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How to Pace Yourself While Dating


how to pace yourself while dating

All kinds of situations can arise when you are dating.  You meet one man that you like a lot and you wish he would move faster. Then there is the man you date that seems to like you more than you like him.  He comes on full force and is ready to be exclusive in the first week or two.  If you know how to pace yourself while dating, you can breeze through about any situation. 

The first situation is more about pacing yourself, the second you pace yourself to pace him or slow him down. You want to pace yourself while dating to give yourself time to observe the man. You may feel this big connection going on, but the truth is, you can feel a strong connection to the wrong man just as easily as you can feel a connection to the right man.  Feeling a connection does not equal he is the man for you.  

I see too many women claiming to feel this connection, they get attached and the man just stops calling or texting, yet they continue to hold onto hope. They are the ones in the group asking questions like how long before he usually contacts you again.  How long after I lean back before he will lean forward. Read more »


Overcome Jealousy in Relationships by Understanding the Emotion


overcome jealousy in relationships

To overcome jealousy in relationships, first we need to explore the emotion.  Jealousy in romantic relationships is a perceived threat that another can or will take away that which you perceive as yours.

The fear that you will lose something that you have become very attached to feels very real.  Jealousy arises out of attachment.  Understand the difference in love vs. attachment.  Love rarely experiences the emotion of jealousy, while attachment will.

Overcome Jealousy in Relationships – Do You Have a Lack Mentality

Jealousy in relationships is experienced by those with a lack mentality or scarcity mindset.  They see not enough as opposed to there is enough to go around for everyone.  They see their partner giving affection or attention to someone else as it taking something away from them.  The reality is we don’t have a limited supply of attention and affection or love.  Giving attention to another does not mean he now has less for you.

When we feel jealousy, something in us is lacking.  It’s not about the source of your jealousy.  The source of your jealousy is just your emotional trigger.  It’s about you.  It’s a sign that you somehow feel as if you are not enough. The fear that someone may be more than you. Read more »


Why He Lies to You – The Truth May Shock You


why do men lie

I think it’s time to put the myth that all men lie to rest or at the very least open you to some insight as to why men lie to you.  The truth of the matter may shock you.  You see lying is not something that is gender specific, it’s a human behavior that is shared by both genders.  Human nature is a funny thing.

Have you ever had a girlfriend that had put on some weight ask you “do I look fat in this?”  Have you ever answered a question like that with a lie?  “Oh no, you look fine.”  Basic human nature does not want to hurt the feelings of another.

If you ask a man a question like this, most of us already know he isn’t going to tell you the truth.  No man in his right mind is going to tell a woman she looks fat.  He knows better and he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, but more than that, he doesn’t want to deal with your reaction. Read more »


When He Says You Deserve Better This Is What He Means


when he says you deserve better

I think we have all heard this line before, when he says you deserve better.  It’s confusing to many women I am sure.  Usually when a woman hears a man say she deserves better or she deserves more she rushes into convincing mode.  She tries to reassure him that he is enough for her.  After reading what it really means when he tells you that you deserve better, hopefully you will never try to convince a man otherwise again.

You may take this as a compliment and I hate to break it to you, but it’s really not a compliment.  Contrary to popular belief, men really don’t want to disappoint you.  When a man says you deserve better, he is trying to warn you ahead of time, hoping you won’t be disappointed when you don’t get your needs met from him.

A man that tells you that you deserve better or that you are too good for him or anything of that nature already knows you are more invested that he is.  He is in a way letting you down easy.  It’s a nice way of telling you, he isn’t able or more likely isn’t willing to give you what he knows you deserve in a relationship. Read more »


Why No Sex Before Commitment Turns Into A Power Struggle That Stalls Your Relationship


Upset pair of lovers.

Are you determined to employ the no sex before commitment policy?  I’m telling you, you’re doing yourself and your relationship a disservice.  If you understand how a guy comes to the decision to commit you won’t even entertain that useless piece of advice. Demanding commitment before sex is creating unnecessary obstacles toward the organic blooming of a relationship.  It is fear and control-based and the antithesis of the organic flowering of a relationship.  It doesn’t work not because the lack of sex.  It doesn’t work because the power struggle that ensues.  You are luring with vinegar, instead of honey.  You are stalling your relationship to progress big time that way.

