April 25, 2012 at 3:04 am #2001
STOP PRESS!! You might want to read about this big news first: I just published my new book and women are so hyped about it already because they see result with their men in an instant!
He’s Really That Into You, He’s Just Not Ready: The Ultimate Guide to Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men and Beat Them at Their Own Games
Some women are natural Goddesses. They have this certain aura that just emanates effortlessly that intrigues any man that comes across their path. It comes from unwavering self-love and self-esteem.
And again, these women may not be stunningly beautiful. They are attractive beyond the physical. They have personality, self-confidence and charisma that make men addicted to them. They embrace their feminine charm and sexuality. They are not using their sexuality as a bargaining chip but a vehicle for bonding and self-expression.
Being High Value Is Not What You Think It Is
A high value woman is not the one who withholds sex. She is passionate about life and has such an aura about her that no matter what happens with her relationship with him, she will come out on top. She’s a powerful woman, yet she is soft.
Whatever she does -whether being vulnerable or independent-, it comes from the place of power and self-confidence. She doesn’t bind him, instead she makes it clear that he’s free to leave anytime to pursue his happiness. She cares about his happiness as much as hers, but most of all she doesn’t need him to be happy.
This relentless self-confidence and well-roundedness is everything secure guys want in a woman. That is how he perceives “high value” and he knows it that a man will move a mountain to have a woman like that in his life. (Sign up for my brand new Leaning Back and Cultivating Feminine Mystique Workshop to be that woman)
She also doesn’t play hard to get (if that means making him jump through hoops. Read the correct way of playing hard to get which in fact will create intense attraction in him). She doesn’t need to. She shows interest. She thinks the world of him, in fact. She makes him flattered. He feels great being with her because she looks up to him. He feels like a man and a hero to her. She can’t get enough of him and it is contagious that he has no other choice but to reciprocate.
Yet, she has her own life. She lives a full life. She is as happy to come see and spend time with him, as when it’s time to leave and do her own things in her own space. She enjoys her me-time and she creates beautiful things separate from her relationship to him.
And yet she is wise enough to know that men, even those that she is so into, have insecurities too. Realizing that gives her the “upper hand,” hence while she thinks highly of him she doesn’t put him on a pedestal either. She has firm boundaries and respect her own needs and feelings and make them known in a non-threatening way to him. When she is obviously in love with herself without coming across as a narcissistic bitch, he’ll be the one who puts her on a pedestal. Every compliment she says about him will flatter him so much.
And she does compliment him when it’s due and it’s genuine. She builds him up. She is loyal and supportive. She has his back and doesn’t try to change him. She accepts him, warts and all.
And it’s addictive. He wants more of it. From you. Because you are special. Because you are a high-value woman whose opinion matters so much to him.
A High Value Woman Is Passionate In And Out Of Bed
Guys are not scared by our emotions. If they’re into you, they are addicted to your emotional expressions so long they’re done in a balanced way without the drama. A touch of vulnerability and detachment works wonder to create a sense of mystery that will make him yearn more for you.
Women’s capacity to feel deeply and express it is fascinating to men. It actually draws him closer to you. It’s not something they regularly come across among their peers.
So a high value woman feels safe and comfortable to express her deepest feelings and desire. She’s totally present and in the moment. She has no agenda other than enjoying whatever life throws at her at any given moment. It’s a rare quality that will make him so intrigued and think more about her when she’s not around.
She also captures his imagination in bed. The world fades away when they kiss. Men connect on the most visceral level through sex. That’s the most fundamental way for them to feel intimacy and total acceptance as a man. And when a woman can show him that he has it all to make her happy and satisfied and yearn for more in the sack, he feels so great about himself. He feels safe and closer to her as a result. And he’ll think more of her when she’s not around.
A man will stick with a woman who constantly makes him feel good about himself and about being with her.
It’s a simple science.
Want to hear more? Listen to the marvelous class I conducted on “How To Be High Value And Easy To Lose And How It Can Inspire Men To Step Up” here.
