Should I text him or should I not? Whoever thought that would be a one million dollar question in today’s dating and relating. A lot of women are blatherers when it comes to texting. They text long paragraphs with lots of abbreviations and repeatedly before he has a chance to respond. That takes away so much mystery out of your persona and with it his attraction for you.
Texting has become an integral part of our communication these days that just like emailing a set of etiquettes needs to be established. Believe it or not, guys sense your character and personality and judge you through your texting habits so a mishap here and there might kill a blooming interest on their part. If you find yourself thinking, should I text him, usually the answer is no. Let me explain.
When dating you always have to keep in mind that first impressions matter and mystery is a big part of attraction so your texting habits can increase or decrease your value in his eyes. (Are you a compulsive texter?) You need this program to keep you poised and grounded so you will attract him more and keep his attraction alive.)
So answer these questions and find out if you are the sort of woman who can grab a man’s attention through your texting habits:
1. Do you always respond as soon as you get a text?
2. Do you initiate texting more than he does?
3. Do you text a lot of trivia or unimportant stuff just to chat or get his attention?
4. Do you fire another text or two when you haven’t got a response to your previous text?
5. Do you act pushy by asking “where are you?” or “what are you doing?” or “are you there?” or “why are you not responding?” or “did you get my text?”
6. Do you always have the last word?
7. Do you always write in long paragraphs, get too much into detail (something that has to be reserved for in-person or phone conversation) and use many abbreviations that not everyone understands?
8. Do you often get no response or a very short one like “k?”
If the majority to your answers is YES, girl, you really need to read this because likelihood is you have been pushing away so many guys because you simply don’t act like a high-value woman. He stops calling and texting exactly because of that (and some other reasons as outlined here). If you answered yes and are wondering should I text him, then probably no.
This is how you come across:
2. High maintenance and controlling
3. Uninteresting because you are way too available and have too much time on your hands; you don’t have a life.
4. Talk too much and are too self-absorbed.
5. You are a guy chaser and don’t have many options. You are desperate.
You may not be any of the above but that’s the exact impression you create with your communication style.
Throughout the years I have refined my texting habits from a more available texter to the one who avoids it unless it’s really necessary. And it has worked because it changes the vibe I project out and what is perceived by guys. I become the “elusive” confident woman who has too much an exciting life to tend to texting (learn more about the timeless art of being “hard to get” that will drive him crazy with desire for you).
You may or may not, the point is when you emit that kind of aura, your value soars in a man’s eyes. A man wants a prize, whether or not he wants to admit it. He wants what other men want and what he has to work for to have.
My boyfriend pursued me because of this. Not just texting but also I’m scarce in other means of communication as well. When he first texted me, it took me a day to respond and honestly it wasn’t on purpose but I simply wasn’t hooked to my cellphone. I certainly didn’t wonder should I text him or not.
Remember, scarcity and mystery are parts of attraction. When you make a guy wonder ’cause you are not easy to figure out or read, you make him intrigued. When he is, it means he’s thinking about you and a guy likes a woman he can’t help thinking of. That’s the sort of woman he perceives as high-value and worth pursuing.
HERE’S THE REAL TRUTH: He’s Really Not That Complicated…If Only You Knew What Buttons To Push
Should I Text Him: Seven Deadly Tips to Build Attraction Through Texting
So say you just met a cute guy and you really like him, here are Seven simple tips that will make you stand out from the rest and make him yearn for you:
1. Vary your response time, be a little unpredictable. Sometimes you wait a day, some other times a few hours, sometimes right away. But being always quick in your response doesn’t create intrigue in his mind. Don’t let him take you for granted.
2. Let him initiate most of the time. Leaning back applies in every situation with men. Even you need to lean back in your ways of communication (if you want to know more about the power of leaning back in igniting intense attraction in men, click here…it will change your life). If he texts you regularly, you can initiate once (as a part of being unpredictable) say for every 5-6 texts he initiates. If he texts you “good morning” or “good night” every day, beat him to the punch one morning/evening by doing it first.
3. Keep your texts simple, short and sweet. Be direct cause guys don’t like reading long messages.
4. Not every text needs a response. Most often than not, let him have the last word. If he gives you an emoticon as a response for example, say a smiley, it’s time to end the convo by saying nothing back.
5. Don’t initiate text if he hasn’t texted you in a while. A guy won’t forget you just because he hasn’t heard from you. You want a guy who steps up and leads so if he’s slacking in his way of communication, you taking charge in the matter won’t make him want to do it more. Quite the opposite it dampens his motivation to do so. That’s why you shouldn’t over-invest in a guy and be ahead of him with your wild fantasy and imagination. Always in the “wait and see” mode and observe if he’s consistent. This way you screen out a lot of time wasters.
6. Don’t be a bore. Be imaginative, creative, witty and flirtatious in your response. Instead of saying “what’s up?” you can instead say “tell me something that makes my knees weak” or something playful like “do you know that kissing burns 68 calories/hr?” out of the blue or “I had a long day today. I need something stiff.” But don’t overdo it either ’cause then you appear overacting. Here are more tips to create a goddess persona with your texting.
7. Always know when to stop and leave him wanting MORE each and every time. Many women are blatherers and lack of self-restraint when it comes to talking and communicating. Women like this turn men off before anything blooms.
Should I Text Him If He Has Stopped Texting Or Doesn’t Text As Much Anymore
First of all, don’t get ahead of yourself. Just because a guy is trying to win your heart by wooing you and texting you around the clock, it doesn’t mean it will continue or you should expect it to be so. The truth is nobody can sustain back and forth texting around the clock for an extended period of time unless he/she has nothing else better to do but texting all day.
Stop reading so much into it. In fact expect that at some point his amount of texting will dwindle and hopefully by then, if you haven’t screwed it up, the relationship has evolved into something more meaningful.
If he stopped texting, it could be that he’s just taking a break. Let him have it. If you’ve been out on a date or few dates, it’s to be expected that he will take some time off/pull back to process his feelings. There is nothing to worry about. No need to text him wondering where he is.
If you haven’t been on a date or he hasn’t asked you out, why do you want to be e-maintained anyway? It’s a waste of time.
Need to decode his texting habits more….read this.
Bottom line is this, when you are free of anxiety and expectations and isn’t a pushy person by nature and not a text addict, shooting him a text first once in a while if you haven’t heard from him in a while and you two have established some sort of connection, it won’t do any harm. If you are free from anxiety or expectations, you won’t be wondering should I text him, you will just know.
The key is, as I mentioned, you should have no expectation and you are okay whatever he might do after (either responding or not to your text). By this time he has known your personality and character through your texting habits, among other ways, and he won’t think any differently just because you touch base every now and then when he’s slacking.
At the end of the day, you will know if a guy is into you and want to pursue this. So trust in the process. Lean back and relax and keep your life full and exciting so you are not always hooked to your cell (here’s how to be a man’s MUSE without even trying so hard).
Questions? Please comment below if you have any.
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