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Heal Your Toxic Relationship By Healing Your Toxic Emotions


One major sign of toxicity is extreme anxiety and reactivity.  People with toxic emotions responded to most of life’s challenges with anger and aggression that leads toward depression.  Through Journey Inward they adopted a different kind of mindset and brought awareness to every movement in their mental space and create a distance between themselves and their thoughts from which they can choose their response.  It’s no longer on autopilot.


I have two most committed students who were in toxic relationships: Rinna and Arabella.  The relationships -understandably- didn’t last, they broke up with their guys.  They seek help and found me around the same time.  They were sick of suffering and they were ready to change.  They absorbed everything I had to teach without resistance. A few months later, around the same time as well, they got back with their exes totally transformed.

Here’s Rinna about her journey: “These classes are just amazing and helping me understand myself so much better. A total transformation of your self, dropping of my ego and coming back to who I really am: anxiety controlled. Read more »


Holiday Blues? Not With These Magnetizing Men Mastery Gifts To Yourself


“OMG Katarina Phang. He just told me over Microsoft communicator that he has been window shopping for an engagement ring! I am crying happy tears right now. I can’t believe it! Kat he was the most EUM I have ever met and here I sit in tears just in shock at the mention of a ring. Wow! I am leaning back. No expectations but wow! This is so life changing Kat! Thank you. I actually love you and haven’t ever met you Kat!” ~Diana, Colorado (participant of Cycle 1 Four Components Of Melting His Heart and Journey Inward, she will be my 12th engagement the past year!!!)


“I only dated my boyfriend for a month before I scared him off and he told me he wasn’t wanting to get into a relationship. I found Kat and started dating other guys for about a month and he came back chasing me… Only took a few weeks of me totally leaning back (and giving up expectations really helped me chill) for him to ask me to be his girlfriend and tell me he had fallen in love with me. We have now been together for a couple of months and it’s the best relationship of my life. I still hang out here and the girls keep me sane when I get a little anxious. Haha. For a man why didn’t want a relationship he sure talks about marriage and babies a lot! Haha xx” ~Debbie, Australia (participant of Cycle 2 Four Components Of Melting His Heart)

Is it December already?  My gosh, 2014 just passed at the blink of an eye.  What a year it has been for me though.  Since Thanksgiving 2013, I have helped giving birth to 11 (eleven) engagements and at least 2 marriages.

And dozens of women getting back with their exes.  Not to mention EUM stepping up and claiming these ladies.  Or them moving on with a new committed guy in tow.

In short, there is always good news every day in my universe.  It keeps me going with my mission. Read more »


Five Ways To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work


Nadya just recently got back together with her long distance ex.  “Katarina Phang, you are a relationship genius! I am eternally grateful! It’s been two months since I found you and your book and began applying and studying your teaching. The best money I have ever spent! The more I have leaned back, the more my ex EUM continues to step up! I am amazed! I have totally focused on myself and my life and he continues to pursue me! He lives out of town, but he visits as much as he can. He recently came into town to take my son to a professional football game that was an additional 3 hours away. Read more »


How To Get Him To Propose Without Much Fuss



“My guy friends, male colleagues and boss consider me “cool” but it’s certainly not for lack of authenticity. But most women seem to react to what’s otherwise a very small thing, feel the need to “say something,” react or tell the guy off or “set boundaries”, when in fact the issue is actually far deeper, either coming from a past hurt or wound, a sense of lack or self esteem/self love deficiency. This causes the woman to think that the guy’s offending behavior (however small) is because he doesn’t really love her, will leave her etc – and so she reacts strongly. This ranges from being late consistently, to not calling, to not moving the relationship along quickly, to seeing an ex etc etc. But if you can go back and readdress a lot of your own issues, you can *authentically* be a cool girl.

