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Why Won’t He Marry Me Already?

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Not everyone needs to marry and by God, please let marriage be a by-product of a healthy relationship, not a destination. If your relationship is shaky now or not that connected stop thinking of marriage for a while. Dive in the relationship, live it to the fullest, commit to it, be vulnerable, work with your partner to heal each other. That’s what relationship is for. You should stay together till it no longer serves the growth purpose for either/both of you. And stop deceiving yourself that you can walk away from relationship when you’re not done. Be brave, stay and work it out.

 

I received many emails asking me this kind of question from Jennifer: “I’ve been in a relationship with a man for almost 3 years. We’d talked about moving in together and getting married.  He acts like a father to my daughter, stays at my home 24×7, does most of the cooking for us, looks after my daughter when I have to work evenings and is completely devoted to us.

To backtrack: he told me a long time ago that he didn’t believe in marriage.  After dating for over a year I decided it was a deal breaker for me. He wasn’t happy about this but decided that ultimately I was more important that getting married or not getting married and if this was what he needed to do to be with me and my daughter he would do it. Read more »

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Salvation Through Relationship: Relationship As A Spiritual Practice

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“It is not easy to live with an enlightened person, or rather it is so easy that the ego finds it extremely threatening.  Remember that the ego needs problems, conflict, and “enemies” to strengthen the sense of separateness on which its identity depends. The unenlightened partner’s mind will be deeply frustrated because its fixed positions are not resisted, which means they will become shaky and weak, and there is even the “danger” that they may collapse altogether, resulting in loss of self. The pain-body is demanding feedback and not getting it. The need for argument, drama, and conflict is not being met.” ~Eckhart Tolle

This is the second part of my awakening story.  You can read the first part here.

During my awakening I also saw glimpses of what relationship could be like when at least one partner changes him/herself: from being reactive to being non-reactive, from taking things personally to allowing your partner to work through his/her fear, from resisting to getting into the flow and being totally vulnerable, from separation to sacred union as the yin-yang symbol depicts.

In a nutshell, from relationship filled with strife to harmony, healing and…salvation. Read more »

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A Journey Home To Self, A Story of Awakening

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Awakening is available to all because it’s a mere RETURN to our essence.  And that is why it is called “awakening” or “realization.”  It’s not something so grand, it is in fact very ordinary.  But we can’t see it because we are too busy in our delusion that is self-created through ignorance.  We have been lied to by and lost in the dream and we forgot we were sleeping.  When you have awakened, you will never go back to that dream.  And if you do, you know you are dreaming.  You will no longer be lost in the content of the dream and you will remember you are just playing a role that isn’t really you.

The past month I have been floating on Cloud 9 (hence updating this blog hasn’t been a priority).  There has been a profound shift of consciousness in me which I would call awakening.

I have been teaching my inner work program Journey Inward for a year now and I didn’t know what it would lead me to when I first launched it.  I just saw the repeated patterns of unconscious behaviors in my clients and the women who were in my community which kept them from being their most alluring self and in the process attracting and keeping a man attracted in a functional relationship. Read more »

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How Do You Know If A Man Has Claimed You?

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At some point the inevitable question will arise: are we exclusive?  Many will say not every guy subscribes to the “verbal claiming” philosophy and I would agree.  However, a guy who claims us will be so obvious with his actions and he won’t leave us in the dark.  He makes it clear that he’s courting us.  Claiming, more than anything, is really an energy.  Actions, at the end of the day, speak louder than words

Anabelle asked this question:  “Is it considered “the talk” if you ask a guy if he’d be upset that you’re dating other men? I am in a very gray area with firefighter. It’s been over 3 months. He volunteered that he’s not online, he’s not pursuing anyone because he wants to focus on me, he took me out of town and we had a wonderful time, he wants to introduce me to his family who are asking to meet me, he makes plans in advance, he spends a couple nights a week at my house, he calls me “babe” and makes me feel beautiful, cooks me dinner, fixes things around my house and brings me little gifts **BUT** he hasn’t said, “you’re my woman” or “I don’t want you dating anyone else,” or “I’m falling in love with you,” etc. etc. Read more »

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When Your Boyfriend Wants To Go Back To His Ex, Hold The Door Wide Open

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When your man thinks he’s not over his ex, let him go….hold the door wide open.  Usher and help him to complete his journey faster.  And trust the strength of your connection and the rare special of a woman you are will bring him back into your arms eventually…that if some lucky guy hasn’t swept you off your feet that is!  My teaching is a path of no resistance.  I call it Love Jiujitsu in the highest form. It works like magic cause it’s a path of all saints.

 

Marina came to me last year after the guy she was dating for four months decided that he wanted to go back to his High School sweetheart.  They had a relationship over 20 years ago and somehow the flame was still burning in him.  He wasn’t done with her.

She was broken hearted, of course, so she signed up for my private coaching and three cycles of both Journey Inward and Leaning Back workshop as well as the new program Four Components Of Melting His Heart.

Throughout their breakup he regularly checked in on her through emails.  He loved to write (long) emails, often to her irritation and bewilderment, talking about all and sundry: his health, her health, her pets, the air purifier she should be getting, etc…everything but about his real feelings for her and why he wrote her so much. Read more »

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Why The Alpha Female Finds It Hard To Have A Lasting And Peaceful Relationship

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If you are an alpha female with beta traits, your relationship with your alpha partner will sooner or later run its course thanks to lack of polarity that will be exacerbated over time.  If you keep facing the same issues from one relationship to the next, it’s time to change yourself or… settle with a beta male who matches your energy better.  Not every woman is cut out to be with an alpha male.  Some of them will be much happier with a beta male if changing proves to be difficult for them.