“Dear Kat,

I am just writing to thank you for your very effective advice and let you know the realizations I have made since coming across your teachings. You have helped me to change my life in a profound way.

(A random funny thing – I listen to your audios at moments when I feel my anxiety creeping up, and quite a few times the audios were pleasantly interrupted by my guy ringing me.) Read more »


Dating More Than One Man is a Single Woman’s Best Friend


dating more than one man

One of the founding principles of the book “He’s That Into You, He’s Just Not Ready” by Katarina “Kat” Phang, is that you do not act like a girlfriend before the man you adore agrees to be your boyfriend. If your guy isn’t offering you a relationship that is exclusive, then there is no need for you to be exclusive to him either. Instead, Kat advises that you keep your options open by dating more than one man with a Dating Rotation.

A Dating Rotation is just like it sounds. You “date” multiple men, and rotate them through your calendar, and through your life. Many women do not like this idea, as they have to have THIS particular guy who they’re waiting on, and it feels “slutty” to date more than one man. But my personal definition of dating is a bit more evolved than that. Read more »


Learning How To Trust In a Man Is Deeper Than Will He Cheat


learning how to trust in a man

Men need to be trusted! You may think learning how to trust in a man is about getting to the point where you no longer worry about if he will cheat on you, but it goes deeper than this, far deeper. Men often pull away when they don’t feel trusted and often it has nothing at all to do with other women or cheating.

I know many a woman who can trust their partner not to cheat, yet can’t let go in everyday life to trust him to get things done, to make good life decision or trust that he honors her or respects her.  She won’t let go in the little things and trust him with them and the result is he feels emasculated and eventually ends the relationship.  Men need your trust!

So humor me please, but I am going to talk about learning how to trust in a man and not bring up cheating or other women again.  There are many little things that women may be doing unknowingly that convey to their man that they don’t trust him.  Make a man feel like a man, and show him you trust him, and you have one of the components of melting his heart.

STOP PRESS:  A HUGE Part of Feminine Magnetism Is The Ability to Trust Cause You Trust Yourself, Learn The Rope

Read more »


All He Talks About Is Sex – Handling Guys That Lead With Sex


all he wants to talk about is sex

If you have done any dating at all, you have experienced guys that lead with sex.  It’s when you give a guy your number and all he talks about is sex.  He may want to know your favorite positions, what you like in bed and he hasn’t even met you yet.  What do you do with these guys and how do you handle it when all he talks about is sex or constantly alludes to sex?

Many women seem to be confused on how to handle these men that open conversations with sex or direct the conversation early on to sexual topics or just outright attempting to sex.  They think if they don’t play along somewhat they will be perceived as a prude.

How Do You Soften Your Boundaries Regarding Men and Sexting?

If you are a follower of this blog or of Katarina’s teachings, you know about softening of your boundaries.  The term gets misinterpreted many times.  Softening of your boundaries does not necessarily mean you don’t have boundaries, it just means you express them in a soft manner,  In other words, when a man does something that you feel inappropriate, like all he talks about is sex, you don’t tear into him and react like you have been deeply offended. You are simply non reactive in your feminine energy as opposed to ballbusting in your masculine energy.

You show him with actions that it’s not pleasing to you.  You change the subject or deflect, or you simply ignore him completely.  No drama.  You accept this behavior or you reject it, it’s that simple.

Accepting and playing along with this sexting game before you have ever met a man isn’t going to make him like you more or up your chances.  Sexting buddies are a dime a dozen and there are lots of women who will entertain him. It’s not likely to make you stand out.

If he drops off the planet because you don’t play along, you weren’t a match to start with and you most likely aren’t on the same page anyway, so it’s not loss for you.  A lot of guys you meet on these dating sites or dating apps are just looking for a hookup.  It’s up to you if that is something you are good with or not.