Ready for this?
Investments You Can’t Miss
Now, let’s get to the bottom of this. Maybe it’s new to you but this is exciting! Do you know that a guy can be very attracted and deeply in love with you, but STILL not want to move the relationship forward? (I know, I know…I can sense a few heads nodding in zealous agreement here!).
Whether “forward” means calling you for another date to saying “I do.” his “forward” decision making
process HAPPENS IN HIS GUT! You long for that ring on your finger? Find out how to inspire your man to commit:
Wondering how to make him fall MADLY in love with YOU? Here’s the secret. And this one to really know how men view commitment and what moves them into that direction
What’s He Really Thinking? Discover secrets about men most women will never know but men wish they knew!!
Do you know what magnetizes men to a woman? Be a guy magnet.
So he left and you are left devastated. It’s not the end of the world. Get yourself back first and then read this:
Your cell and your fingers are your friends to bring romance back into your relationship:
May 26, 2013 at 1:02 am #2003
I like everything you write and what we as woman have to become. Beautiful, powerful and content with ourselfs!
As a result with all this, there doesnt exists in me anxiuosness anymore! I am so happy for that.
So I have one question: How do you compliment them without being like mothering them? Like what is the diffrence on flattering them without sounding like their mother?
May 26, 2013 at 6:11 pm #2002
Thank you, Yumi. Compliment them anytime as long as it is genuine and doesn’t sound patronizing/fake. Guys love to be “mothered” to an extent. It is the excess of mothering that they don’t like like nagging, over functioning, etc…
October 6, 2015 at 6:26 am #131204
I’m in a relationship with this guy I am SSO in love with but I don’t think he values me.I need to take control of my jealousy and insecurities cause I can tell I am losing him.I beg him to stay with me and just need a way to turn the tables and make him value me as I don’t want to lose him. Please help me
October 11, 2015 at 3:38 pm #132619
October 11, 2015 at 3:20 pm #132611
When I found Katarina Phang and came to this group I was a complete mess. My drinking was out of control, my anxiety and I was very reactive.
My EUM who brought me here pretty much dumped me, because of my aggressive, masculine, desperate, reactive, and needy ways.
I thought I could never get him back, I went from blowing up his phone, text harassing, everything, you name it! He had blocked me from everything, social networking sites, phone and ALL.
I tried to hold on too tight and pushed him away. I seen him with other women, but following Kat’s advice I didn’t react, even though I was dying inside. It was close to 6 months of not having contact, I would see him here and there, but it was like he was quick to get away from me, until I finally decided to do something different, I stayed in this group, looked at posts from other women, started working on my anxiety, gaining more patience, reading Kat’s book, blog posts, and following Kat’s advice.
Well it turned around, my energy changed, yes I still have some anxiety, but I control it better.
He contacted me about a month ago, we started talking, and seeing each other, everything feels different now, he’s calling more, his tone is different, he seems happy when he speaks to me, and guess what? He’s been throwing out the ” I love you” word and he said I’m more chill and laid back. He smiles at me now, hugs me and gives me kisses. It all turned around after I let him go, I knew I loved him, I wanted him happy, I knew I had to let go because I wasn’t making him happy being toxic and pushy, I wasn’t making myself happy, chasing after him.
Ladies if I can go from bat shit crazy, drama queen, toxic, to more calmer, non reactive, you can too! If my situation turned around, yours can too!
I realized I was my own enemy. Men are not mean assholes, work on you, it’s true, once you change your ways, he will change how he reacts to you.
Be soft, lean back, have patience, mirror him, let him lead, be calm, non reactive, sweet and lure with honey. Kat knows how to speak a man’s language, she understands men. You can turn your life around, you can become a goddess, believe in yourself and do the work.
It feels good to lean back and have a man pursue you, that’s how it’s supposed to be, allow it. If I can change, you can too. Listen to Kat ladies, she is truly the “Man Whisper”
Katarina you are an angel and truly the best, Hugs.