He Texts but Never Makes Plans – E-tethering Anyone?

he texts but doesn't make plans

So you met a guy, maybe on a dating site, maybe even in real life and he now has your number.  He texts, you reply, he texts, you reply.  Seems to be going well, only problem is after a few days or a week, you realize he texts but never makes plans to actually see you.  What is a girl to do?

This often happens after you have spent some time with a guy, maybe even a few dates.  You think he must be interested, after all he is still texting you, maybe even every single day.  He takes the time to text you good morning or text you goodnight.  Maybe asks how is your day.

You tell yourself, he wouldn’t be texting me if he wasn’t interested.  Maybe he even tells you he is busy or has a work or family crisis going on, so you justify why he texts but never makes plans.

What do you do when a guy texts you but never asks you out?

Many will ask, what can I do to get him to ask me out.  They are thinking what can they say that will turn this around.  This is the wrong mindset when it comes to guys that just text but never make the effort to spend time with you.

By trying to get him to ask you out or planning and scheming of ways to get his interest you are trying to control the outcome.  Control being the keyword.  Control and relating with men do not mix, at all.

When he texts you but doesn’t make plans for weeks or even months at a time, it’s time to face the reality of what is and not what you wish it was.  If he isn’t putting in an effort to spend time and get to know you in person, his options are still open.

You may not be the only woman he is dancing this dance with.  He may just be E-tethering you.

What is E-tethering?

E-tethering or E-maintained is when a man does just what we are talking about.  He texts but never makes plans. He gives the least amount of emotional and physical investment possible to keep you as an option. If he wanted to see you or make plans with you, he would.

He may even ask to meet you last minute or just call up and want to come over late at night.  Since he has been texting you every day, even calling you by name ( being called by name subliminally creates the feel of connection), you say yes.  You think here is your chance.

Problem is, now your brain chemicals are activated into deeper attraction and when he goes back to his E-tethering, you allow it to continue, until next time.  Vicious cycle it is!

How To Handle When He Texts but Never Makes Plans

You mirror his behavior.  In other words, you keep your options open as well.  Put him on the back burner, keep dating others.  You stop wasting your emotional energy on a guy who isn’t investing into you. If all he can do is text you, maybe you become too busy on your other dates to reply to these mindless texts.

He will notice.  It’s not what you do that gets a man’s attention, it’s often more of what you don’t do.  Let him E-tether other girls, while you be easy to lose.  Lean way back into your feminine energy, not into controlling energy.  Controlling energy is when you try to think of ways to get him to ask you out.

Controlling energy is masculine and that never works on men.  It’s the leaning back, easy to lose energy that gets a man’s attention.

So next time you encounter a man you find interesting and he starts texting but never makes plans or asks you out, just care less. Don’t try to force it or build up hope.  If you have a dating rotation, you will hardly even notice.

Do you find yourself attaching to men that don’t step up?  Do you attach to men that don’t attach to you?  Do you find yourself trying to make things  happen with men.  You need to check out Katarina’s Leaning Back and Cultiving Feminine Mystique Workshop here. 

Photo credit Deposit Photo.



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