A high value woman is well aware in the dating process she will often find herself weeding men out.. She knows it’s about observing his behavior and accepting or rejecting.  Me personally, when a man leads with sex, I deflect and ignore the first time he does it.  The way he handles this is what I observe.  If he continues with the sex talk, I simply reject.

Is He Testing You?

When a man starts out talking mostly about sex or wanting to sext or exchange risque pictures, is he testing you?  Perhaps not intentionally, but he does gather information about you by your responses.  If you engage, be prepared he will most likely expect sex. If you don’t engage and he reacts badly, you can feel confident that sex is what he is likely looking for and yes, he was testing to see if you were a likely candidate for his agenda.

Please not that sending nude pictures is never a good idea, ever.  Especially if you don’t know him.  He could share your pics with his buddies or worse, put it out there online somewhere for the world to see. Just don’t do it.  I shiver because some guy out there probably still has pictures of me from you younger naive days. They were Polaroids, but now there are scanners. I could be a porn star and not even know it.

Why Do So Many Guys Lead With Sex?

guys and sextingLots of guys lead with sex.  The term boys will be boys comes to my mind. Men are visual and sex is important to them.  The thing is though, not all guys realize they would actually get more sex if they stopped using sex to lead.  We all know our biggest sex organ is our brain and women are turned on via emotions far more than straight sex talk.

Me personally, when a guy that I am getting to know leads with sex, and all he talks about is sex for the most part, I don’t take him serious at all.  I am aware he doesn’t exactly get how to connect with a woman and frankly I want a man that does know how to do this without leading with sex. I am bored by the sex talk. I prefer to connect before sex.  I prefer to leave these things to the imagination and let things unfold naturally without pushing it. I will weed him out without a second thought.

There is no point in getting bent of of shape or taking it personal when all he talks about is sex or tries to lead with sex.  It happens.  You don’t need to analyze why or ponder why you attract these men.  We all attract these men, we attract all sorts of men.  Attracting a man however does not mean you accept him into your life or your world.

A high Value Woman doesn’t worry about these things.  If she doesn’t care to engage with men that lead with sex before they even meet her, she simply doesn’t.  She sure won’t sit around and worry what these men think of her or try to think how she could turn it around. A high value woman is not so needy for a man’s attention that she entertains men that don’t align with her. she realizes that this is an abundant world and there are other men out there more suited to her and she doesn’t need to settle.   A high value woman simply accepts or rejects!

Have you read the book He is Really That Into You, He’s Just Not Ready:.  It will answer all your dating questions and solve your dating issues and teach you what propels a man to commit.

MORE:  Lure Him With Honey which Is NOT What You Think It Is…TALKING LESS!












When You are Worried About Never Getting Married – Biological Clock Ticking


worried about never getting married

Is your biggest fear the fear of never getting married?  Is your biological clock ticking and you spend your nights worried about never getting married or finding love and having a family? Is this the dream that you have that you feel you have no control over whatsoever?

Fear actually blocks love from entering into our lives.  Our energy is one of desperation when we live in fear and that energy repels love.  Society is partially responsible for this fear, for society teaches that marriage and a family are the normal. The fact however is love comes in many forms and normal has nothing at all to do with it.

When I was 29, I acquired an instant family.  As in I become pregnant.  The Father was not exactly husband material.  Society or rather those around me talked about me as in “poor thing, she has to raise that baby alone.”  People in the church I attended treated me like I was a leper.  They would ask the most inappropriate questions. Read more »


To Become a High Value Woman – Stop These Excuses


become a high value woman

High Value Women are women who are in control of themselves, their life and their emotions.  They don’t make excuses for others as justifications for less than good behavior.  If you want to become a high value woman, you have to stop with the excuses.

We have all been there, in that place where we cared about or loved that one man that just wasn’t quite available to us.  We would hold onto to the good parts of him, hold onto his words or good times where we felt so connected, yet ignore his actions or lack of actions.  We undervalued ourselves.

When we undervalue ourselves, we can’t expect others to value us.  When we accept behavior that is less than and then make excuses to justify said behavior, we are far from high value. Read more »

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