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Against The Prevalent Wisdom: Guys Won’t Disappear After Sex If He’s Into You!

Homepage 2017 Forums General Relationship Discussion Against The Prevalent Wisdom: Guys Won’t Disappear After Sex If He’s Into You!

This topic contains 10 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  marioak1 2 days, 19 hours ago.

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  • #2131 Reply

    Wherever I go in dating forum women typically find a dilemma in sex and what it means to them vis a vis the men. To me, when you’re so into each other, sex is obvious and it won’t be an issue. How can you stay away from sex when the chemistry/connection is so strong and beckoning at you both every second you’re together? I’d say, forget the rule, go for it and enjoy it. He won’t disappear if you two hit it off.

    He will be stupid if he does since instant connection is rare (and men know it too even when they’re perpetually horny and always have sex in their mind but sex with women they are into is so much different than just sex with any woman).

    Sex is such a natural -and vital- part of how we connect. If you’re doing it right, you as a woman should be receiving pleasure too and it’s healthy. Plus the more you practice the more skillful you are as a lover. It’s an important skill set for a long term relationship. So what is there to lose by having sex in the way of forming a solid relationship with a guy you’re into? The two, in fact, are natural and go hand in hand.

    I think Americans -especially the women- are generally conflicted about sex due to perhaps the Christian values most stick to or grew up with. Many say that they get attached when they have sex. I tend to believe that it’s your expectation of your own attachment that does it, not the attachment itself. As well as definitely the expectation that the guys will reciprocate that feeling as well.

    I usually don’t have that kind of expectation, everything is about enjoyment of the moment. If he disappears, fine…I didn’t think he was a boyfriend material either so nothing was lost. And there will be no attachment to mourn over since it’s too early to get attached to a guy who disappears after a one-night stand. But the ones we had mutual great chemistry with would always stay even after sex on first dates.

    (Disclaimer: I’m not advocating sex when you are not ready or not feeling totally comfortable with it. Admittedly, sex is much more personal for us women because we are being penetrated which is akin to being “violated.” Only *you* know when the right time is and every woman/circumstance is different so as I always say there is no one-rule-fit-all when it comes to this very personal and intimate subject matter.  And if you genuinely feel that sex in an at least exclusive relationship is for you to go, then by all means go for it.)

    Hence, it’s not when you have sex but rather whether he’s into you or not. Guys always want to/are ready to have sex even when they’re not that into you. So if you know that the sex might or might not lead to anything but you feel like it it, I’d say go for it. Do it for your own selfish reasons.

    I know for sure that sex is a vehicle for bonding when he’s so into you. It’s really very important so I don’t understand women who want to keep the men waiting even when both of them are so obviously crazy about each other. It feels like game playing to me.

    Generally, perhaps, most men will say when surveyed that when to have sex will affect how they feel/think about the women, but I think it’s only because they’re presented with a general situation not a specific one in which they feel so drawn to a woman. When the latter is the case, the fact that you are so sexual and enjoying it so much gives you so much more power (my own experience). He will literally eat out of your hand! Which man doesn’t want a sex goddess to be his woman? It’ll be a conflict of interest for him not to want it!

    Men will make that kind of “calculation” in their heads -she’s easy, half-easy, way too easy- only when they don’t find you all that attractive to begin with to justify their decision not to call back. A man who is only interested in sex won’t wait around for you: he just wants the end result -sex. So when a guy disappears after sex, you know the answer and don’t waste a breath on him, just move on.

    Those men will disappear too when the women didn’t have sex after 3rd (put the number here) date. So, it’s not the sex, it’s whether or not they’re into you!

    And I think it’s a misleading patriarchal value to think that men have that much power over sex (a woman’s decision on/ownership of her own body). It’s actually the opposite. Women control sex. Sexual women are “dangerous” and exciting to guys. Problem is women are made to feel guilty by society for wanting and having sex. The right man for you won’t make you feel that way. The right man will honor your sexuality and love you for who you are.

    If only women realize this, there is no reason whatsoever for guilt and regret for indulging in something very basic to our existence and propagation.

    When a woman releases herself from the prejudiced confine of societal norms (with patriarchal men dictating them), it makes her so much more powerful and attractive. She’s still the high-value women (not “easy” as many people think of) quality men are after because she embodies all the things a man is after in a woman.

    Which man doesn’t want a whole-packaged woman?

    It’s in the men’s best interest to control women’s bodies since women are much stronger sexually than men (we can go on and on long after they’re done:) ). That’s the brief history of why female sexuality is made into such a big stigma.

    Now to know more the secret of making guys wanting you more, a goddess he’s been fantasizing of meeting:

    Click Here!

     

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