Chrissy whom I wrote about a couple of blog posts ago updated me with this:  “Katarina, what would I ever have done without you! My relationship with C is probably the easiest, most relaxed, no-conflict one I’ve ever been in. I just go day by day, keeping feminine and open and he responds every day with making changes to keep me happy all on his own. I don’t have to say a thing when I’m upset, I don’t nag. I never realized being with someone could be this easy and that I could feel so loved and wanted without begging to get it. Thank you.

About 3 months ago I was nagging him to change his status on FB. Why? Such a stupid thing to want. Who cares? So the last month or so I realized it doesn’t matter what’s on FB. I know what we have and I trust him to know what we have. Well this week, guess who changed his status on FB. Once I didn’t care anymore and removed the expectation, it happened. Plus, why waste time being upset about something that’s really just nonsense. Read more »

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What Dating With Dignity And Dating Without Drama Is All About: The Plight Of The Alpha Female

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 My method assures your dignity intact in every situation.  Even when he’s not ready or he’s not the one, when you move on he won’t easily forget a woman like you because you leave such an imprint in his mind.  He has never met a woman like you: so dignified, so cool, so mature, so soft, feminine and non-reactive.  And if there is ever a chance for both of you to have a relationship in the future, you’ll be the first whose door he knocks on.  But of course he has to be real swift because a woman like you doesn’t stay single for very long.

Ruby feels after two months of dating, he should want to move the relationship forward but so far he only sees her once a week with not much communication in between.  She is thinking of walking away because she feels so attached already.  This is an interesting behavioral pattern of an anxious-avoidant.  She wants things to get deeper -and can’t wait for that to happen- but at the same time she’s scared to get deeper herself without assurance/guarantee that they are a couple (I’m sure you’re familiar with the whole routine here). Read more »

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He’s So Melted He Pulled A George Clooney On Her

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Which woman would actually turn George Clooney down?  Yup, not many and because his new fiancée is so different and he has to work hard to win her over, she left an imprint in him.  This is at the core of my teaching: to become a high-value woman that every other woman pales in comparison to you.  So it could simply be that he finally found the right woman after hopping from one woman to another every couple of years.  He perhaps has done his healing time and enough transitional relationships to wake up one day and tell himself: “Hey, I’m ready.”

So not only George Clooney is in a rush to marry after only dating his new squeeze Amal Alamuddin for 6 months, my client Chrissy is in Alamuddin’s seat at the moment and sees herself in a dilemma…a good one that is.  “Ok I’m freaking out. My boyfriend proposed! Great you’re thinking. What’s wrong? We’ve known each other 6 months. Four of those as an exclusive couple. Too damn soon! This from a guy I was chasing and leaning forward so much that I almost chased him away until I found this group. I suggested we revisit this the end of the year. When it’s been longer. But now I’m wondering what the heck is wrong with him to want to marry me so fast! Am I creating a problem where there’s none or am I justified in being a bit freaked out? Read more »

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Why My Ex Disappears And Reappears Only To Disappear Again

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If a man really wants a woman, he will stop at nothing.  The only reason a man doesn’t do anything is because either he’s on the fence or he doesn’t want to.  He might very well be on the fence but nudging him or trying to fix things runs counter everything I teach.  That won’t make a man want you more.  Millions of women have just done that and they are left exhausted and broken-hearted.  The easiest and most fulfilling relationship is the one with the man at the helm.

Hannah, 28, has been in limbo for 1.5 years now.  She’s hung up on her ex-fiancé whom she broke up with when she was 22.  She can’t let go and he keeps pulling the Houdini act every few weeks: disappearing and reappearing with no clear indication if he wants in or out even though he said over and over he didn’t want to go back to her and she’s getting desperate every time.  He has her on a leash and emotionally she finds it impossible to move on because she has always “what if” in the back of her mind.

She was in my Journey Inward and Leaning Back Workshop but her attachment to him is immense and unbreakable, still.  She shared this in the group recently:

Update: Ex-fiancé invited me over for a beer last night.  I went over and it went amazingly well.  It was the best time I ever had with him, and we were having so much fun laughing and joking, etc etc. I should’ve left on a good not … Read more »

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Why You Need A Rotation Till He Steps Up And Why It Works

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“Katarina Phang You are amazing!!  It’s been a year with my guy!!  I won’t call him EUM as he is now mine and all mine.  He has claimed me!!  Rori Raye opened my eyes to getting in tuned with my feelings more and when talking to man express it with feeling messages!!  Honey, you took this step further and with huge differences between you both, as you know the right way of how a woman should speak to a man, the right way to engage a man’s emotions that allows “true connection” to happen in the moment!  You truly understand men and how to trigger them!!  I used your lines and all of your suggestions and that was the magic pill that kept him engaged!!  So happy you told me my work with him was not done, as you were correct I got pissed and ended things!!  I returned stayed feminine and finally accepted the idea of dating rotation which I guess sent off a different aura/vibe to me!!” 

 

Mia found me about a month ago -actually on another dating coach page- when she had just freshly dumped her EUM in the heat of the moment and was looking for solutions to her dilemma.  They had seen each other for almost a year and he still hadn’t claimed her and she was sick of it.  Obviously she wasn’t done.  And I always advise women who aren’t emotionally done to go back to the “crime scene” and do things differently, according to my method this time.

She went back in touch, signed up for my “Get-Ex-Back” edition of Journey Inward and began to practice what I teach.  She started by removing expectations and putting him in a rotation.  A few weeks into this he began to really respond to her shifted vibe: Read more »

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