And I have to say, that’s one of the most genius part to Kat’s teaching – most dating books tell you to just “be” a cool girl, light and breezy, etc, without giving you the tools how. What I love about Kat’s work, and is missing from others, is that she teaches inner work to address deeper issues as to why we can’t lean back, why we attach/cling to dysfunctional relationships etc.” ~Chelsea, London

The last two weeks are “engagement season” in my community.  Two of my most successful clients got the ring.  I always knew they would eventually get there.

First it’s my client Chelsea whom I featured before and who is also the first subject of the Goddess Interview in the Feminine Goddess Enlightened Relationship Monthly Membership.

She gushed in the support group (get my ebook to be included):  “Aww thank you so, so much, everyone! I’m so touched and overwhelmed by everyone’s wishes. It was absolutely amazing- we’re vacationing in Jamaica right now and before we left, everyone at work and friends were all pretty much betting that he would do it on our holiday. I dunno, it was just a feeling! He just kept telling me “I love you sooooo much” and would kiss me so tenderly, it just felt like he was ready – and then he would be quite distracted by messages etc. There were a few other clues which were quite obvious in hindsight but I just wrote them off in my head so I could drop my expectations as well ;).But when it didn’t happen the first couple of days, I just wrote off the idea and stopped thinking about it. Turns out he had the ring and had planned to do it on the trip, but didn’t really know when or how he was going to do it – hence the delay. Read more »

Create Space In Your Life For Your Relationship To Flourish And Deepen



You see, you shouldn’t be scared of space.  Space makes the heart grow fonder.  Freaking out doesn’t.  A man will go through an intimacy cycle before he can go deeper and each time he needs to get away from you to reassess his feelings, it’s the time for you to nurture yourself and create a beautiful thing with your own life.

I just got back from a 6-week trip in Asia just less than 2 weeks ago.  Starting with the Phillipines, I visited 4 countries including my home country Indonesia and the last leg of my trip was taking my parents to China.

I’m living large (I’d love to travel more next year when I get my citizenship)…yet I’m a very simple person too.  Guys love me for my simplicity and easy-to-please-ness.  That’s what I teach to you all and it’s proven that being me works LOL…

During my 6-week trip I in fact earned 40% more than before my trip.  How is that even possible? Read more »


How To Get Him Interested Again After I’ve Messed Up?



Are you in love with an alpha man that is just so hard to pin down?  Have you tried all tactics and strategies in the book to make him commit and declare to the world that you are his one and only?  Have you plead, cajoled, threatened to walk away, acted psycho and needy, thrown a fit, used emotional blackmail and manipulation, withdrawn, confronted, stalked him, brought up the talk over and over and given him empty ultimatums?  Or in other words: have you messed up?  Stop now. You are just making a fool of yourself and the more you do all those things, the less likely he will give you what you want.

“OMG Katarina!!! I don’t even have the words to tell you what I feel today… Well, it was exactly a year ago that I reached my lowest point with my guy which lead me to you a couple of weeks later… Yes, a year ago he brought his hot Russian woman to Lebanon, telling me about it and adding that he needed me to leave him alone while he would be “enjoying” her…

Worst period of my life! Oh I cried so much because of it and I felt so hurt and depressed… It was the end of my word. I couldn’t understand at all why this was happening to me and what I did wrong to push him to act this way… Why wasn’t he falling in love with me although we have been seeing each other for a almost a year by then?? Read more »


I Let Go Of My EUM And My Own Emotional Unavailability, And Now I’m Engaged To An Emotionally Available Man


There will be a time, when you realize that you’ve been holding on for too long and it’s time to let go.  That’s the time when you are healed from your own emotional unavailability.  That is when an emotional available man walks into your life and provides the stark contrast that you need.  You see now that a relationship that thrives is always with men who are more into us than vice versa in the beginning. And emotionally available feminine women always tend to be more gravitated toward a man who is putting in the effort to be with them. We are naturally melted by a guy’s effort, not the other way around. That’s the way of nature for millennia.

“NO MORE EUMs!  Found the person who is completely into me and wants to be with me because I became emotionally available!  I was with and EUM in the past because I was an EUW.  I complained and complained, but it did not get any results and I was at fault.

