When To Walk Away From A Relationship
When to walk away from a relationship shouldn’t be such a mystery. I never advise women to walk away from a relationship when I know they are not over their guys unless there is abuse involved. It’s a useless piece of advice that never works. Instead of “walking away” because you’re feeling pissed and coming back a bit later that makes you look unstable, you should find his rivals.
Here’s a post from Jessica in the group: “Update! I broke up with emotionally unavailable man for an emotionally available guy as many of you may recall from a few weeks ago. Let me tell you how this is going….
He’s been throwing a “mantrum.” He called me last night yelling and complaining and accusing me of cheating and many other things….
I just listened and said “believe what you want… I am not replying…” And then at some point I started to cry. He stopped, he cried too and then he started begging and pleading for me to reconsider. He said ” Please don’t leave me I will do anything, I will meet your kids, your family, I will take you wherever you want to go, the best restaurants, vacations – we will do it all I just want to be with you for whatever it takes.”
I said “No, it’s too late the damage has been done and there is someone else who wanted to do all this and more from the start – this is just not who you are.” He said “Please let me try” I stood my ground.
What we got to near the end of the conversation was that he wants to wait for me to date this guy and see if I really like him – and that he will just wait patiently and if he isn’t the guy – he will sweep in and be the guy I need him to be. He said “you will never be alone again because if this guy isn’t for you – I will be the guy for you”
Well, easy to lose much?
Boy, Kat – I think you need to play up the chapter where you know when to walk away a little bit more. I walked. He’s now groveling. I never in my LIFE expected this. Also I got a good night call and a good morning text – and he knows I am going on a date with the new guy tonight. He told me to have fun and let him know how it is. WHO IS THIS GUY?
I was with my EUM for 2.5 years EXACTLY. First six months I was really open to dating others and then I walked away from him and then he started liking all my fb pictures and I reached out and we got “back” together. At that point – I considered us exclusive – not sure if he did. At a year mark he called me his girlfriend but I felt in name only – not in actions.
Katarina Phang – he tried to tell me he has no one else. I laughed. I said I have seen your facebook fan club and your phone has never entered my house, I am not stupid. He then said he never did anything physical – I said I can believe that but you know you have a dozen girls in your phone feeding your ego … he said but I only want ONE girl now. Well it’s too late for that but … nice to hear. I just felt my value …..
And Kat, I did say I would be a success story – only I didn’t know that it would be with a new guy – an EA guy!! In fact, I started the rotation hoping it was the magic pill to get my emotionally unavailable man to wake up and pay attention – only now I could CARE LESS about him. Wow.”
At no time should you ever freak out or beg a man to give you what you want. If he’s not ready, you keep dating. Once you get a guy stepping up and asking you to be his girlfriend, you say adios to him.
That’s the best way to walk away from a situasionship. No talk. No drama. It’s all actions, the language that men understand. That’s how I walked away from my EUM too when my boyfriend claimed me.
This class on rotation was a blast. This is to explain it to you once and for all why rotation is what high-value women who love themselves first and foremost do. Nothing screams like self-love more that keeping a rotation till a guy steps up and claims you. That’s how you keep your standards high without hardening your boundaries.
You are easy to be with, soft and inviting yet you are easy to lose. If he snoozes he loses. You keep the guy you adore (who isn’t committed yet) on his toes knowing any lucky guy can snatch you away from him.
So you a have a “boyfriend” who can get off for 4-5 days without talking to you? Then he’s a bf in words only. Even my non-boyfriend EUM called me 2-3 times a day!!! You can keep deluding yourself or you can start taking charge of your happiness independent of any particular guy.
Remember this, men are as faithful as their options (Chris Rock will stop here but I will add “when they’re not committed to you”). And that’s the reason they’re not committed to you: they want to exercise their options while having you wait on the side till they’re done playing. It’s not bad that they’re not ready to be in a relationship with you, but it’s not bad either that you can’t commit to a guy who hasn’t committed to you.
When to walk away from a relationship isn’t such a mystery. You know it when you’re ready. And it’s not when you feel all pissy for not getting the commitment you want. It’s when you have better options the way Jessica and I did.
Never make a guy a priority when you are only an option.
UPDATE: Jessica was proposed to on Sept 27, 2015! She shared: “Well… I came to Kat a year and a half ago full of anxiety. Six months ago my anxiety ruled me and I knew I was the only one who could change it. So kicking and screaming and many classes later, ( and several bitch slaps from some lovely ladies here) I started a rotation. Six months later, leaned back me has had her EUM begging for a second chance and then this weekend… I have been proposed to- not by my EUM but by an EA guy I put into my rotation when I finally stopped undervaluing myself.” So she is engagement no. 27 this year!
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