If you have done any dating at all, you have experienced guys that lead with sex. It’s when you give a guy your number and all he talks about is sex. He may want to know your favorite positions, what you like in bed and he hasn’t even met you yet. What do you do with these guys and how do you handle it when all he talks about is sex or constantly alludes to sex?
Many women seem to be confused on how to handle these men that open conversations with sex or direct the conversation early on to sexual topics or just outright attempting to sex. They think if they don’t play along somewhat they will be perceived as a prude.
How Do You Soften Your Boundaries Regarding Men and Sexting?
If you are a follower of this blog or of Katarina’s teachings, you know about softening of your boundaries. The term gets misinterpreted many times. Softening of your boundaries does not necessarily mean you don’t have boundaries, it just means you express them in a soft manner, In other words, when a man does something that you feel inappropriate, like all he talks about is sex, you don’t tear into him and react like you have been deeply offended. You are simply non reactive in your feminine energy as opposed to ballbusting in your masculine energy.
You show him with actions that it’s not pleasing to you. You change the subject or deflect, or you simply ignore him completely. No drama. You accept this behavior or you reject it, it’s that simple.
Accepting and playing along with this sexting game before you have ever met a man isn’t going to make him like you more or up your chances. Sexting buddies are a dime a dozen and there are lots of women who will entertain him. It’s not likely to make you stand out.
If he drops off the planet because you don’t play along, you weren’t a match to start with and you most likely aren’t on the same page anyway, so it’s not loss for you. A lot of guys you meet on these dating sites or dating apps are just looking for a hookup. It’s up to you if that is something you are good with or not.
A high value woman is well aware in the dating process she will often find herself weeding men out.. She knows it’s about observing his behavior and accepting or rejecting. Me personally, when a man leads with sex, I deflect and ignore the first time he does it. The way he handles this is what I observe. If he continues with the sex talk, I simply reject.
Is He Testing You?
When a man starts out talking mostly about sex or wanting to sext or exchange risque pictures, is he testing you? Perhaps not intentionally, but he does gather information about you by your responses. If you engage, be prepared he will most likely expect sex. If you don’t engage and he reacts badly, you can feel confident that sex is what he is likely looking for and yes, he was testing to see if you were a likely candidate for his agenda.
Please not that sending nude pictures is never a good idea, ever. Especially if you don’t know him. He could share your pics with his buddies or worse, put it out there online somewhere for the world to see. Just don’t do it. I shiver because some guy out there probably still has pictures of me from you younger naive days. They were Polaroids, but now there are scanners. I could be a porn star and not even know it.
Why Do So Many Guys Lead With Sex?
Lots of guys lead with sex. The term boys will be boys comes to my mind. Men are visual and sex is important to them. The thing is though, not all guys realize they would actually get more sex if they stopped using sex to lead. We all know our biggest sex organ is our brain and women are turned on via emotions far more than straight sex talk.
Me personally, when a guy that I am getting to know leads with sex, and all he talks about is sex for the most part, I don’t take him serious at all. I am aware he doesn’t exactly get how to connect with a woman and frankly I want a man that does know how to do this without leading with sex. I am bored by the sex talk. I prefer to connect before sex. I prefer to leave these things to the imagination and let things unfold naturally without pushing it. I will weed him out without a second thought.
There is no point in getting bent of of shape or taking it personal when all he talks about is sex or tries to lead with sex. It happens. You don’t need to analyze why or ponder why you attract these men. We all attract these men, we attract all sorts of men. Attracting a man however does not mean you accept him into your life or your world.
A high Value Woman doesn’t worry about these things. If she doesn’t care to engage with men that lead with sex before they even meet her, she simply doesn’t. She sure won’t sit around and worry what these men think of her or try to think how she could turn it around. A high value woman is not so needy for a man’s attention that she entertains men that don’t align with her. she realizes that this is an abundant world and there are other men out there more suited to her and she doesn’t need to settle. A high value woman simply accepts or rejects!
Have you read the book He is Really That Into You, He’s Just Not Ready:. It will answer all your dating questions and solve your dating issues and teach you what propels a man to commit.
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