When I had the strength to start to date others that is when I met my now fiancé.  Last week, I told my EUM that I am getting engaged to be married and that I will not be seeing him anymore.  He thought I was telling him this so he can step up.  I think he is still in shock. Read more »


He Offers Me A Relationship When I have Moved On


Feel what you want to feel through whatever goal it is you want to achieve right here right now.  So if being treated like a Goddess is what you want, you have to feel like a Goddess first.  And act like one.  If being happy is what you want, you need to feel happy right here right now.  Your feelings attract more of the same feelings.  That’s why when you feel fearful, you will manifest the very thing you fear of.  If you feel bitter and angry, you will attract more things that makes you even more bitter and angry. Your energetic frequency from which you vibrate is a real thing.  This is the law of attraction.

Just as soon as I finished with the first class of my monthly membership, Gillian posted this in the group: “D has been continuing to contact me the past two weeks. He ramped it up this weekend. I was very surprised at how many times he called me. One of the many times called me was early Saturday morning.. and I didn’t answer. That, apparently, made him nervous cause he continued to try to call me. He asked, (when he finally got a hold of me) so I told him that I had been picked up (for an early morning date) for breakfast and to watch the sun come up.

D was concerned cause he said he thought I was winding my dating down. I said to him (again) that my plans were to continue dating. I said (to D) that he was not interested in a relationship with me and that he indicated to me, several times, that I had much deeper feelings for him than he would ever have for me. (I was throwing back to him what he’s been saying to me..back when he broke it off with me and also during the couple of conversations we’ve had since we’ve been talking over the past month or so.) I told him that considering all that he’s been telling me, that I would be crazy to drop everyone else to date him. I told him that I wanted a relationship and that he did not..and that I needed to make it about me now. Read more »


Why Is He Pulling Away And How To Keep Him Interested


As part of intimacy cycle most guys will need to “regroup” after a period of intimacy (say after your weekend getaway). This is also called the rubber band effect. When a rubber band is stretched, and if the other end stays put, at some point the end that is being stretched will have to bounce back to its original position. So in other words, when your guy is pulling away, as long as you don’t chase and try to cling on to him, he will bounce back to you re-energized. Many women though, out of fear and ignorance, do the very thing that disturbs the bouncing-back process. Now instead of bouncing back, these men are running away from them.

“Hi Katarina,

Thank you again for emailing the book to me; I’m not sure what happened or why I could no longer access it.  I do enjoy reading it and have done so several times.  What you say is true and I do believe in your method, although maybe too late for the one I am or have been pining for lol…which I’m sure you would say, Read it again dummy you don’t get it!  when reading that.

My story is that I met what I thought was an amazing guy and actually thought he could be the one…scary thoughts for me but I just bought everything that he was saying and believed him right away.  We were intimate pretty early on and things were moving fast but I really thought, Ok this is how it goes!  When you meet someone and you know, this is how it is.   Read more »


Is He Losing Interest? Check On Your Expectations


A woman who is strong in her self-confidence as a feminine woman holds the key to a successful relationship in which she is cherished and treated the way she wants to be treated by the man she loves.  And that simply comes from a realization that she is powerful by being soft, secure in her self-worth, operating from a place of WHOLENESS without expectations and being firm in her healthy boundaries and self-respect.  She doesn’t ask for a lot, yet she doesn’t settle for a guy who doesn’t step up either. She treats herself -and her partner- well and she won’t tolerate lousy behaviors from any man.

My private group which is a support group for my clients and book readers is stirring with controversy every now and then (get my ebook to be included in this GEM group in which you will learn and grow so much). One of the members wrote not long ago, “As I was hiding my boyfriend’s birthday present under the bed, I stumbled on a shoebox containing old cards to and from his ex. I shouldn’t have read them cause now I feel like my heart is breaking…I know the cards are old, but it still hurts. Should I bring this up to him or was I in the wrong for reading them?”

Here’s my response:

I would say this is a case of “curiosity kills the cat” and how women are masters of creating problems when there is NONE. Read more »

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