How To Mirror A Man
Learning how to mirror a man may be one of the most powerful tools in your relationship toolbox. When a relationship starts to heat up, it’s important that a woman doesn’t get ahead of a man’s timeline. Sometimes a woman may mentally rush to the “finish line” in her relationship, i.e. exclusivity, living together, marriage, etc.
While a man may not be against getting to the finish line one day, he will often prefer to take the “scenic route”, and not be in any rush to settle down. When a woman tries to hurry her man to catch up with her, she may get upset with him, nag him, pout, withhold love, and do other unattractive things that only make a man pull away. The smarter thing for a woman to do is to mirror her man, and enjoy the current moment.
Speaking of the current moment, the important thing about mirroring a man is paying attention to the effort that your man is making right now, and matching that. You need to observe “What Is”, what is really happening in your relationship, not just the fantasies that you may be projecting onto it.
When you have taken a minute to stop and observe a man’s actions, you get a clear idea of how much time, effort, and energy he is investing into you and your relationship. If he is pursuing you, initiating contact, moving the relationship forward, you mirror him by responding positively. If you realize that you are giving him more effort than he is giving you, then that may be your clue to put your attention elsewhere.
Mirroring a man is not tit-for-tat, or like playing a game of “Monkey See, Monkey Do.” Mirroring is about noticing how much effort he’s putting forth on your behalf, and matching that. Whenever you hear yourself saying, “I feel like I’m being taken for granted”, or “I always do ____, and he never does ____!”, these are signs of over-investment on your part. The only way for you to tip the scales back in your favor is for you to lean back, and give more time and energy to yourself.
How to Mirror a Man in a Relationship!
There are many ways to mirror a man, and continuing to do so throughout the course of your relationship can keep you both sane. Sometimes a man may be in a bad mood, or acting aloof. In this situation, you do not mirror him exactly. You mirror him by ignoring his funky attitude, or finding somewhere else to be until he is in a better mood. This is not the time to baby or cuddle him. You do not need to be grumpy too, or lecture him about his moodiness and how it affects you. Leave him alone to sort himself out, and he will return in a better mood.
Actions speak louder than words, and a man’s actions (and inactions) will tell you everything you need to know, so notice his efforts and match them. If he hasn’t called or texted you lately, don’t “Like” his posts on Facebook to remind him that you exist. If he is not reaching out for you, don’t reach out to him. If a man hasn’t communicated with you in the last three weeks and tomorrow is his birthday, don’t get him a gift. For that matter, if your guy wasn’t interested in celebrating your birthday, don’t buy him a gift to “inspire him” or make him feel guilty. And definitely don’t go out of your way to plan a surprise birthday party for him!
How To Mirror a Man You are Dating!
While you are dating, you mirror a man by maintaining the same level of commitment in your guy. If his personal timeline for commitment seems to take longer than yours (which is likely), you will need to adjust your expectations so that you don’t come across as impatient and/or needy. If you live in the same city as your guy, and only see him every two weeks, he may not be ready for exclusivity. If he hasn’t introduced you to his friend and/or family yet, don’t rush to introduce yours to him. If he hasn’t mentioned being exclusive, don’t act like a girlfriend. If he’s dating others, you keep dating too. Mirroring a man’s commitment level will keep you grounded in reality.
In a committed relationship, mirroring a man means not getting ahead of where he is in the relationship’s timeline. A man knows that women want to get married, but he wants to be the one to decide. When it comes to making major moves such as moving in together or getting married, a man will feel more comfortable when you do not get ahead of him. So let him be the one to bring these topics up.
For most men, if things are going great between you now, that means the future will be good too. Keep things fun by enjoying the moment, and mirroring your man’s efforts.
Do you find yourself rushing your guy to the altar? Do you attach to men who constantly say that they’re not ready for a relationship? If so, check out Katarina’s Monthly Membership Audio!
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Guest Blog Post by a Member of Katarina’s group, Carla Cartwright!