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What to Do When He’s Playing It Cool…

Homepage 2017 Forums The Ladies’ Lounge What to Do When He’s Playing It Cool…

This topic contains 25 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  kathleenrb18 1 day, 20 hours ago.

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  • #2062 Reply

    **Here is a guest article by Mirabelle Summers, but before we go on….Are You Stressed Because He Seems To Be Emotionally Distant?  If So, Grab This Book Now And Change It Overnight!!
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    It’s likely that any girl who’s ever gone out with a guy has probably played that exasperating waiting game after the date. No matter how fun last night was, chances are you’ll have to wait the requisite several days before he calls you up again.

    If you’ve found yourself in this situation, take comfort in the fact that you’re SO not alone. “Why did he even bother to get my phone number and ask me out if he’s taking so long to call back?”, many peeved women have cried out.

    Does he seem aloof, a bit detached, or cooler than ice? Is his distance bordering on rejection?

    You should take a chill pill yourself. He’s merely following standard procedure.

    If there’s one dating rule that a lot of men stick to, it’s the one that forbids them from appearing too eager or needy.

    From a certain perspective, they actually treat girls they like (i.e. YOU) in the same way as they act towards other men: cool and composed. They’re not about to break their calm exterior in front of the people they want respect from.

    Sounds flattering right? Well, you should be. When he wants you to like him by not being too obvious about his own feelings, it makes sense in an ironic kind of way.

    The way he sees it, approaching a woman can only result in acceptance, rejection, or that hard-to-get dance. In light of the last two possibilities, he’s obviously going to put up a sort of defense.

    When you look at things this way, it’ll easier for a frustrated girl to understand why he’s acting like the slippery little devil that he is. After all, we’ve been taught not to be so all-out ourselves.

    You see, men and women have different ways to avoid being too emotional or needy. For the smart girl, she knows not to bug his guy about any discussions on their feelings or the direction of the relationship. She also doesn’t nag him to bring her along during his night out with the boys.

    While the guys are the ones to pursue us, it’s also our natural role to keep them attracted without forcing ourselves on them.  We’re certainly not going to send him running with a clingy attitude.

    We know that acting that way will only make him respect us less and leave all the sooner.

    From a guy’s point of view, he doesn’t want to let you onto the fact that winning you over is important to him. He’ll want you to think it’s no biggie either way.

    If you agree to go out on another date with him, then great. If not, it’s just as fine with him – on the outside at least. To him, he’ll do all that he can to seem like he goes out on dates all the time.

    He believes that a woman will look down on him if he makes a big fuss about going out with her. He especially doesn’t want you to know that he hears a choir of angels sing when a great woman like
    you gives him the time of day.

    He’s not going to jump the gun and get all mushy with you right from the get-go. Your guy is keeping himself out of that “creepy vibe” territory that might make him seem as less of a man in your eyes.

    Men are generally onto the notion that we want a guy who’s mature and in control. They want to be the kind of man that takes charge and doesn’t fret over the small stuff.

    In short, they don’t want us to see them sweat. Don’t we do that too?

    Men equate eagerness and being emotional as a sign of weakness. If he’s interested at all in sweeping you off your feet, your guy is gonna try his damn best to keep his manhood intact.

    As you’ve learned by experience however, they have a funny way of doing all that (like making you wait ’til the cows come home!).

    Let’s face it, men have egos and they don’t like having it smashed to oblivion when you turn them down. By acting like he doesn’t care, he doesn’t have to fall flat on his face when he gets a bitter “NO”.

    Besides, he knows that the lack of something provokes the need for it. He’s making himself scarce so you end up longing for his presence and start thinking about him all the time. Men want something they can’t have, and they’re not afraid to apply the same principle on us “clueless” girls.

    Endless articles have preached against the dangers of being a nice guy, and men have taken heed. To some extent, they’d rather go for that bad boy angle which they think is appealing to women.

    Would you want to go out with a desperate guy who hasn’t been in the presence of woman for a long time? Of course not, and he knows this all too well.

    The unspoken truth is that the women are the gatekeepers. No matter how you look at it, it’s ultimately up to you to either turn him down or give him the green light. Guys are aware of this but will act like it doesn’t matter to them.

    So what do you do when he throws you that “I’m no wimp” attitude?  First of all, don’t resent him for not calling back so quickly.  Like what I told you earlier, it’s all part of the plan.

    Guys have learned to develop thick skins to avoid being burned by rejection. Remember, we’re just as capable of playing hard to get.  Can you really blame him for doing the same?

    Right now, he’s still weighing things like you are. If you like him enough and want him to stick around, he will. All you have to do is send off those little subtle signs that you’re interested.

    Your only concern at the start is if he’s going to keep calling you up and ask how you are. If he doesn’t call back as soon as you’d like, it’s nothing personal.

    Men have learned to handle rejection in the same manner. Quality guys have the mindset not to take it against women if we don’t respond to their advances.

    Soon enough, he’ll only be able to conceal his true feelings for so long. The best advice I can give is for you to play it cool yourself. When he finally calls you, answer him warmly and enthusiastically.

    You don’t have to sound like a high school girl on a caffeine rush when you pick up – just interested enough to let him know his call is welcome. You might think he’s perfectly calm when you tell him
    that Saturday night at 8:00 PM is alright.

    Little do you know that he’s doing cartwheels and patting himself on the back after you hang up.

    When he plays it cool, think of it as a good sign. He’s probably testing the waters and seeing how you respond. Deep down, he’ll want to know how much you really care.

    If he feels that you’re open to the idea of having him around, he’ll come knocking on your door. You don’t see it now, but give him a reason to keep coming back and it won’t be long until he opens up about his true feelings.

    Your Friend,

    Mirabelle Summers

    P.S. If you want more tips about how to unleash your inner goddess
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    About the authors:

    Mirabelle Summers and Slade Shaw are the  inimitable duo of dating and relationship experts
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    personal lives, social lives, and all interactions  with men, has inspired and strengthened their
    followers the world over.

    MeetYourSweet.com is a network dedicated to  giving you the ultimate toolkit to creating the
    success you crave with men AND with life. No matter who you are, we can help you become the
    best you can be at relating with the opposite sex.   MeetYourSweet has thousands of satisfied customers
    who have used their life tools to help them kickstart their personal and social transformation.

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  • #2063 Reply


  • #123144 Reply


    Hiya! I have been seeing this guy for a week, he’s the first guy I have been seeing after just coming out of a long term relationship, I really like him he’s just perfect my type, he says he likes me too, we have such a good time when we are together but when we are not I don’t hear from him, he reads my texts but doesn’t reply. Is he playing it cool? I know I need to try that, he does come across like he just likes to go with the flow! I find it hard with the playing it cool because I like him that much I am scared of losing him. It’s the first time I have felt like this before with someone, as my last relationship was a disaster. So shall I just wait till he texts me instead?

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