ex.. The conversation evolved into sort of “the talk”… He said I was giving him a ultimatum which it was of sorts..He ended up by saying he was going to tell her but it’s 3 weeks later and there has been no contact.. So I guess I initiated it but I don’t feel done either

        • If he’s not over his ex, don’t take him so seriously. He won’t be over her overnight and time will tell. So just enjoy him and a few others.

  • Why do you believe women should contact someone when they are not emotionally done when everyone else advocates No Contact?

    • She was the one who left in anger and at the time he was going through a surgery and he did ask if she could be there for him as originally planned before the breakup.

      • I am referring to your comment in the article, that you always advise women who are not “emotionally done” to go back to the crime scene and do things differently this time..not specifically this person.

        • If your guy dumps you, you shouldn’t reach out. Let him reach out to you. This is a different case.

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