Friends With Benefits: How To Turn It Around From Casual To Committed
My client Mandy has finally tasted what I taste every day: the great feeling of being grounded and not seeing the world from a place of lack or fear that gets in the way of all her relationships and the conscious decision to get off the drama train and get on the peace train instead. That’s how she turned her FWB relationship around.
Here’s the wisdom of my client Mandy who sums up so beautifully everything I teach that has given her the beautiful relationship she has always desired (remember her story how she got her guy to step up and claim her after almost 2 years here):
“My EUM now my boyfriend met my parents yesterday for a BBQ at my house. My man cooked for us showing off his awesome cooking skills! What a milestone of a year and half of being an EUM, and now he’s committed to me and his divorce is finalised in two weeks! I can honestly say if it wasn’t for Katarina Phang and her coaching and books I wouldn’t be where I am. Kat knows her stuff and teaches you about men!!
What I’ve learned from Katarina Phang:
And this can be applied in all areas of your life. I wish I knew this stuff years and years ago!!
*The work starts and ends with you…- this means that if you’re not happy with you, your life your goals, friends, family etc, your outlook is negative, and your perception is out of whack, you will rely on others for happiness and to make you feel better. Wrong. No one else can make you happy except you and when you do the work of liking yourself and learning to boost your own confidence and self esteem you will never need anyone in your life. Of course we all desire to be around others and have relationships but you know deep down within yourself that you are at peace and happy with you that the whole world wouldn’t end if you were on your own.
*Drop expectations and assumptions – Never speculate or assume things . This negative outlook is not productive and isn’t of positive energy when you are thinking negatively what you focus on expands and you begin to live in your own head. Never expect anything from anyone, be the best person you can be but never expect someone else to do anything. Be humble, courteous and do things for others because you want to, not because they owe you something in return. Love without expectations and sit with that energy. It’s a beautiful thing when you sit in pure non judging, fearless love. The anxiety, fears and negative thought patterns will shift, and you will begin to vibrate at a higher frequency which means more positive things will begin to change and happen in your life.
*Never chase – Leaning back letting a man be a man and allowing them to flow the relationship, you will be surprised how much a man will give to you and for fill your desires when you change the way you approach things. Leaning back is safe. It protects and nurtures relationships as well as our power within the relationship. If he isn’t taking it forward, move on, never settle for crumbs, you are high value and when you treat yourself as high value everyone else does.
*Learn to be quiet- you don’t have to entertain the drama train or be there for every argument. Learn to take a breath, calm down and use feeling messages if applicable. Always think before you speak, a trick I use is a filtering technique: I check in with myself to see if my response is emotional or logical. When you run off emotions it repels men, when you’re calm and self assured, you learn to pick and choose your battles.
*Be comfortable with space – Give men space and time. It’s crucial men have their alone time as well as not being questioned for it. Don’t freak out or think he’s pulling away, it’s in your absence that men miss and adore you more. Giving men the reigns makes them feel in control but really both people are in control. Men like to chase and they like to know they’re winning.”
Mandy’s transformation is staggering to say the least. I’ve been working so closely with her for a while and kinda “knew” what to expect from her: neurotic, an over-analyzer, a worrier, tend to be depressed, reactive, needy, mistrustful, impatient, pushy and all that jazz.
So when she wrote this in the support group just two days ago, I was dumbfounded. She has literally transformed into a beautiful butterfly overnight (or it seems like that). I was fooled by this oversight.
I’m amazed and impressed. She has finally tasted what I taste every day: the great feeling of being grounded and not seeing the world from a place of lack or fear that gets in the way of her all relationships and the conscious decision to get off the drama train and get on the peace train instead.
Want to experience this enlightenment and liberation? Sign up for my Journey Inward group coaching in which you will learn all these with 19 other wonderful women (I decided to make more room thanks to the enthusiasm to help more women who are in serious need for transformation).
I’m excited to share all I know about a new way of BEING with you all, ladies. This is the place where you will magnetize all the great things in life: men (and “the One”), relationship, money and more happiness. This is a place of abundance in which you’ll never feel or operate on the basis of lack anymore. This is a place of heightened frequency from which you will only see possibilities, love and empowerment and attract more of the same. This is a place of feminine power without which the masculine power can’t exist nor rise. This is a place where all goddesses are sought after and worshipped. This is the place in which you can’t be harmed nor hurt.
This. Is. Life. Changing.
When you vibrate in a higher frequency you are a magnet to both men and women, romantically or otherwise. That’s the purpose of this group coaching.
And she started by reading my book too, like everyone else. So if you haven’t already read it, I really recommend you to familiarize yourself with my philosophy. The tools and principles in the book work for every dating situation -or even life situation- and with every man.
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