Beware Of A Man’s Words And Your “Connection,” They Can Hook You Into Unrequited Love

Yes, unless he’s in your life and consistently investing in you, this connection thingy is all just speculation and -sorry- your wishful thinking. How many of you are so deeply in love with “the connection” you shared and can’t move on cause you hang on to that idea while if you ask him he doesn’t even remember what kind of connection you two had or what he had said in the past.

 

“So I have a (long) story for you ladies. Several years ago, I dated a man who I felt instantly smitten with. This is unusual for me because every other time in my life the men I’ve fallen for grew on me slowly.

But not this one.

He hit me like a ton of bricks and I just KNEW he was “the one.”  He pursued me hot and heavy and even though we had opposing schedules (I worked nights and weekends, he worked weekdays) he asked me for every free moment I had. We had this connection that was just too strong to deny, and when we were together, there was no doubt in my mind he felt it too. Continue reading

The Difference Between The Rules And My Method

The Rules are about how to secure an outcome by applying a set of strict strategies.  When you are all about outcomes, your energy is heavy and manipulative.  And yes you come across aloof and uninterested in genuine connection.  You just are interested in a goal which is to make him submit to your whim.  Some guys will go for that…yep the backbone-less beta variety you have no interest in, not the guys you are attracted to.  Not the guys who have options cause they will scratch you off right of the bat.

Cherry shared in the group:   “Long post, but I’ve decided to share my story, because I want women on here to know that Kat’s philosophy really does work and can transform your dating life. 

My story: 2 years ago I moved from vegas to Austin, 23 yrs old. I’d never had a serious bf (and was still a virgin) mainly because I just couldn’t get guys to want me long term. I was the Queen of chasing and convincing. 

I moved into a house with two guys, renting a room in their house. LONG story short, me and one of my roommates, I’ll call him M, ended up being very attracted to each other. I fell so hard for him. I liked him SO much. Eventually I lost my virginity to him. 

Afterwards, I got very emotionally anxious, attached, needy, possessive, clingy, etc.  Continue reading

The Missing Piece Of The Puzzle Of All This Relationship Advice Is Inner Work

Meeting Kat online was the best thing that happened to me as for the first time I understood the part I was playing in destroying good relationships. I was guarded as I bought her book as I had sworn that I would no longer buy any more books cause none of them works and read it (couldn’t put it down by the way) then the grand aha! moment happened.  It all finally made sense, that I was literally creating my experiences, I found myself, my past, my triggers and my present, including the ugly truths that led me to difficult relationships. I did not want to accept who I had become, I couldn’t believe how simple everything is.  I’ve been with my man almost two years, for one year, it was really just a mess but early last year when I really understood Kat’s lessons, my relationship blossomed into the most beautiful experience in my life.” ~Emma, Nairobi-Kenya

 

“I have had a long history of seemingly perfect relationships with Alpha men and have never quite had a problem attracting men. But for some reason, my relationships never led to a firm commitment and had often been shrouded in anger, mistrust, control and two broken engagements later, I finally realized something was not right.

I also met my current man around that time. As I watched the tone of the relationship mirror what I was used to, it suddenly hit me it was a same “skirt” different “trousers” situation.  No way was history going to repeat itself as I owned up to my part of an erratic story.

I think for me the biggies are 1) dealing with an alpha-alpha who is also an avoidant attacher 2) being a Florence nightingale and how I won my power back by snapping into reality 3) the power of completely letting go.

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If You Want Success With Men, This Is What You Should Not Do

There is something very transformative and calming about being humble and receptive.  You are so used to in the go-getting, leading role you find it a torture to just sit back and let somebody else show you the way.  I can’t show you the way unless you shut up.  If you want to the leading role, get your own coaching business, okay?  And this advice comes from a former know-it-all who always felt the need to question anyone on anything or any authority.  It’s not an ego to say I’m an authority in this field.  It’s a well-supported fact so get over your own huge-ego projection.

In my line of work I deal with reactive anxious controlling drama queens all the time.  Many of them are so short-fused they lash out at me left and right.  They perceive insults as the wind blows.

They are projecting their own miserable state of mind that pushes their guys away in the first place.

They expect me to write or talk a certain way, or use certain words so they don’t get riled up.  So they expect to tell me how to coach them.

They are miserable, and it shows.

One person even quoted what I said on twitter cause she’s pissed that I told her the whole truth without sugar-coating why her guy didn’t respond to her drama queen ways (I haven’t checked and have no desire to check and I see it as a free promotion, in fact, so thank you LOL…).  It was her pushy masculine energy. Continue reading

Want Your Ex Back? Keep Your Ego In Check

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Your ego is why your relationship has been nothing but rocky.  Your ego needs constant validations and when it doesn’t get them, it will jump to the conclusion that you are not loved enough and “you deserve better.”  Yes you deserve a good man and a healthy fulfilling relationship and more….but you have to start from yourself first.  Be emotionally healthy first.  Be less dependent on your guy’s approval or validations.  Tame your expectations. 

“I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over 2 years. He is an amazing guy. He would do almost everything I wanted and one day all of a sudden he stopped. Multiple things were going on in his life, that I didn’t want to understand.  I only cared about me and I was not respecting his space.
 
He kept distance between us.  I initiated the talk over 20 times. Repeating the same thing, telling him he’ll loose me if he doesn’t step up.  Every time I break up with him he comes back the next day.  
 
But the last time I broke up with him he didn’t react.  He said okay which hurt me even more.  In the argument he even told me “I’m getting off you.”  Yeah he told me, the woman he once wanted to marry in the future whom he even gave a promise ring, that.

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